Help on girl front

[Fugazi]

Hi all , recently returned home from a great 6 weeks in HuaHin , many thanks to all for some great hospitality.. love that place .
Met a crackin girl there for the last 10 days , an spent a lot of time with her , she's not a bar girl , but has a small food stand off Bindabaht , now Im no fool, an know the story with Thai women , and she may have worked bar before , but Im hearin since she may have Thai man etc. As i said im no fool , its my 4th time to Thailand, but was quite struck with this girl, an she seemed honest and up front , and i actually believed most of what she told me ... now id be interested in hearin you regulars there thoughts. Or is there any way of checkin out this girl ?.. im thinkin of coming back in a few months to see her again , but wanna be sure on things.
Thanks in advance.
B

[Wanderlust]

Hi and welcome to the board. The only way you can be 100% sure would be to hire a private investigator (unless you happen to know someone in Hua Hin that you trust and can do some digging for you). After only 10 days together that would seem like an extreme thing to do. I would suggest that you treat the fledgling relationship as a holiday fling, unless you are planning to come and live here or at least stay for an extended period. She might well be everything you hope for but the odds are against it, so i guess it depends on how much of a gamble you are willing to take! One thing to remember is that although the bar girls are the obvious candidates to be wary of, this does apply to girls who work elsewhere too; if this girl appeals to you, you can be sure there will have been some other farangs interested as well, and you have to see things from the Thai girl's perspective - you are a tourist who she will probably never see again. Good luck whatever you do but my advice would be to remember the fun time you had and only consider pursuing things further if you are going to be here for several months every year.

[Big Boy]

Fugazi,

I'm afraid its extremely hard to take such a question seriously.

was quite struck with this girl, an she seemed honest and up front

i actually believed most of what she told me

she may have Thai man

is there any way of checkin out this girl?

She is honest, and you believed her, but she may have a Thai man and you need to check her out

Asking such a question on an open forum, you must realise that you are leaving yourself open to a series speculative statements about a girl that only you know. Do you really want this girl rubbished in front of the world?

Experience tells me that you will not get many positive responses.

Or is it a case of

Probably.

[Super Joe]

but Im hearin since she may have Thai man etc.

Go ahead and take this genuine decent girl away from her Thai man and he may just take away your nose off your face.

Be careful.

[sargeant]

She may well be a nice girl i can agree with that statement i can even agree with all other statements except one quote (i am no fool) i am afraid asking the question in the first place and in the way you did belies that little gem

[Rider]

Fuggy,

Treat it like two ships passing in the night and move on, Thailands a big place with plenty more fish swimming about

[GLCQuantum]

To be honest you can't put it much better than Wanderlust already has.

You have already stated that you are no fool, so why would you be considering risking things on a 10 day relationship. Whether she was a bar girl or not, unfortunately working around that scene seems to install a permanent scar, be it physical or mental.

I have a few friends ( bar girls, ex bar girls, cashiers etc ) in that area, and however nice they are, the habit of thinking and talking "bar style" doesn't seem to fade. However saying that, you always have the possibilty of finding "that one" so don't listen to me anyway!!

[Big Boy]

GLC,

I'm 99.9% certain that this guy is a wind up merchant. How many guys with a morsel of intelligence are going to find a girl they think they have a future with, and then put their future to a public vote on an open forum?

Whether she's a (ex) Bar Girl or not, if he thinks he's found the right girl then he should decide on where the relationship is going for himself, not open it up to opinions from a bunch of strangers.

At the end of the day, having worked as a Bar Girl should have nothing to do with it. If they make each other happy, then that's what counts. He could pick a girl in any bar anywhere in the world, and get along with her great. He wouldn't necessarily know that she is the local bike. What's happened in the past should have no bearing on it (unless she is carrying some exotic disease).

I still maintain

[GLCQuantum]

You're probably right about the "wind up merchant" thing, but either way it's a topic which, as said before, could be happening to many other first time plonkers who fall in love within the bat of an eyelid!

It doesn't happen so often now as 'most' people coming here are wised up to the situations involving bar girls or 'not' bar girls, but there are still the few out there who are clueless to the LOS who could do with some info

[Fugazi]

Big boy ,
I think you seemed to misread my question , I never said anything about putting her or any "relationship" as u say
[quote="Big Boy"]GLC,
to a public vote on an open forum?

