Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

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sidthesloth
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Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by sidthesloth » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:27 pm

let's be honest, this is pretty common

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by HHTel » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:37 pm

Is it? I know many couples who have been together for years, myself included. Maybe you're moving in the wrong circles!

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by sidthesloth » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:44 pm

For an extreme example, see this post
http://www.huahinforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=31890

But in real life I see it so often. Sad looking old guy walking down the street or around the food court with a grumpy frumpy thai lady following 5 metres behind. How can these people be happy together.

Sometimes you overhear them trying uselessly to communicate with each other thru broken tinglish. It breaks the heart. These ladies don't even try to hide their obvious disdain for their benefactor.

On the other hand, some couples look really happy together and I can't help being a bit jealous of that.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by HHTel » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:50 pm

I've been here 15 years and the failed relationships in my circle of friends can be counted on one hand. Bad relationships are talked about, written about and so on. You rarely find people publicly shouting about how great their relationship is. I think you'll find in general there are more happy relationships than bad ones.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by RCer » Sun Nov 27, 2016 2:05 pm

Just my thoughts. Bad relationships start in a bar, here.

Unlike the US where bars are where people go to meet. Here they are there for businness. Not condeming, just an observation.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by B6PTW » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:03 pm

To judge by some of the people I know, they fall for the flattering attention of a much younger girl (generally a mistake) and then put the land, car and motorbike in her name and are then liable to lose it all if they leave.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by Big Boy » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:16 pm

Everytime I go shopping you will see a grumpy frumpy Farang being followed by a Thai lady, but we've been happily married for 27 years, so looks mean nothing.

I would guess the OP has been the subject of a disastrous relationship with a Thai, and now assumes every Farang/Thai relationship is like his.
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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by Spitfire » Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:41 pm

The other often made mistake is that long range relationships are hard to make work (not impossible though). If you are truely living here all the time then you have a lot more chance of being happy with your partner than in any other senario.

Falling for a nice piece-of-ass half your age whilst out at night because she has a sweet mouth and flatters you...is only going to end badly.
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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by HarryVardon » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:16 pm

Thai girls have the knack of making an old farang feel as if he's 25 again. There are some stupid farangs out there who actually believe their Thai girl friends are head over heels in love with them. As a farang you have to remember that when a Thai girl first meets you she sees you as a walking ATM. You are probably, like me, an ugly old man even if you feel 25 inside you certainly don't look like that on the outside. This doesn't mean that Thai girls are all bad, far from it. After a time you can build up a beautiful relationship with most of them and be the best of friends. But never, ever imagine that this will be like the affair you had with your first wife where you built a life together, both had the same ambitions, etc. If you "look after" your Thai girlfriend and she "looks after" you and you get on well with each other then you can have a perfect relationship that will last a long time. Never forget that a Thai girl needs some freedom, regular Yak-Yak and shared Papaya Salads are a very important part of her life. You meet your friends when you play golf, etc. and she has the right to meet her friends too. You also must respect her culture and realize she will never adopt a Western Culture just as you will never become Asian. It takes two to build a good relationship.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by STEVE G » Sun Nov 27, 2016 4:35 pm

HHTel wrote:I've been here 15 years and the failed relationships in my circle of friends can be counted on one hand. Bad relationships are talked about, written about and so on. You rarely find people publicly shouting about how great their relationship is. I think you'll find in general there are more happy relationships than bad ones.
Yes, the majority of friends I have in Thailand are in relationships that have lasted between 10 and 20 odd years and that is definitely not the case with most of my colleagues in Europe.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by crazy88 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 7:42 pm

Some good comments on this thread which makes a change; When this type of subject comes up it is normally all negatives.

To answer the original question? I would not settle for it but people do. I guess they all have their individual reasons. If you have common interests, share a sense of humour and wit, respect each other and are loyal to each other, work together through each others problems, support each other then you can build a lasting relationship. If both of you are miserable then it is time to move on. Just my opinion.

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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by BOZ » Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:32 am

Most of my friends in LOS are in solid relationships... I have seen one fail, sad but it happens.. another one is strange as it is a paid relationship, he pays her to stay... strange doubt it will last... the rest are on solid ground... I knew my wife for 5 years before we dated, married 3 years later.. She lived in the USA with me, and we share many interests, flying in our plane, golfing, scuba and motorcycle riding... She enjoys her new life and we are a real team... We now are splitting our time between HH and the states with her having 7 months HH and me 4.5 months... I don't see any bumps in the road between us... I think finding the right woman that shares your interest, wants and needs, while respecting them and their space, needs and desires will work.... I think the OP has been bitten by a bad relationship or 2... Change your environment and friends if you find the cycle repeating itself!! I wish him best of luck in his search for a good relationship!!
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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by StevePIraq » Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:35 am

Boz you say its strange as it is a paid relationship. I have found that most western guys give their women money, up to50k a month. Personally I have worked all my life my wife has her own business and makes money, I pay for everything so why should I give her cash as well. I have never understood this idea. If the guy stops giving her money does she pack up and leave?
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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by Big Boy » Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:51 am

Outside of my wife's Thai OAP, she has no income (Thai OAP = virtually no income anyway). I just draw money as she needs it and hand it over. Most of what she spends benefits both of us, and I would never consider depriving her of any treats she may want.

I must admit, my money/her money is a totally alien concept in my world. The bank account is mine, but the money is ours. I do maintain a bank account (+/- 100,000 Baht) for my wife as well to give her an element of independence i.e. she doesn't have to keep asking me for money. To me, that's the way it should work when you get married. If you don't want to share, don't get married.

I know many will see this differently, but that's what makes the world go around.
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Re: Why do expats settle for horrible relationships with Thai girls who hate them?

Post by StevePIraq » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:53 pm

I share and many do but I am not going to pay a lady to live with me.

Convenience is I believe one major reason some couples stay together. Some men are totally incapable of doing anything themselves let alone trying to deal with Thai bureaucracy, shopping, bills etc.
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