Someone raised the issue of the wai in another thread and I thought it might make an interesting topic, especially for those looking for information before their first visit to Thailand. This is dealt with in innumerable guide books but I wondered if ex-pat experiences could shed new light on the tricky subject of correct wai etiquette!
What does the wai mean?
When and when not to wai?
Who to wai to?
Are there different ways of wai-ing?
Are farangs exempted or excused from such cultural protocols?
etc.
Any takers?
The Wai - etiquette
I'll give it a go to start the ball rolling.
Firstly, I'm assuming that you're not in a situation with Royalty or monks.
Secondly, you're not having to ask for big favours from the police etc. So, a generally normal social situation.
The wai is a greeting and also shows respect.
A general rule of thumb is never to initiate a wai with someone younger than you, or who comes from a lower social position. (The second part's really difficult for me to fathom out, so I stick with age as the pointer).
Certainly, never initiate a wai with a child. Generally, do not wai back if they do to you. A nod of the head is sufficient.
I'm married, so it is expected that I wai my wife's mother and father. I rarely get one back - just a nod of the head and a smile that I've respected their position in the family. I don't wai the sisters who are older than me, but I certainly say sawadii first.
The closer you wai to your forehead, the more respect you're showing. If you do reply to a child's wai, then the hands should be held about chest hight.
And yes, as farangs, we are allowed plenty of latitude to make social gaffs. The thais will be amused and touched that you're making an effort to understand them - unless you're extremely drunk and are waiing the little flower sellers, in which case you'll be regarded as a complete moron, which you definitely are.
There. that;s a start. If in any doubt, don' wai. Just say hello and smile
Firstly, I'm assuming that you're not in a situation with Royalty or monks.
Secondly, you're not having to ask for big favours from the police etc. So, a generally normal social situation.
The wai is a greeting and also shows respect.
A general rule of thumb is never to initiate a wai with someone younger than you, or who comes from a lower social position. (The second part's really difficult for me to fathom out, so I stick with age as the pointer).
Certainly, never initiate a wai with a child. Generally, do not wai back if they do to you. A nod of the head is sufficient.
I'm married, so it is expected that I wai my wife's mother and father. I rarely get one back - just a nod of the head and a smile that I've respected their position in the family. I don't wai the sisters who are older than me, but I certainly say sawadii first.
The closer you wai to your forehead, the more respect you're showing. If you do reply to a child's wai, then the hands should be held about chest hight.
And yes, as farangs, we are allowed plenty of latitude to make social gaffs. The thais will be amused and touched that you're making an effort to understand them - unless you're extremely drunk and are waiing the little flower sellers, in which case you'll be regarded as a complete moron, which you definitely are.
There. that;s a start. If in any doubt, don' wai. Just say hello and smile
Loumart, thanks for explaining what to do and the protocols of where do it. But what is a 'Wai"
Is it similar to the principal of making a handshake when you meet people for 1st time or after that everytime that you meet them.
There was an interesting program here on the TV on when or not to kiss women whenever you meet for the 1st time or after that when you have met for a few times.
There were varying opinions, but most depended on what the persons body language gave to you as a sign of what to do (can be very confusing)
I have been to Thailand for the last 3 years on holiday and am still comimg to grips with what is accepted there.
I have learnt that you do not point at something with either of you feet (I have not yet found the significance to that), and also it is not good to touch people on the head (even if it is in a friendly nature).
I have a bad habit of pointing things out things to people with my feet (especially if they are on low shelves at work).
I always think after I have done it, what I was told in Thailand about not doing it, but no one in Australia seems to get upset about it.
It is strange when you travel what peoples customs are and the strange things that either please or upset people.
I think that if you do offend people and realise it at the time, it is best to make a joke out of the situation and hope for the best. If that does not work, hope there is a taxi nearby to escape in.
Is it similar to the principal of making a handshake when you meet people for 1st time or after that everytime that you meet them.
There was an interesting program here on the TV on when or not to kiss women whenever you meet for the 1st time or after that when you have met for a few times.
There were varying opinions, but most depended on what the persons body language gave to you as a sign of what to do (can be very confusing)
I have been to Thailand for the last 3 years on holiday and am still comimg to grips with what is accepted there.
I have learnt that you do not point at something with either of you feet (I have not yet found the significance to that), and also it is not good to touch people on the head (even if it is in a friendly nature).
