Paternity Test

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snakeyboo
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Paternity Test

Post by snakeyboo » Mon Aug 15, 2016 7:14 am

Is there any local clinic you guys know of where i can get a paternity test done? My baby is 9 months Old , It is with alarming concern that I have found out that I am not the Father and have been potentially Suckered into Paternity for obvious financial reasons and security , It has come to my attention that my Gfriend , who was an ex bar girl , slept with another man she knew from working in a bar, She has sent him baby pictures everything , in other words she is playing myself , obviosly because i am financially secure with my own business and live in Thailand! The Gentleman who she has convinced also is the father is a guy who lives and works in the UK with his own wife and kids.
Her infidelity is undeniable , the question is now i know this , can i live with her , and take care of what i thought was my daughter? I have very mixed feelings now and very very unsure on what to do next , but i believe for me the truth is important for my well being. What happens , bearing the results of parenthood , will be my choice to deal with , whether is just adultry or something more sinister and can i trust her ever again , I think our relationship is doomed , but however , I'm a responsible guy , and there is other parties involved. I know about on line Parental tests etc etc , was looking for some results quickly. Ie same day or 1/3 days not wait 1 month.

oakdale160
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by oakdale160 » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:28 am

i think we can all identify with your agony. contact patient services at bumrungrad. Problem,will she allow blood be taken from the baby.

hhinner
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Post by hhinner » Mon Aug 15, 2016 10:36 am

No need for blood. A mouth swab is sufficient.

Bluesky
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by Bluesky » Mon Aug 15, 2016 11:21 am

I would imagine that this is situation is causing you a great deal of grief and uncertainty. I would firstly suggest that you don't give any form of indication to the mother that your aware of the situation. Most of all don't assume anything until you have some definitive answers. Blood grouping (a test that was previously used to indicate parentage prior to the commercialisation of DNA testing. Note: it is not as reliable as DNA but may provide some immediate direction) see link and table attached.
DNA can be collected reliably from many sources other than blood, eg; saliva. If the results are to be eventually admitted into a court as evidence there are fairly strict procedures that you will need to consider from the method of collection, the chain of evidence, and the accredition and recognition of the testing lab for the DNA evidence to be both admissible and acceptable to a Thai Court of law. If it is purely for your own information you may consider a self collection test as you have indicated you are aware of. (See link 2 as example)
I would suggest you seek quality legal advice as a matter of priority if your concerns turn out to be well founded
I am not aware of any accredited DNA collection/processing labs in Hua hin.

http://www.drgreene.com/qa-articles/blo ... paternity/

http://www.easydnathailand.com/faq.html

hhinner
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Post by hhinner » Mon Aug 15, 2016 12:29 pm

^^ I think that saliva alone is no good, so drool won't do it. A proper mouth swab which swabs the cheeks and under the tongue will collect cells from those areas. It is the cells that contain DNA.

snakeyboo
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by snakeyboo » Mon Aug 15, 2016 1:07 pm

Thankyou

Yes I was looking at 2 companies certified online swab test kits ie do at home send swabs back to laboratory, maybe this is my only option. As far as she the person responsible for giving me this problem, I have confronted her on this issue already , She claims It is definatley mine. To which i Replied the obvious , How can a man pay small income to her every 3 months or so when he can , believing the child is his? I'm sure Thai ladies are not in the slightest bit clever enough to keep a prolonged lie. They are bloody good at acting , She screamed at me to get a BLOODCHECK , as if this problem was all of my making and that she was an innocent. Not even thinking for one minute how i might be feeling and still feeling on regaurds to my personal emotions about what i believe to be my own daughter. I built her a House in Issan for 20,000 US dollars , on her mothers land. I did this thinking i was looking after my daughters long term security , but i will gladly walk away and hopefully try and disrupt her life as much as possible haha , sorry i'm feeling very bitter at the moment.

snakeyboo
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by snakeyboo » Mon Aug 15, 2016 1:20 pm

