OUCH

[lomuamart]

A Bangkok painter and decorator has been arrested for falsely imprisoning two young Thai men.
He claims that the boys, who he had been taking care of in his house, had stolen 130 baht from him. He fired them.
Later, he found out that 1,000 Baht was missing from his wallet and his ATM card had disappeared. 50,000 Baht was withdrawn from an ATM - his savings for a forign holiday. The relevant bank had video footage of the boys withdrawing the money.
The painter filed theft charges against the accused. He then lured them back to his house, saying the real culprit had been found.
Here, it starts to get nasty. He sent one of the boys out on an errand and managed to get the other boy to allow himself to be handcuffed (this was supposed to prove the boy was innocent) and then tied up with wire. The second boy returned and was tied up as well.
After some time, the painter decided to cut the left ear lobe of one of the boys. He then cut the penis off the other. Deciding that the punishments were a bit lopsided, he cut the other boy's penis off as well.
Both boys protested their innocence, so the painter threw the penises into a nearby canal.
Local residents alerted police after hearing screams from the house and the painter was arrested.
Amazingly, one of the boys says he bears no grudge against the painter. The accused assailant insists that the punishment befitted the crime.
Now, there's an example of summary judgement. An eye for an eye - or in this instance, something else!!

[Heebio]

The muslims would've chopped the boy's hand off. Wonder what the painter would've done if he's caught them roastin' his missus?

[PeteB]

If he came from Edinburgh:-
Charged him 50p to £1

If he came from Glasgow:-
Gave him a "kiss"

If he was French:-
Painted his picture (then commented - in the French language only)

If he was from Portugal:-
Wrote a Fado

If he came from Holland:-
Puffed a joint

If he came from UK:-
Asked David Blunkett if he had "seen" the flagrant abuse of human rights and then appealed to Europe that his personal rights were being violated - but only after checking with "Claims Direct" to ensure that he had a case. Gone on a binge, got smashed out of his mind and then blamed every other culture (but only in English) - because British is best

If he came from Germany:-
Put two towels on his sunbed - just in case

If he came from Italy:-
Surrendered (or paid a ransom) just in case he was next

If he was American:-
Blamed any passing Iraqui/Muslim/Egyptian/Pakistani/Middle Eastern (from Africa to Asia) person (especially if they wear a turban)

If he came from Thailand

would depend if he had kids and run a restaurant you really can get away with murder.

(unless he was, in any case, a policeman or related to a policeman)

...................or perhaps have taken some alternative action?


Any other non-racist, non prejudiced ideas?

/Peter

[Heebio]

I'd have charged then a fiver a skull mate.

But if I was Swiss I wouldn't say a word and if I was Irish I'd pour em both a drink.