What is the "typical expat?"

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Handsome Buddha
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What is the "typical expat?"

Post by Handsome Buddha »

I know there'll be a lot of people on here that will be offended by this post, but hey ho.
My question is about the typical expat.
I'll offer a couple of experiences that I've had with regard to the attitude of the British abroad, ones that I've found disappointing.....
I booked a number of golf courses via an agent based in Hua Hin. The service he gave was superb, & each day we played we were picked up on time, & the driver would ask what time we'd like to be collected from the course. He was always there as arranged, & gave service with a smile. We weren't the only golfers he had to transport, & I knew that if I was late for my pick up, then that would delay him for his next collection.
When I played Lake view, I was joined by some Brits from Malaysia, who I met up with in the bar after the game. Although we had a pre-arranged pick up time, their attitude was that if they wanted a few more beers, then he could wait. They were important, the driver was nothing.
The other example is a little closer to home. Some of my relatives spent 3 years working for the UK government in an ex colony. The stories they told on their return of how they had servants(more like slaves) running around after them left me in no doubt why we are so hated abroad.
So, I read with some amusement some of the posts on here, by expats whining about how badly they are treated, or how they get ripped off, & how disgusting it all is.
Just remember, you are a visitor in somebody elses country. And if you met somebody from Mars who turned out to be a complete t**t, you'd think everybody from Mars was the same.
I know that not everybody is the same, but the arrogant few can spoil it for everybody.
If you go somewhere that you consider offer poor value for money, then don't go there again. To whinge about it, or hold a mass demonstration is a waste of time. Just learn from it.
So, how does the typical expat view their hosts? :|
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caller
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Post by caller »

It would help if you could define a typical expat?

I'm not a golfer, so puzzled why you included those in your example, or is it a rant against golfers?

My sister once had a much loved amah in HK, not sure she would count as a slave?

My mum once cleaned for a nice lady whose husband was something in the canadian embassy in the UK and waited at receptions, formal, or otherwise, that they held at their home and I loved looking after their dogs when they went away. Does my Mum count?

But otherwise some examples would be helpful of others than your family, who lived abroad for 3 years, that acted in such a way? Where, when?

I'm not apologising anymore for what happened at least 2 generations before me.
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Post by Handsome Buddha »

Nobody needs to apologise. What's done is done.
What annoys me is the attitude displayed by some of the people who live abroad today.
The golf example wasn't about golf, it could've been any event. Let's put the boot on the other foot....if your job was to ferry around some guys, & they said you should be there at 6pm, & when you turned up they expected you to wait aeound until 7pm so they could carry on drinking, wouldn't you be pissed off? Why didn't they just say pick us up at 7pm?
Just stikes me that there are a lot of people who want to be treated like they're something special when it suits them, but get the benefits of being a local when it doesn't.
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Post by STEVE G »

Having read both of the above posts, I can see both points of view. I worked for over six years in Indonesia and employed several local ladies during these times to cook and clean the house.
This is completely normal there and all the local people who can afford it have staff. In fact not to employ staff if you can afford to do so is looked on very poorly as it provides much needed employment. I was told by the people working for me that working for Europeans was much preferred as the rich locals would have them working all day long, and would make them clean things endlessly just to keep them busy.
This is all well and good, but it is true that some ex-pats let this go to there heads, and start acting like lord and master. Some of the worst offenders are non-working expat wife’s, some of whom were employing cooks, maids, gardeners, drivers, and security guards; and then acting like the Duchess of Kent.
One ex-pat manager I knew was absolutely amazing, he sacked an Indonesian cook for not being able to make shepherds pie, and couldn’t understand when I told him he was out of order. Another time he sacked his driver for refusing to do an illegal U-turn on a motorway!
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Post by caller »

Steve,

Would you count the ex-pat wife and manager as typical ex-pats or not?

I just think its an impossible question to answer?

I spent 20 years with a Sunday Morning football team - the bit about pick up times and drinking was the norm, not sure there many ex-pats amongst us?

A few wannabees maybe???
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Post by DawnHRD »

Handsome Buddha,

I assume you're referring to the thread where the guy felt he paid too much at the beach shack. I was one of the ones who suggested the "mass demonstration" you're referring to. I think you perhaps took the posts too seriously. The suggestion for an HHAD picnic was completely tongue-in-cheek, just meant to raise a smile, as were some of the other suggestions.