All I asked was on peoples advice who see this thing day in day out , no wind up , it was a genuine question about what really happens .
I did find some peoples replies helpfull , and yes maybe I do need to "wise up" , I've been around the block a few times , and know the score in my world , but Thailand is VERY different from that , and even though ive been there a number of times still find it difficult to sort the bull from the real !
And cotrary to what you might think , im no first time plonker who falls in love at the drop of a hat , ive had a lot of good times in Thailand before , and spent time with girls there that I know there is nothing more than a holiday fling with , just this girl I thought was slightly different , and believe me I no way want to question her or her personna in a "open forum" or as u say " want this girl rubbished in front of the world?" , it was a general request for people in the "know" s opinion.

[Big Boy]

Fugazi,

If your question is genuine, then please accept my sincere apologies.

However, as I said in my first response, experience has shown that you will be leaving yourself open to speculative statements about you and your girlfriend by people who know absolutely nothing about either of you.

In my last post is said:

At the end of the day, having worked as a Bar Girl should have nothing to do with it. If they make each other happy, then that's what counts. He could pick a girl in any bar anywhere in the world, and get along with her great. He wouldn't necessarily know that she is the local bike. What's happened in the past should have no bearing on it (unless she is carrying some exotic disease).

A lot of Farangs marry girls who have previously worked in a bar, and are still living very happily together. In my personal opinion there are 2 types of bar girl:

1. The good time girl who is thoroughly enjoying the life, but would never hack it as a decent wife.

2. The girls that have had a failed relationship, absolutely hate Thai men and are looking to trap a Farang to take them away to where the grass is greener.

Obviously, your first check is to ensure that your girlfriend falls in to category 2.

Even that is not always proof - some of them lie To find out if your lady comes from a true Thai upbringing, ask her to cook you a Thai meal. Something else that I've learnt (as a general rule) is that only the girls who truly fall in to category 2 can cook. If she can cook you an honest Thai meal, it is a good rule of thumb that she is genuine from a poor background, looking to better herself.

At the end of the day, it is only you who can decide - please don't be swayed too much by any adverse comments that you receive.

One last thing, be weary of the Private Investigator. I've known people hire a Private Investigator (PI). The PI will, if you pay him enough travel to the girl's village to ask the appropriate questions. The people he will ask will include those who will be hoping to jump on to the gravy train when this girl marries a Farang, and will already be planning their first disaster.

I wish you luck my friend, but please think this through yourself, or with some friends who know you both. I don't know either of you, and I don't suppose anybody else on this forum does.

[Super Joe]

Fugazi,

Why on earth are you asking total strangers who do not know this lady for opinions.

Spend a few holidays with her and make your own mind up, you sound like a 14 year old naive kid.

[Fugazi]

Thanks again guys , no im no 14 year old who has been duped ! im a 38 year old who was taken by surprise with how i was !" heart on my sleeve " taken with this girl , an thats coming from someone who is as suspicious of everyone i ever met because of past experiance.
Thanks for the advice , thats all i required , i wasnt expectin to b writin a message like this 7 weeks ago , was only there 4 fun , but got more than i wanted ..... i kno 2 well that only i can make a decision , but all i wanted was some help in it , thansks again ...
B

[huahinsimon]

It's OK guy. Shit happens, so does looooove!!! or infatuation. It's a chemistry thing, ya just can't help it!!

Maybe your post was not well constructed for meaning, emotion can do that. but you dont need to be taken to the woodshed.

Come on back, take her to Krabi or some nice place for a week or two or whatever and see how things go.

Odds aren't in your favor but hey at the racetrack long shots pay off handsomely. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. or as Wayne Gretzsky said You always miss 100% of the shots you never take.

But do see if she can cook. I like that test!

HHS

[Roel]

Having lived in Pattaya for quite a few years I noticed that there is a huge trade going on outside the bar scene. Girls who come to Pattaya obviously in order to secure a financially sound future but choose not to work in the bars. They get themselves a job for instance in a restaurant frequented by farangs or in one of the shopping malls selling T-shirts and one day the obvious will happen a farang interested in a non-bargirl will take the bait. And guess what: There are good ones and there are not so good ones amongst these girls. Same same bargirls basically. Same risks involved I guess.