Leaving a bar

[malcolminthemiddle]

If the intention is that you want the girl to stop working and leave the bar permanently, paying the bar a lump sum "leaving fee" is common practice.

The reasons being are twofold.

(1) It shows you respect her and the bar owner.
(2) If the relationship doesn't work out she can return to the bar without hard feelings and the bar will give her her job back.

Regarding a receipt for the "leaving fee" and who gets the cash, I have no idea.

Hope this helps.

[malcolminthemiddle]

Second thoughts.

Asking for a receipt would be at odds with reason 1 above.

I would hazard a guess that the cash from a permanent bar fine is shared in the same way as a temporary bar fine.

[richard]

At the end of the day the farang has been taken for a ride

Mamasan and girl may benefit, Mamasan alone may benefit.

If you get suckered (for want of a better word) you are just dumb or naive

Only met a few who have taken the bait and they were tourists

[malcolminthemiddle]

So resident guy meets gal in bar. After a while they like each other alot. Guy decides he wants the gal to be his regular girlfriend, stop working and move in with him. He follows local culture and pays the bar a nominal 5000 Baht "leaving fine" to keep everyone happy especially the gal. She leaves the bar and moves in. She may or may not get a share of the "leaving fine", he doesn't care but does hope the gal gets a share. Six months later the relationship has broken down and the gal is working back in the bar or six months later the relationship is working well.

At what point was the guy taken for a ride, suckered, dumb or naive?

I would say he was smart first by investing only a nominal amount in a relationship he didn't know how long would last and secondly by understanding and respecting the local culture he made sure he didn't burn any bridges for either himself or the gal in case the relationship didn't last.

But the smartest thing he did was to not ask for a receipt.

[Super Joe]

If the intention is that you want the girl to stop working and leave the bar permanently, paying the bar a lump sum "leaving fee" is common practice.

That's exactly how I've always known it to be. There are exceptions of course, but this seems to be a common 'bar custom'.

The reasons being are twofold.
(1) It shows you respect her and the bar owner.
(2) If the relationship doesn't work out she can return to the bar without hard feelings and the bar will give her her job back.

Again, exactly as I've ever known it.

,,,,,, Six months later the relationship has broken down and the gal is working back in the bar or six months later the relationship is working well. At what point was the guy taken for a ride, suckered, dumb or naive?

I would say he was smart first by investing only a nominal amount in a relationship he didn't know how long would last and secondly by understanding and respecting the local culture he made sure he didn't burn any bridges for either himself or the gal in case the relationship didn't last.

Exactly, and as it is a 'custom' in many bar, then the guy would be taking the girl for a ride by not paying it... because if they split up she can not return to her old place, which she presumably liked, had mates etc. Why would someone want to offend them in any way, don't the bloke and the girl ever wanna go and sit back in there!?
Plus if there's a bit of a scene with some nut asking for a VAT invoice or whatever, then surely that's a bit of a cack way to start the relationship isn't it, making a comotion in front of her mates. They'll find out no doubt. If you want a free transfer, try Bosman's Bar in Tenerife

At the end of the day the farang has been taken for a ride
Mamasan and girl may benefit, Mamasan alone may benefit.
If you get suckered (for want of a better word) you are just dumb or naive
Only met a few who have taken the bait and they were tourists

Yes I agree Richard, but you're talking about a totally different scenario. Ofcourse if it was just the mamasan (generally an employee and not owner) then her & girl would be taking pee. The OP mentions 'owner'.


PS: Is she a big bird littlebird?

SJ

[Pagey]

Yep SJ : Nothing to do with Mamasan, she is an employee only.

[uncle tom]

If you're steady with a BG to the point where you'd like her to move in and become your permanent lass, then you've probably also got to the point where you know the boss of her bar fairly well too.

If the girl is emotionally serious about you, then that will have filtered back to the other girls and her boss, and she'll probably be given a little send-off party (at which you should ring the bell more than once..) and there will probably be no mention of money to the bar.

If on the other hand, her interest in you is purely financial, and your interest is merely to avoid having to buy drinks and pay the bar every single night; then the boss of the bar will want a pay-off. This should be quietly discussed with the boss, and kept amicable.

[Lung Per]

Beware: You can take the girl out of a bar, but you cannot take the bar out of the girl.
And there is a lot of truth to that.

[advocate]

If the girl is coming to live with you for a month or two on your extended vacation, then yes, only fair that you pay, as she will be returning to the trade, and her time is money. I myself would not want to start a more permanent long term relationship by buying a woman. In the end, it's up to you.

[hhfarang]

I myself would not want to start a more permanent long term relationship by buying a woman

Isn't human trafficking illegal in most (if not all) of the world?

[Babylon]

Boyfriend says OK but wants proper receipt for the money from the owner stating what the money was paid for. Owner gets very twitchy and refuses to give receipt for the money.

I can only imagine there is a Thai guy sitting having a beer today, LAO with his mates, going, wow, falangs are so strange and illogical, I had one in today wanted a receipt for his whore!

Anyway IMO you should pay something yes, after all it is a business.

[advocate]

Any relationship that starts off dependant on making monetary payment will continue to be that way. As long as both parties are fully aware that this is a business transaction, then no harm done. The trouble starts when the boyfriend deludes himself that this is not the case and somehow thinks that this is true love. Financial ruin and heartbreak often follow such self delusion.

[johnnyk]

By what law does the bar owner own the girl unless she owes him money? Tell him slavery is illegal and he should FOAD.

[advocate]

The girls are free to leave anytime, either to work another bar, retire, or go live with a falang or Thai boyfriend. When it's a falang, both the bar and the girl see it as an opportunity to cash in. A Thai man would never pay.

[advocate]

I see no problem in paying a willing participant for services rendered, but I cannot rationalize the trafficking of a human being by a bar owner as being customary.