I can't speak for anyone else (I'm not qualified to comment on others' actions or motivations), but I'll tell you about my personal experiences. I lived in an ex-colony (HK) for 7 years. I lived in a very small flat, but had 4 dogs, so had 2 live in maids, over the 7 years. Both were from the Philippines. One left to get married. Her successor used to sit with me in the evenings, watch TV, play monopoly (or similar), drink a glass of wine & talk. The previous girl had preferred to sit in her room; she felt uncomfortable sitting with me - her choice, not mine. Both girls have kept in touch with me. I wouldn't call that slavery, but maybe some might.

Living here on a limited budget, I do object to being ripped off more than is necessary. Of course, as Westerners, we pay more, but, I feel aggrieved if somewhere I go to regularly suddenly overcharges (and it has happened). Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I think it just makes me human. I personally, try not to treat people in a way I wouldn't want to be treated. However, this strange personality trait of mine tends to mean I want others (no matter what nationality, or in which country) to treat me decently too. :|
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Post by DawnHRD »

BTW, in HK I wasn't a stay-at-home wife. I worked 6 days a week (same as my maids) and was out of the house (work & travelling) 12-14 hours every day. :)
"The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832

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Post by STEVE G »

Caller wrote:
Would you count the ex-pat wife and manager as typical ex-pats or not?

Hi Caller, the typical ex-pat in Thailand is very different from the extremes I was describing, and I haven’t come across that kind of thing in Thailand, although I’m sure there’s a few in Bangkok.
Of course it is always wrong to generalize as everybody is different, and there are good and bad people in all parts of the world. The manager I was describing was an idiot through and through; he is now living in Lancashire and I’m sure he is making a big a fool of himself there as he was abroad!
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Post by Bamboo Grove »

Handsome Buddha, the life of a tourist and the life of a expat are not the same. You pay handsomely as a tourist and get what you pay for. Many of us, on the other hand, live like Buddha in his later years, not wanting to indulge on extravagancies and so warn each other about the things we feel are rip offs. I'm sure in your own country you would not choose to go to a place that you feel is ripping you off and would warn your friends about that as well. I don't consider that as being arrogant. We all live our host country and most of the people who live here but when we feel we are taken for a ride, IMHO, we do have a right to rise against it. Don't you think? What DawnHHDRC has told us above describes the situation perfectly well.
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Post by buksida »

Totally agree with BG above, there is no such thing as a "typical expat", everyone is different. You will find arrogant people with no respect in every country and from every nation, singling out one nationality is just a bad generalization.

On a personal note however I do find it offensive when I am treated like a tourist and charged over the odds. I live and work here, I pay my taxes, and I don't earn western salaries so why should I be treated the same as someone who does earn western salaries and has money to burn for two weeks just because of the colour of my skin? This is pure ignorance IMO.
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Post by JW »

Handsome Buddah,

I agree with the jist of what your saying, its basically a lack of respect shown by a minority of people not just here but the world over. I have been involved in exactly the same situation after golf, here and back in the UK , a couple of members of the group have ordered beer after the driver had arrived - crappy behaviour. It was basically because they could afford to pay more to the driver even if it does disrupt his schedule.
In fairness, the tour operators usually have overtime built in because they are well aware of this problem, doesnt condone the behaviour though.
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Post by Burger »

Over-charging/ripping off of foreingers goes on the world over. Doesn't make it right, but it is a fact of life. They should distinguish between those that clearly live here, ie: speak a bit of Thai, and those that are clearly tourists and fair game IMO.

We (speaking for Brits) do it back home when our cabbies charge Japanese tourists/businessmen 120 pounds for a 50 pounds cab ride into London from Heathrow.
Our ice cream sellers then take over after they get out the cabs and rip them off for ice creams and drinks.

I guess it's up to us all to know enough of the language to say "I'm very sorry sir/madam but I'm not paying that much for 'X' as you're over-charging me, you
greedy-thieving-robbing-dirty-scumbucket-sonofawhore"
Or words to that affect.

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Post by hogus »

Burger wrote: you
greedy-thieving-robbing-dirty-scumbucket-sonofawhore"
Good one, Burger :D :D :D

Please, give me the exactly translation into Thai, and it will be my pleasure to invite you for a couple of drinks, if we meet someday !

:cheers:
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Post by Surf FM »

Handsome Buddha, I guess my post about the expensive food at beach shack has in part inspired your post.

Just to put the record straight, my post was supposed to be tongue in cheek, not a serious moan or dig at Thais. Overpricing foreigners will always happen, and most us accept it as being a part of living here, but it can wind you up a bit in certain circumstances.

Not sure about the 'typical expat', there are idiots and nice people in all walks of life aren't there?
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Post by Super Joe »

Seems to me that most of the people on this forum are "brits". I,ll bet that they all come from south of Hadrians Wall and probably are from close to the London area as in my experience they are all a bunch of moaning pricks.
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