Why Are There so Many Gay Men in Thailand?

[GLCQuantum]

This is something that I've thunk about from the very first trip I made here twenty years ago.

There's nothing wrong with being actually gay...nothing at all, but in Thailand it seems to be a 'lifestyle choice' for many. There is an extremely irregular ratio of heterosexual to homosexual men in the country. Scrap that actually... I mean in cities in and around around BKK. Up North, I think the guys are all a 'bit of both' and will take anything they get offered. They don't actually present themselves as 'queens' though. Down south, I don't see nearly as many as in the middle of the country.

Having worked in the education system for 11 years here, I've seen first hand how 'gay guys' develop. From being a little feminine in early age, to being downright ghastly by M3...(see below pic)



I have worked in a government school from time to time (have to teach the riff raff now and again. International School man me, but have to put food on the table) and the ratio becomes 50/50 (gay/not gay) in many areas. Most heterosexual boys have dropped out already. Some of the gay guys do tend to study harder here, I'll give them that.

It's just not natural though, is it! Parents encouraging their 12-13 year old child to 'act' gay. Students and parents alike laughing at his antics in school. Friends screaming and applauding when he starts twerking and grinding on the school stage. I've had more than a couple of gay students think it was cool to come on to me. Chat me up. Whilst I am somewhat ravishing, gay guys must learn to show some self-control; Women have managed to do so for most of my 32 years, so I don't see why they can't. No control.

So what is in the water here that turns guys 'gay'?

[JamesWest]

I wonder if there are more gay THAI males here or a more accepting environment. So they are more high profile.

In the states in the 1960s you could get the crap beat out of you for being gay. sort of like Russia today.

I had a friend I knew from when I was five years old. (1960) While I played with very male toys (by choice) he played with dolls and had toys for girls. (his choice). I never thought much about it because most kids or young people at that time did not know about homosexually. He was very tough and real straight in appearance. But he would sing and dance around while the rest of us would set fires and throw rocks and water board other kids. Later he became a chef.

He stayed in the closet and even had a girlfriend. but 25 years later he died of AIDS. It was not until I heard he had died that I thought back on his choice of toys. My point is not many would have thought of him as gay.

Many gay guys are very creative and outspoken. They talk a lot and dress with more style. I have noticed Thais like "goofy" behavior. So maybe they are sort of role models for some of the other kids. Also I think there are many single Thai moms raising their sons without a male role model in the house.

I grew up in Hollywood and I also am very handsome like you, and because I make a effort to dress nicely, I really get hit on by ladyboys. I have to careful because they go crazy and have grabbed me and dragged me into bars before, while I am trying to be nice and leave without getting beat up. I guess I could be combative but I have learned to just say "get your frickin' hands off of me" in a nice way while doing my Psycho Killer look.

[margaretcarnes]

I think if you were to come back to the UK for any length of time you would probably be more aware of an increase in all aspects of LGBT here, and that is likely to be because people are able to be much more open about sexuality now.
The same will apply in Thailand, but there is an extra dimension there IMO, in that people are more able to accept sex as a basic need with no shame or hang ups attached. Someone once said that to a Thai it's like shaking hands.
Whether or not the lack of male role models or any other influences like peer group pressure or media affect kids is open to debate. Personally I don't think the choice of toys or the colour of clothes has anything to do with it. Left to make their own choices there's nothing odd about a girl picking a toy car, or a boy wanting a doll. (There have been plenty of studies which also show that girls will naturally go for pink etc but my jury is out on that. I think parents often subconsiously influence a childs choice.)
But it isn't just Thai men. Thai women seem more inclined to keep their options open while not considering themselves either gay or bi.
That doesn't mean that any Thai persons sexual leanings are accepted by their folks out in the sticks. Far from it. And perhaps the reason you don't notice gays so much down south is because of the high number of muslims there? I'm sure there must be gay muslims but just not out of the closet.
Overall GLC just accept that people will always make their own choices based on how they feel - it's just that in Thailand the culture somehow makes it easier for them.

[Takiap]

I've also thought about this before. During my childhood and during adulthood in my home country I can't recall ever having seen a lady boy. During my 10+ years in the UK I also never saw any, but in Thailand it's a very different matter altogether. I have absolutely no idea what the reason for this is, and neither do I care, but it is puzzling

James West mentioned knowing a young boy who would play with dolls as a kid, and I immediately remembered my most recent visit to a life long friend in Hat Yai a short while ago.

He has a huge property in Hat-Yai with a lawn the same size as a football field. He also had an outside room built for for his kids to play in. This is a "kids only" room where they are free to make as much mess as they want. Since both his kids are girls, this room is typically "girly" and full of dolls and etc. In the afternoons after school loads of local kids (all Thai and some with their moms} arrive at his place and everyone plays in the garden, or in the "kids only" room. The last time I was down there we noticed something rather strange. While his two daughter, my own two daughters, and most of the other little girls were outside playing touch rugby and cricket, most of the little boys were in the room playing with dolls.

