Farang know too much

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buksida
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Farang know too much

Post by buksida »

Starting this one from comments in the "WOTD" thread as it interests me.

Why would partners/spouses not want their partner to have a better command of the language? Surely it would ease those cross cultural and communication barriers that are common in farang/Thai relationships.

If a couple went to a western country would the native half want the Asian half to remain ignorant of the language and look stupid?

Is it an effort at nationalism? "Its our language and we don't want aliens speaking it!"

Shopkeepers and those in business I can understand after all we're all just stupid tourists in their eyes.

Personally, as stated before, I am wary of anyone that does not want me to expand my vocabulary and understanding ... I find myself asking "what are they trying to hide?" My Thai was pretty good before I met Mrs B so she didn't have a choice!

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Post by Terry »

Buksi

Wait 'til the littl'uns are bigger and fluent in both Angrit & Thai.
You then have your own 'spies' - works wonders. :wink:
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Post by STEVE G »

Why would partners/spouses not want their partner to have a better command of the language? Surely it would ease those cross cultural and communication barriers that are common in farang/Thai relationships.
I think one reason for this is that it makes them feel more useful as they can translate and organize things for you.
However I suspect that the main reason is so that they can gossip with their friends about you without you knowing what is being said. When we are with my friend who speaks fluent Thai, and his wife the girls then sometimes start speaking in Khmer to achieve the same ends, especially if we have just announced that we’re going to the pub instead of the shopping mall.
My partner helps me with speaking the local language in our village in Nong Ki which is more Khmer than Thai, but she jokingly tells me that if I could speak Thai I would talk to too many girls in Hua Hin!
The consequence of all this is that I now know more about an obscure language that is spoken by about 20,000 people in a few villages than I know Thai.
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Them and Us?

Post by MrPlum »

It does seem to be a contradiction when some say they are delighted if you try and speak their language and others, as you suggest, don't want you to.

For me, it's easy. I love NOT being able to understand the yak, yak, yak that constitutes most conversations or the sniping gossip mill. I can remain oblivious to it all secure in the knowledge that the irate Thai whose bike I just ran over, is telling me how much he loves farangs.

Being a natural introvert, conversations drain me. In a world full of noise, the less I need to waste in unnecessary conversation, the better.

Ignorance truly is bliss. :cheers:
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Post by Guess »

I remember when first reading tourist guides many years ago that they all said that travellers should make ant attempt to learn the language. The Thais feel "complimented" by the fact that foreigners wish to learn their language.

I have later read since I have been here that speaking Thai will get you places. In have found evidence that that can be true but also see evidence that that is not always the case.

In a husband and wife situation in Thailand many other factors may play a part. My wife wants me to improve and helps but does not want to become a full time language teacher. We have the added complication that she mostly speaks a different dialect of Thai which is says is her natural language. She also admits it has the benefits of keeping a selective audience.

I have witnessed many time, Thais speaking about me to my wife without considering that I understand any of it. If I don't understand she translates afterwards anyway. Some Thais , especially suppliers, will discuss deals that they don't want you to hear like in another thread about the minibus driver saying "don't worry the farang will pay".

It seems to me it is more to do with the individual's opinion about foreigners speaking Thai rather than a national trend.

If they have something to hide they will not appreciate your knowledge of Thai and if not they should be keen to teach you.
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Post by Green Nomad »

My Thai wife and I live in Spain, when I am not working in the middle east, and you can imagine the interesting situations we have sometimes.
Firslty, my Spanish is ok for most conversations, put it this way I get by. My wife, whos english is quite good is learning Spanish words all the time. We have Thai, French, German, Spanish as well as English friends there, but is never any problem or bad feeling with anything. Lets just all make an effort to relate to foriegn people, you will be surprised how much understanding can be achieved. But what I will say there are some thai women here in Oman who when they meet us farang here say they dont like us speaking thai. Her loss...... 8)
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Re: Farang know too much

Post by dtaai-maai »

buksida wrote: Why would partners/spouses not want their partner to have a better command of the language? Surely it would ease those cross cultural and communication barriers that are common in farang/Thai relationships.
I haven't seen the thread that sparked this off, but I find it a bit strange, even disturbing, that a partner wouldn't welcome any means of improving communication. I've been exceptionally lucky in many ways in the 'romance' stakes, but the very rare problems we have had have invariably been down to language - namely, me getting snotty because Mrs D-M occasionally forgets that I'm a daft farang and can't speak fluent Thai.

