And I thought this was going to be different.

[anothermug?]

I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, and turned to me to help her support the her and the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a helpful lawyer in Hua Hin. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have to admit that this name is a pseudenim; I am registered under another name.

[Wanderlust]

Sorry to hear this, and you do need to consult a lawyer but the process you are about to embark on is not easy and very likely you will come out of it without the girl, and probably without much to show for it. I can almost guarantee that your girl will react badly to the idea of a lawyer being involved, and you have effectively signed away your legal rights to anything involving the land when you bought the property, although the house would be legally 50% yours if your marriage ended. If you want to PM me I can give you the name and number of a lawyer in Bangkok that I have used but I would think long and hard before doing anything.

[Gooner]

Sorry to read your tale,it takes some balls to admit it,and you have been unlucky that it went so far,your not the first for this to happen to, every time,the girl is seen as being different.
I dont know if you thought about leasing the house from your wife,but thats illegal in Thailand if you are married.
You will have to get your wife to put the house in someones name that you can lease it from,which of course she will not do,i think you need some serious legal advice.
When i first came to Thailand i got some advice that i thought was cynical,but its so true....DONT INVEST MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD TO LOOSE IN THAILAND

[big jimmy]

I would think most men in this forum have every sympathy with you...myself included......I can't help you at all but I sincerely hope that you find a solution to the problem...

[Norseman]

I know one guy who was almost in the same position as you are know.
After 3 weeks acquaintance with a saloon girl here in HH he bought a house in her name. Their relationship was a short lived one.
A couple of days after last payment and all paper work done, she told him to leave HER house.
After a bitter struggle his g.f. accepted the following solution:

300.000 Baht cash + a motorbike and she would transfer the house and land to him.

He did the company-route, bought her out, and that was the end of his night mare.

Your case is quite different as it's your wife we are talking about.
There are so many questions here that I can only advise you to get yourself a lawyer.

I wish you all the best for the future and hope you will be able to reset your rightful belongings.

[redzonerocker]

don't know enough of the legal side of the matters in question but the advice of some of the more experienced people on this site will no doubt help you along what will be a difficult time for you & your family.
the only advice i would give is to try to stay positive.i'm sure you are not the first nor will you be the last to find yourself in this situation.
you may be condemned by some for being unwise or maybe even foolish, but thats the easy option.
you sound a pretty genuine & decent guy & i hope things work out ok for you.if you have family or friends you can talk to in confidence then i would suggest to do this rather than trying to deal with everything yourself.
good luck.

[splitlid]

tell the wife that you want to buy a bigger house in HH, the old one is too small. she will love that idea, get a friend or relation of yours to act as the buyer,find the new house you want and then get her all excited.talk it up big....the new house will be in her name etc etc.
sell the house for whatever.tell her you need the cash to pay for new house , get the money and then tell her to f@$k off.

end of story.
course your emotions wil have to be but aside and you will have to be a ruthless btard for a while, but if not you may loose everything.
this is a brief outline, it is however a litle more complex.
a lawyer may help you with the finer details.
but she will not give you anything if you start asking for the existing house etc to be in your name

[Mack111]

sorry to hear about this, i'm sure someone on here can perhaps help from personal exsperience or it might have happened to someone friends etc.

i hate to say this but i think you will have to be pretty ruthless if you want some of your cash back mate, you can still be ruthless and be nice at the end of it by giving her money to make a life for herself

[SHADOW]

Spitlid's reply may seem excessive but may be your only option. I know of one guy who doesnt know his gardener is his wife's husand, and another guy who went to the shops to get some milk and came back to find his clothes in the street. If you bought the house before you were married and put it in her name it's hers, however if you bought it after you will get half in a divorce court, this will take only a couple of months, the court will set a date to dispose of the house. Then say you have a buyer ready who will pay her say 750,000 (don't know how much your house is worth) and buy your house back in a year you will have got your money back.

[Mahalo]

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.
...
I have to admit that this name is a pseudenim; I am registered under another name.

People change. Even if you find a girl who is truly different, she has a family, she has friends, and there is a general culture and pressure to save face, even if that means changing personality, others can encourage extreme actions they might not take themselves.

Relationships bring intimacy and in that intimacy, contempt erupts. It is possible to heal relationships, but as that usually means admitting and correcting your own faults, one or both sides will sabotage the relationship, blame the other, and take whatever they can.

Our ideas of romance are a trap.

Avoid pregnancy. It is the typical icing on the cake at the stage you describe.

And I am worried about this pseudonym comment. Just the one post? Why do I feel I am replying to empty air? Hello?

[buksida]

Avoid pregnancy.

Dammit ... why wasn't I told about this?

And I am worried about this pseudonym comment. Just the one post? Why do I feel I am replying to empty air? Hello?

We could be feeding the trolls here, stranger things have happened!

[Guess]

We could be feeding the trolls here, stranger things have happened!

My first impression also. However some good ideas have surfaced. For anybody who gets in the position of thinking that they are about to be ripped off make sure you are one step ahead at all times. I agree with Lusty that getting an Eagle on the case would be burning your bridges for little chance of success but also see the reasoning behind Split ID's rather ruthless approach and when tackling con artists, that is exactly what is needed.

BTW I have seen nothing to indicate that the entire scenario is not just Paranoia on the part of the OP. Also a poster with a second pseudonym (watch the Ts & Cs) and a wife with two kids and currently living in the UK with a house in the Thai wife's name in Hua Hin kinda narrows it down a bit. Anyway I think some good advice has been given. Make the right choice. You will only get one shot.

BTW2

What is all this pregnancy bit. Is that the latest scam. Seems to be happening all over the town. Does anybody know what steps are needed to avoid it. I don't want it happening to me.

[redzonerocker]

yes agree, a lot of useful information here & i'm sure all the people who have read these replys will have learned something, whether its a troll or not.
if it is true story then i can understand the reasons for him wanting to stay anonymous.

[anothermug?]

Thanks everyone for their constructive replies they are a great help to me, I am reading with interest and taking it all in.

I am still not sure if I am being taken for a ride, I met the young lady, fell in love and she wants for nothing. I thought we were happy together, we have a beautiful home, a good standard of living and the kids to go to school - and I am happy with all that. When I pass on to the beach in the sky she would get a pension from my employer (the UK Government) for the rest of her life.

She told me last night that when we get back to London on Sunday after visiting Paris, she wants to go back to Thailand and wants a divorce. I can either sell the house or keep it, she will start again.

It could be that I have got her wrong, maybe she isn't trying to rip me off, she may be genuinly unhappy with me and wants to re-build her life. Maybe she is trying to rip me off I really don't know, but I love Thailand and especially Hua Hin, and I want to re-build my life there as well.

As for the pseudonym it is a genuine attempt to save face.

Thanks again for everyones support and guidance.

[lomuamart]

Why don't you come here and live it?