Best of the Rest of the World

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migrant
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by migrant » Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:21 am

I think Pete, and,or I, have posted this in the past but since it is that time of the year I always enjoy revisiting this.

The essence of life lies with the dispensing with of formalities

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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by PeteC » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:38 am

Yes, it never gets old for those of us who saw the original show. :D Pete :cheers:
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by migrant » Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:09 am

11987176_10153608918672744_4676339489498986837_n.jpg
11987176_10153608918672744_4676339489498986837_n.jpg (29.13 KiB) Viewed 140 times
The essence of life lies with the dispensing with of formalities

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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by Dannie Boy » Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:37 am

migrant wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:09 am
11987176_10153608918672744_4676339489498986837_n.jpg
Must have heard some pretty bad jokes then!!

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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by migrant » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:30 am

Dannie Boy wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:37 am
migrant wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:09 am
11987176_10153608918672744_4676339489498986837_n.jpg
Must have heard some pretty bad jokes then!!
LOL, the sentence was stuck in there although I have to admit I like it!!
The essence of life lies with the dispensing with of formalities

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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by Big Boy » Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:36 am

I had read that at least 2 dozen times before the punch line sunk in. Must be having a sense of humour failure :cry:
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by Nereus » Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:08 pm

An old one, but something to look forward to:
.................................................................................................................

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?!"
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The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World

Post by Nereus » Wed Dec 06, 2017 4:33 pm

A woman walks into the pet store looking for a new pet.
She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 ONO. Curious, the lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why is this beautiful parrot so cheap?"
The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things."

The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is:

"Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking, CAWWWWW." The lady finds it amusing.

Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New hookers in the house, business will be booming tonight, CAWWWWWW." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.

A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says:

"Good evening Steven!"

...........................................................................................
Trump, Putin and Merkel are walking along the boardwalk discussing politics.
As is the case with politicians, conversation invariably degraded to one-upmanship about how great their countries are.

Putin boasts: "Mother Russia now has submarine that can stay underwater for two veeks without needing to resurface for fuel! Pretty good, eh comrades?"

Trump, not the kind of person to be outdone by the Russians, tells Putin: "America has submarines... and other stuff too, I'm telling you, lots of stuff… and it's great, bigly stuff, and our submarines can stay underwater, and also, they don't need to come back up to the surface or resurface, for TWO months- because I made them, and our navy, great again!"

Merkel is just about to change the topic to something more sensible when suddenly a submarine resurfaces in the ocean beside the boardwalk.
The hatch opens and a man salutes out of it: "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil know`s you`re dead!

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