Thankyou Bluesky and others
Yes I have read up on the the relative articles on what when how where etc etc , I was just wanting Peace of mind quickly , I have already found 2 very reputable online Laboritory Companies that do legal to the specifications to do with courts , the tests take one month, postage etc etc , all are swab based test kits for the home. The Australian Company is around 8000 baht all in for 99.99999 percent and recognised in international courts , was just looking for a quick fix , putting myself through a month of torure is not easy. My once unconditional love , has been slightly marred. my emotions are so confused.

hhinner
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Post by hhinner » Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:26 pm

If you want a test to use in court you will need to do a test with a proper certified chain of custody. However, for your own peace of mind it's probably best to go with the self administered swabs first.
Good luck!

oakdale160
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by oakdale160 » Mon Aug 15, 2016 5:14 pm

There is the other possibilty that the baby is yours, but that she had sex with the other guy around the same time and that she is suckering him to believe that it is his. There are well known cases of Thai BGs recieving monhly money from 6 or 7 guys.

snakeyboo
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by snakeyboo » Mon Aug 15, 2016 10:07 pm

Yes Oakdale,
This is why i have Confused and mixed emotions , I did think that i had covered this point in my post , but yes the major concern for me is paternity As i said maybe adultry i can deal with , not sure , my main concern and fundamental concern is for my daughter whom i have unconditional love , if anything i'm scared of getting that taken from me , not through a minset , but through emotions that may come out in myself if the worst case scenario is that it is not my baby. Couldnt give a shit about money or anything else. Ps this is my first child im 47 , Im sure for those parents out there will understand how i'm feeling , to be honest very scared , because maybe i cannot control my reactions , maybe my feelings change , i just scared also.
They say what you don't know can never harm you , but now i do Know everything, she has come up with lies , excuses everything , she know im hurt , she says she is sorry. I'm playing along with those lies and accepting that i'm the father because at the end of the day i'm still preying I am. I'm doing it all for my daughter. If however it is not my daughter , well to be honest i'm so very very scared that my heart will reject someone so beautiful and innocent. The thought has crossed my mind just to forget about it and carry on as normal. But i'm not the kind of guy to do so , i would only endure myself to so much torture, i know my mind, I tend to over think some stuff sometimes.
I would be very happy to seek advice on anyone else who has been in this situation before as regaurds to parenthood.

oakdale160
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by oakdale160 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 12:38 am

I think any of us reading your last letter can identify with your feelings and admire you for them.
can a parent love another man's child. most definitely yes, any adopting parent does just that.
what has thrown you into such confusion is not parentage but deceit. You have been lied to, you have been deceived and correcctly you direct your anger at the person who has wronged you.
What ever the outcome, I feel sure that you will not loose the love you have for the child and will separate the anger and direct it where it deserves to go.

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Dannie Boy
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by Dannie Boy » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:48 am

Because I'm not emotionally involved it's easy for me to suggest this, but today you love your "daughter" so why risk destroying this by having a dna (or other test) to prove whether you are the biological father or not? I can understand at the back of your mind there will always be that doubt, but maybe you could care for her during her most important years bringing her into adulthood and then when she's old enough to take care of herself and if the doubt still lingers then get the tests done then. If the worst happens and you are not the father, you at least have the satisfaction of having taken care of her as best you could - I'm sure you will still maintain the father-daughter bond whatever the outcome. Don't envy your decision so good luck.

oakdale160
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Re: Paternity Test

Post by oakdale160 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:34 am

My first response was--take the girl and run

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Re: Paternity Test

Post by Gregjam » Tue Aug 16, 2016 10:37 am

Get the test done, it will save a lot of potential legal issues later on. It does not take long to be a father but being a dad takes years of hard work.
Try to remove the emotions when dealing with the partner. What has been said does not paint an encouraging picture but it is something the OP has to deal with. Decide whether proper impartial legal advice would be useful.
Take care.

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