I have a bad habit of pointing things out things to people with my feet (especially if they are on low shelves at work).
I always think after I have done it, what I was told in Thailand about not doing it, but no one in Australia seems to get upset about it.
It is strange when you travel what peoples customs are and the strange things that either please or upset people.
I think that if you do offend people and realise it at the time, it is best to make a joke out of the situation and hope for the best. If that does not work, hope there is a taxi nearby to escape in.
It's customary to wai every time you meet.
The head's regarded as the highest part of the body, in every respect including spiritual, the feet the lowest. Hence extrremely rude to point at someone with your foot. A definite no no to a Buddha image or picture of the Royals.
There's a story from a while back of an Australian who dropped a bank note on the street and put his foot on it to stop it blowing away. He was arrested for being disrespectful to The King - his likeness is on the banknote of course.
Maybe a traveller's tale, but it gives you an idea of how seriously these things can be taken.
The head's regarded as the highest part of the body, in every respect including spiritual, the feet the lowest. Hence extrremely rude to point at someone with your foot. A definite no no to a Buddha image or picture of the Royals.
There's a story from a while back of an Australian who dropped a bank note on the street and put his foot on it to stop it blowing away. He was arrested for being disrespectful to The King - his likeness is on the banknote of course.
Maybe a traveller's tale, but it gives you an idea of how seriously these things can be taken.
Can't really add much to what lomu has said but my personal waiing (sp) habits are as follows:
1) Never wai children, waitresses, bar girls, 7-11 staff etc
2) Only wai people of equal age and status in return to their wai (they dont expect it from a foreigner).
3) Always wai elders (family only) or those of higher social status that are familar first.
4) As above but if unfamiliar wai in return if they do so first.
5) If you wai nam ... you'll get wet.
1) Never wai children, waitresses, bar girls, 7-11 staff etc
2) Only wai people of equal age and status in return to their wai (they dont expect it from a foreigner).
3) Always wai elders (family only) or those of higher social status that are familar first.
4) As above but if unfamiliar wai in return if they do so first.
5) If you wai nam ... you'll get wet.
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
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DawnHRD
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OK, Buksida,
I've been here a while, but I'm afraid I'm still a bit confused about the wai. I understand the basic concepts outlined in this thread. But who judges if someone is socially higher or lower than you? For instance I work for a charity (unpaid) & spend a large proportion of my time cleaning up things we won't mention here. Is a 7-11 worker (paid & cleaner job) higher or lower than me? No, I don't wai them.
However, I do often wai bar girls who work in bars that I go to regularly, take care of my son if he comes with me & tell me about their families. Right or wrong? This is a genuine question, not a dig - I really don't get this!
I've been here a while, but I'm afraid I'm still a bit confused about the wai. I understand the basic concepts outlined in this thread. But who judges if someone is socially higher or lower than you? For instance I work for a charity (unpaid) & spend a large proportion of my time cleaning up things we won't mention here. Is a 7-11 worker (paid & cleaner job) higher or lower than me? No, I don't wai them.
However, I do often wai bar girls who work in bars that I go to regularly, take care of my son if he comes with me & tell me about their families. Right or wrong? This is a genuine question, not a dig - I really don't get this!
"The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832
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I agree that this is the most difficult area. Age is fairly easy and always a good indicator to start with.DawnHHDRC wrote:OK, Buksida,
I've been here a while, but I'm afraid I'm still a bit confused about the wai. I understand the basic concepts outlined in this thread. But who judges if someone is socially higher or lower than you? For instance I work for a charity (unpaid) & spend a large proportion of my time cleaning up things we won't mention here. Is a 7-11 worker (paid & cleaner job) higher or lower than me? No, I don't wai them.
However, I do often wai bar girls who work in bars that I go to regularly, take care of my son if he comes with me & tell me about their families. Right or wrong? This is a genuine question, not a dig - I really don't get this!
Social status? I don't really think the Thais expect us to fathom this out. They just seem to know instinctively. However, as a westerner, you're status will usually be perceived by the Thais as being high.
So, to wai bargirls or 7-11 staff is technically a gaffe - both from the point of view of social position and probably age.
A bargirl might be pleased if you waied her as thanks, but a passing Thai on the street certainly wouldn't catch on. If you wanted to be "correct" I would say that it's OK to return a wai in the situation you describe, but not to initiate one.