So, yes, I don't think playing with dolls means you are destined to be gay, just as playing rugby does mean a girl is destined to be a tom.

[margaretcarnes]

An interesting observation Takiap. And although I know quite a few LGBT people, and totally accept them, it is also only very recently that I've been able to see that not all of the increasing numbers of professional female football players are gay! Far from it.
Maybe some of us of a certain age are still trying to rid ourselves of those pre-conceptions we were raised with.
What does surprise me a bit is that GLC (with respect) at his relatively young age, is questioning the issue of orientation in Thailand. BUT - it is good that he is.

PS well done GLC. Good post.

[limbu]

Another reason why gay men and women are so visible is that they migrate to the cities to meet each other, study and work. Those that get left behind may literally be "the only gay in the village" and destined for a lonely life. So if you live in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Phuket and so on, you'll encounter gay men and women everywhere, often without knowing.
In Hua Hin, the number of gay people seems small to me. The gay online personals carry very few ads for lonely hearts in Prachuab province, whereas there are tens of thousands for Bangkok. Why be a lonely gay in Hua Hin when Bangkok is just up the road?
My partner, twice married with a few kids, had resigned himself to being a single middle age gay man for the rest of his life. But that's changed now that we are a happy couple.

[HHCanuck]

I read years ago that homosexuality in men may be caused by high levels of stress and anxiety during pregnancy. This was backed by the high ratio of gay men born during WWII. It did not conclude that for lesbians though.

With high levels of stress especially to lower income families the theory would fit Thailand. Thai don't like to show their feelings to save face which may exacerbate things. I'm sure its the same in other SEA countries however their cultures are not as accepting of homosexuality as Thai culture especially Malaysia and Indonesia.

[Bristolian]

I read years ago that homosexuality in men may be caused by high levels of stress and anxiety during pregnancy. This was backed by the high ratio of gay men born during WWII.

Women are naturally anxious during pregnancy, and I can't blame them for that!!

Have you found the original article or research. I'm not disputing your statement but if stress was a cause I would expect a much larger increase in more recent times due to a whole myriad of more common stress drivers that we face today.

[Loginbs]

Its the weather.

[HHCanuck]

I read years ago that homosexuality in men may be caused by high levels of stress and anxiety during pregnancy. This was backed by the high ratio of gay men born during WWII.

Women are naturally anxious during pregnancy, and I can't blame them for that!!

Have you found the original article or research. I'm not disputing your statement but if stress was a cause I would expect a much larger increase in more recent times due to a whole myriad of more common stress drivers that we face today.

https://books.google.com/books?id=2V9Uu ... ls&f=false

[booboo]

Having lived here for many years I think there are a lot of Gay Thai Men here, it's just they are not so in your face as in Bangkok or Pattaya, I have a Thai friend who has worked in the Hotel trade here for 10 years, and he says you would not believe what goes on in the Hotel rooms, he reckons 90% of Thai married men will have sex with another man without batting an eye lid, and they don't consider themselves Gay, it's just accepted here !

[HHTel]

"90% of Thai married men will have sex with another man"

That has to be a huge exaggeration. I know lots of Thai couples and I don't believe any one of the guys would cheat on his girl with another man. Another girl?....... that's a different story.

[jvs]

@Jameswest,i hope you are not suggesting only gay people can get infected with hiv?

[GLCQuantum]

@Jameswest,i hope you are not suggesting only gay people can get infected with hiv?

Pretty sure that he didn't...

I think he said that he knew a gay guy that died of aids. Yes, that's right... 'he knew a gay guy that died of aids.'

[Spitfire]

TV could have an influence here as there is always the loud over-the-top ladyboy in so many shows on Thai channels like Channel 3 etc.

This character is almost a national institution and a staple of the slap stick humour based program here. It would not surprise me that the perpetuated stereotypes in regular shows here through this powerful median influence the weak minded and have a social engineering effect to a degree.

Many may choose to be like this as a fashion or means of acquiring identity that is familiar to all here that also creates amusement. Many of these 3rd gender types often change what their orientation is like the weather......one day I'm gay, next week I'm a ladyboy and the week after that I'm goodness knows what because that's too far away in the future to think about.

The university I teach at has it's fair share and some of them turn up dressed as boys (sorry, can't call them men as they aren't) in the male uniform and the class the following week they turn up in the female uniform with hairstyles that could be off a Pantene advert......d'fuq.

No idea what the hell is fly through their minds and many of them find it hard to just shut the fcuk up and listen.

In the end I'd put it down to the TV and a very tolerant society on these things where you really can be and do what you want....so long as you are Thai, I guess.