Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage?

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Vital Spark
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Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage?

Post by Vital Spark »

The only reason I have started this topic is that a lot of westerners, who profess to speak Thai much better than I do, seem to get themselves into into confrontations with Thais.

Example: A native speaker I know was at a supermarket the other day and had parked his bike correctly at the front of the shop. As he was about to leave, a Thai woman parked at an awkward angle behind his bike, meaning he couldn't reverse out. He explained (in his good Thai) that she shouldn't have parked her bike like that, and she should observe the lines on the tarmac, what did she think she was doing, etc. etc. He then got a tirade of abuse from said woman, and it turned into an argument.

Now, if I had been in the same situation (not having the vocabulary to explain lines, correct parking procedures, etc.) I would have just waid and said 'Kor tort, ka' with a smile, so that I could reverse my bike. I don't think that it would have turned into a full-blown confrontation.

The Thai language is so complex with regard to politeness and hierachy, that it's extremely easy to get it wrong and offend. Even when offence is not intended.

What do you think?

VS
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MrPlum
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by MrPlum »

Thought it was a no-no to make a Thai lose face? Sounds like he forgot that lesson.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by sandemb »

Agree 100%, Asians do not like to lose face. I speak Indonesian at conversation level and there are certain words I only use when someone crosses me really bad. Same in TH. Save the worst 'til last when they really deserve it!
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by GLCQuantum »

Vital Spark wrote:The only reason I have started this topic is that a lot of westerners, who profess to speak Thai much better than I do, seem to get themselves into into confrontations with Thais.

Example: A native speaker I know was at a supermarket the other day and had parked his bike correctly at the front of the shop. As he was about to leave, a Thai woman parked at an awkward angle behind his bike, meaning he couldn't reverse out. He explained (in his good Thai) that she shouldn't have parked her bike like that, and she should observe the lines on the tarmac, what did she think she was doing, etc. etc. He then got a tirade of abuse from said woman, and it turned into an argument.

Now, if I had been in the same situation (not having the vocabulary to explain lines, correct parking procedures, etc.) I would have just waid and said 'Kor tort, ka' with a smile, so that I could reverse my bike. I don't think that it would have turned into a full-blown confrontation.

The Thai language is so complex with regard to politeness and hierachy, that it's extremely easy to get it wrong and offend. Even when offence is not intended.

What do you think?

VS
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Now talking with Westerners in English - That's another story. :wink:
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by blue05 »

too many people think they know too much Thai and the facts are they do not, they get tones wrong and then get pissed when misunderstood- and say please and thank you and leave the rest to others
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by STEVE G »

I wonder if the problem was more that he was criticising the Thai's parking rather than the fact that he was doing it in Thai?
To be honest I would have just asked to get out as you're going to be rather busy if you take it upon yourself to start pointing out every time that someone parks incorrectly on a Thai road.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by Pleng »

I agree with Steve. The guy sounded like he was heading for trouble regardless of what language he was speaking in.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by BaaBaa. »

Yep, I'll go with the above.

It's all to your advantage as long as you aren't gobby.

You either converse with good people or hear people slagging you off thinking you're clueless.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by STEVE G »

I'm not the best at car parking myself and a couple of times a year I hire a car from the airport in the UK to go and visit the eldery parents back home near Nottingham and if I was just popping to Sainsburys to pick up something for them, I can imagine that I might get a bit uppity myself if some Thai popped out of the woodwork and started telling me that I'd done a bad job.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by Roel »

Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage?
Well Vital Spark you answered your own question.
Yes, proficient language skills CAN be a disadvantage if you use them to get into an argument.

With regard to the loss of face. Like the Thai language this also is a complex phenomenon. In this situation not the Thai woman parking her bike awkwardly lost face but the man (maybe raising his voice) trying to teach her a lesson about lines on the tarmac did. She was in the wrong but he lost his cool which is worse.

Anyway this concept of losing face is used frequently by farangs to explain all kinds of situations and I think too lightly. Of course the concept exists and is of high importance to the Thais but it does not always explain everything.

If you understand a bit of the Thai language you will notice that at street-level-Thai being polite is NOT the norm. In every day situations communication amongst lower and even middle class Thais is not formally polite at all. And they do not seem so sensitive about losing face as many of us think. In the awkwardly parking situation an average Thai would also probably have reacted with the Thai version of "hey missy, what do you think you are doing?"

Back home when we communicate in our native dialect or slang with other native speakers we all know exactly with what we can get away and what would be over the top. Same for Thais of course. I think it is impossible for a non-native Thai speaker to know where these borders are. Do not try to find them: stay on the safe side.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by buksida »

Smiling and being a bit more laid back goes a long way with your language and communication, getting the hump rapidly will cause that kind of reaction in any country and any language - more so if a foreigner does it.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by dtaai-maai »

Roel wrote: Anyway this concept of losing face is used frequently by farangs to explain all kinds of situations and I think too lightly. Of course the concept exists and is of high importance to the Thais but it does not always explain everything.
Spot on post all round, Roel, but I couldn't agree more with the above quote. :cheers:
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by Big Boy »

I don't know if you guys have experienced it, but many times when living in the UK, some Farangs would seem to have a very good grasp of the language, to the extent that many Thais were rolling in stitches. However, when we've got home and I've discussed it with my wife, she has often said he speak no good - his wife teach him too many bad word.

Could it be that that person, who to the uninitiated was speaking in Thai, was actually speaking very badly to the lady? It could be that he actually thought he was talking right, but his teacher was bad?
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by VincentD »

.... Jumps in....

There have been many scenarios proffered, but I am more likely to go with a reaction to the 'behaviour' as opposed to a good understanding of Thai. The body language probably said it all.

I've had someone park behind me with the handbrake on and he didn't show up for ten minutes. When he showed up, I was sitting on the tailgate (obvious to him I had been waiting a while) I just smiled and he became immediately apologetic.
In BB's example above, even though bad language had been used, I'm sure the body language did not reflect that.

So, to answer, from my point of view, whether the ability to speak a lot of Thai is a disadvantage or not, I will say it is not a disadvantage. Just don't use it (or any other language, for that matter) to demean someone deemed to be in the wrong and there'll be a lot less ill-will around.

As the Thais say, 'Sabai-sabai'.
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Re: Can the ability to speak a lot of Thai be a disadvantage

Post by Dannie Boy »

VincentD wrote:.... Jumps in....

There have been many scenarios proffered, but I am more likely to go with a reaction to the 'behaviour' as opposed to a good understanding of Thai. The body language probably said it all.

I've had someone park behind me with the handbrake on and he didn't show up for ten minutes. When he showed up, I was sitting on the tailgate (obvious to him I had been waiting a while) I just smiled and he became immediately apologetic.
In BB's example above, even though bad language had been used, I'm sure the body language did not reflect that.

So, to answer, from my point of view, whether the ability to speak a lot of Thai is a disadvantage or not, I will say it is not a disadvantage. Just don't use it (or any other language, for that matter) to demean someone deemed to be in the wrong and there'll be a lot less ill-will around.

As the Thais say, 'Sabai-sabai'.
:agree: a good command of the language should help you get out of trouble, but use it wrongly and it will do the opposite
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