Outside of the immediate relationship issue, I can think of several examples. The one that sticks with me is a a woman who told Mrs D-M (after I'd left) that she didn't like farang who spoke Thai, as they are all "kii niaow" - I think that means literally "sticky shit", but actually means something like "tight as a duck's arse"... The woman in question was middle-aged and fairly well off ( a few houses, businesses, etc.). I presume what she meant was, perhaps without realising it, that farang who speak Thai (not much in my case, but it doesn't take that much to impress...) don't tend to fling their money around like tourists, so I chose to take it as a compliment.

What really pisses me off is that when I go to a petrol station on my own and ask (in Thai) for a fill up, I never have a problem - it's not exactly the most complicated phrase to master - but if Mrs D-M is there, and I say the same thing in the same tone, they turn to her and ask what the hell I'm talking about. :banghead:

It was a mild rant, as rants go, mainly because I suspect that your average Thai...

1. doesn't expect farang to speak their language
2. isn't ready/willing/able to make the effort to understand if my Thai isn't perfect, especially if a Thai partner is around
3. Nope, I was interrupted, and now I've forgotten what 3 was...

... but also because I have far more often had a positive response and a good deal of interest - where/how did you learn, what do you do, etc., leading to conversation and a bit of real intercourse :shock:. The downside for me is that once we get into a real conversation I start to get lost, and have to explain that although I can speak a bit of Thai that sounds quite good, it's pretty limited. That doesn't seem to bother anybody except me. Unfortunately, at the moment I just don't have the six months I need to learn the language properly (and I mean to a point where I can carry on on my own, but picking things up more quickly).

Sorry buksida, I'm wandering off topic, but I do think that this is an interesting thread, and I also can't understand why so many farang who live here seem quite happy to spend the rest of their days in Thailand without being able to say any more than 'hello' and 'thanks'.
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Post by Ray123 »

Thai here says so that they dont know how the less well of thais talk together about screwing over the stupid farang. Like the teachers teach then in school to work together o not let foreigners take one inch of land from thailand.
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Post by dtaai-maai »

Thanks for that, ray, very enlightening...
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Post by Super Joe »

I think Ray has just demonstrated that the thread title is incorrect.

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buksida
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Post by buksida »

Interesting ideas, good post d-m, that bit about asking for something when you're alone and getting it and repeating the process with a Thai next to you and getting a blank look is very accurate. I'd put that down to laziness on the part of the listener though as they can understand if they want.

I like the idea of "helping out" also, a nice alternative to my cynical views!
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Post by PeteC »

If they're all still alive which I doubt, there are more than 150,000 American ex-servicemen somewhere who learned his only Thai on the street unfortunately. I was one of them who got my first exposure that way.

Our exposure to Thai's working on the bases resulted in them using pigeon English most of the time, something similar to the sound track of an American made post WWII occupation movie set in Japan. They didn't try too hard to teach proper words, and almost all of us being between 18 and 22 years old, didn't care that much. One year here and BANG, home we go and who cares.

Those of us who extended here for 1-2 or 3 years began to get into the heart of things and then we were more readily accepted, and with the smiles came an attempt to teach us proper words and usage.

What a surprise to many who thought his girlfriend was calling him 'darling', was really calling him 'dak-ling' which translates roughly to 'monkey's ass'...LOL. :roll:

So, the cursing and bar'street language slowly gave way to normal Thai, although primitive. This had good results as it was obvious to see the way the Thai's treated the 'long stay' soldiers vs the ones who were here for a year or less. We were treated real well and given some degree of respect.

Life here then was much less jaded and cynical. The Thai's encouraged us to learn and ble3nd into their society, at least on the village level. Pete :cheers:
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Post by STEVE G »

What a surprise to many who thought his girlfriend was calling him 'darling', was really calling him 'dak-ling' which translates roughly to 'monkey's ass'...LOL.
Now there's a really useful word of the day!
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Post by DawnHRD »

I get the opposite much of the time. Having littl'un, many Thais expect me to speak fluent Thai & start rattling on at great speed - only to be met with either flustered pidgen Thai or blank incomprehension from me. :oops:

His (littl'un's) father did want me to learn Thai & did teach me some. However, he wanted to learn English too, and learnt more rapidly than me, so soon the proportion of English to Thai spoken started to change so we spoke more English. :(
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Post by Big Boy »

STEVE G wrote:
What a surprise to many who thought his girlfriend was calling him 'darling', was really calling him 'dak-ling' which translates roughly to 'monkey's ass'...LOL.
Now there's a really useful word of the day!
A very common phrase in the Bristol area as well. Amazing how many husbands don't know what their beloved is calling them :?
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