Best of the Rest of the World
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm so the two decide to go the doctor to find out why.
After a number of tests and questions, the doc suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex. Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After 20 minutes of wafting, still no orgasm, and so his friend suggests a swap. 'I'll shag her and you waft the towel'.
Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever. Paddy turns to his friend slowly and says...
'...and that, my old son, is how you waft a fckin' towel'
After a number of tests and questions, the doc suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex. Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After 20 minutes of wafting, still no orgasm, and so his friend suggests a swap. 'I'll shag her and you waft the towel'.
Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever. Paddy turns to his friend slowly and says...
'...and that, my old son, is how you waft a fckin' towel'
I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
It doesn't matter
MY in BS full of BS.
“When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.” Stephen Jay Gould
“When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.” Stephen Jay Gould
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
MY in BS full of BS.
“When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.” Stephen Jay Gould
“When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.” Stephen Jay Gould
Ed Died
I just had to share this one:
Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates,
where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground..
A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'
"Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like
I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ed.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was
overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid yet
another egg - his joy was overwhelming..
As he was about to lay his third egg,
he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.......
"Ed, wake up! You just shit in the bed!"
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!
Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates,
where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
that is as a chicken.'
Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground..
A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'
"Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like
I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ed.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was
overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid yet
another egg - his joy was overwhelming..
As he was about to lay his third egg,
he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.......
"Ed, wake up! You just shit in the bed!"
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
A little timely video
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
Nereus, you never told us!
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
Ah, I wish that I still had that kangaroo suit.Nereus, you never told us!
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil know`s you`re dead!
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
At last someone analyzed a serious issue
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
A baseball fan was heckling an outfielder. It did not turn out how the heckler intended.
Weird fact, if you can believe Wikipedia. Tony's first major league hit happened 20 years to the day after his father's first hit. Both hit doubles.
Weird fact, if you can believe Wikipedia. Tony's first major league hit happened 20 years to the day after his father's first hit. Both hit doubles.
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
A letter from John Phillips of the Yale University School of Medicine to the New England Journal of Medicine, Feb. 14, 1991:
When referring to the hand, the names digitus pollicis, indicis, medius, annularis, and minimus specify the five fingers. In situations of clinical relevance the use of such names can preclude anatomical ambiguity. These time-tested terms have honored the fingers, but the toes have been labeled only by number, except of course the great toe, or hallux. Is it not time for the medical community to have the toes no longer stand up and merely be counted? I submit for consideration the following nomenclature to refer to the pedal digits: for the hallux, porcellus fori; for the second toe, p. domi; for the third toe, p. carnivorus; for the fourth toe, p. non voratus; and for the fifth toe, p. plorans domum.
Using porcellus as the diminutive form of porcus, or pig, one can translate the suggested terminology as follows: piglet at market, piglet at home, meat-eating piglet, piglet having not eaten, and piglet crying homeward, respectively.
If you didn't get the punch line, all will be apparent as soon as you start this brief read: https://tinyurl.com/y4dhm9ck
https://www.futilitycloset.com/2013/09/28/digit-count/
When referring to the hand, the names digitus pollicis, indicis, medius, annularis, and minimus specify the five fingers. In situations of clinical relevance the use of such names can preclude anatomical ambiguity. These time-tested terms have honored the fingers, but the toes have been labeled only by number, except of course the great toe, or hallux. Is it not time for the medical community to have the toes no longer stand up and merely be counted? I submit for consideration the following nomenclature to refer to the pedal digits: for the hallux, porcellus fori; for the second toe, p. domi; for the third toe, p. carnivorus; for the fourth toe, p. non voratus; and for the fifth toe, p. plorans domum.
Using porcellus as the diminutive form of porcus, or pig, one can translate the suggested terminology as follows: piglet at market, piglet at home, meat-eating piglet, piglet having not eaten, and piglet crying homeward, respectively.
If you didn't get the punch line, all will be apparent as soon as you start this brief read: https://tinyurl.com/y4dhm9ck
https://www.futilitycloset.com/2013/09/28/digit-count/
Re: Best of the Rest of the World
"Check engine light":
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil know`s you`re dead!
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Re: Best of the Rest of the World
Have to say - enjoyed this one!!
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.