This should upset a few people

[niggle]

Below is a copy of an article in the Daily Mail (UK). Now read it and exclude all the obvious parts that are only relevant to the author and Spain
As it's revealed 75,000 Britons are emigrating every year one expat warns how escaping to PARADISE can land you in HELL
By Alison Smith Squire
Last updated at 10:27 PM on 01st October 2008
For many Britons, facing spiralling food and fuel bills and the prospect of a long and rainy winter, the idea of emigrating must seem tempting.
But is sitting in the sun for years on end really such bliss?
Lynnette Evans, 50, a divorcee who runs a property letting business, has lived in Spain for eight years.
Now sick of the shallow and listless lifestyle of the expat, she tells ALISON SMITH-SQUIRE why there's no place like home.
The sun shines almost every day of the year in Puerto Portals, the chic resort on the Spanish island of Mallorca which has been my home for eight years.
Generally, my routine goes something like this: after a morning of doing precisely nothing, I have a lazy lunch with my shopping partner June, who happens to be Simon Cowell's sister and is a fellow expat. After that, I probably have a siesta before heading out to a party in the evening.
Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? But if I'm brutally honest, I long for my old way of life in rainy old Britain.
After nearly a decade, I am heartily sick of sunshine and shopping. Credit crunch or not, there is nothing that can replace art, culture and that laconic Pete and Dud-style British humour that is so lacking on the Continent.
Most days in Puerto Portals I amble between my apartment and the beach, or perhaps wander past the port (a floating millionaires' row of stunning yachts) or the many little bars where I might spot one of my many celebrity neighbours such as Cynthia Lennon (John Lennon's first wife.)
It was fun to begin with, but now I feel unfulfilled - as though an existence here is simply pointless.
I laughed out loud when I read that more Britons than ever are moving abroad. They just don't know what they are letting themselves in for.

And the issues for expats are the same the world over: the sheer mind-numbing ennui; the lack of close family nearby; living cheek-by-jowl with the same tight-knit social set month after month; and, above all, the feeling you are never quite at home, whether because of language or custom, or even something as simple as hating the horrible long-life milk you have to put in your tea every morning.
If I'd known eight years ago what I know now, I would never have left Britain. But at the time, like millions of others, I was fed up with my daily commute to London where I worked as a legal secretary, my life was in a rut and I wanted a change.
My home in Bexleyheath, Kent, had risen enormously in value and I realised that if I sold it, the life I dreamed of could be mine.
So in September 2000 we arrived in Puerto Portals and moved into a luxury Spanish apartment surrounded by a fabulous swimming pool.
I would say it was my son Chris's first day at private school that made us both truly realise what a massive lifestyle change we had made.
His school had 26 different nationalities in it - the majority of pupils coming from families of vast wealth.
Amazingly, some kids were sent to school, decked out in the newest designer gear, with a few hundred euros in their pockets simply to buy themselves a pizza at lunch.
One boy lived in his own flat near the school. His parents occasionally popped over to visit from the States. He was 15.
I would take Chris to sleepovers in vast, white-washed mansions surrounded by high, wrought-iron gates which would swing as the CCTV camera announced our arrival.
Looking back, it was also an introduction to what I grew to dislike about Mallorca - the shallowness of many people and their lifestyles, which are about money and little else.

Paradise lost: Leonardo DiCaprio in the film of Alex Garland's fictional novel The Beach about an a supposed idyllic expat community in Thailand which goes horribly wrong
Another clue was the way all my son's friends clamoured to stay at our apartment. It was nowhere near as grand as their fully-staffed mansions, but to these teenagers it felt like a proper home because many of them barely ever saw their wealthy parents.
At first, though, I was taken in by the glamour of my new life.
Puerto Portals is a small place - only 2,591 residents - and I estimate at least half of them are expats. And as everyone knows everyone, one invitation simply led to another.
Lunch parties are an everyday occurrence. By lunches, I mean gettogethers at one of the many restaurants that line the beach, starting at 1.30pm and rarely finishing before 6pm.
Then there are the evening 'dos' - I would be invited to at least three a week. Often, they would be held on board one of the luxury yachts permanently moored in the harbour.
More often than not, their owners were elderly and unattractive men with a beautiful - and much younger - woman on their arm.
The place is all about image. I have no idea where I will store the 50 or so bags, dozens of evening dresses and numerous shoes I have accumulated when I return to the UK - but dressing up is an important part of life in Puerto. You simply don't slum it.
Cosmetic surgery is the norm. I didn't succumb, but I had many friends my age who did. They felt they had to compete with the younger, beautiful women who you see here all the time.
It was common for an acquaintance to drop out of the party scene for a few days only miraculously to reappear looking better than ever (although it wasn't the form to ask why).
Looking back, I blame myself for being blinded by the sheen of glamour that surrounds the place. It's only with time that you realise just how shallow it all is.
Many of the people are nice enough, but conversations about how much money they have become so boring after a while. I think that's why in Mallorca, like scores of other expat haunts around the world, alcoholism (and other addictions) is rife. After all, what else is there to do all day?
One neighbour of mine squandered £60,000 of savings in six months on slot machines. She'd never had a gambling problem until she was left with endless empty days to fill here.
And then there are the seemingly trivial home comforts that you really miss. For example, the supermarkets here are erratic, stocking your favourite shampoo one week, but not the next.
Good sausages and English bacon are virtually impossible to come by, as are decent tea bags, and the dates on fresh milk are pointless - it all goes off within hours - so you are forced to buy the unpleasant longlife milk instead.
I long to be able to go up to London and just stroll round a gallery or see a new play.
But there's nothing like that here. If I try to discuss a book, I tend to be met with blank looks because most people here would rather spend their time having their hair done than improving their mind.
Even all that sun is a very mixed blessing. You can tell the Britons who've lived here for decades - their skin is the colour of deep mahogany and their abundant wrinkles mean they often look decades older than they really are.
I know of people in their 60s who can never go uncovered in the sun again because their skin is so damaged that they're prone to cancer.
The red tape here has to be seen to be believed - nothing can be done over the phone - and working here is rife with problems. Rules are there to be broken, it seems, as everything Spanish is corrupt.
Jobs, when you can find them, are very poorly paid and the wages don't always appear on time. Many payments are also made in cash - fine, until you reach pensionable age and realise you have no money.
Thankfully, I did keep a smaller property in the UK, in Bexleyheath, which is rented out. I have since remortgaged and am returning to a flat I have bought just outside Worthing, West Sussex. I can't wait.
Visiting my old friends in the UK also made me realise their lives were so much richer than mine. They were all my age - early to mid-50s - but they were involved in local drama groups, many were working in good jobs and some were setting up their own businesses. Most importantly, their days were full of purpose.
Even the cool British weather was welcome. I'm sick of the heat and humidity in Spain - it is incredibly oppressive and leaves you exhausted.
When I came back to Puerto after the last trip home, I saw it with new eyes. I had a vision of me at 60 with my brain slowly rotting and my skin starting to look like a crocodile skin handbag, and I didn't like it.
I have enrolled myself at a college in Britain learning to teach English as a foreign language - probably to Spanish people in the UK.
I don't regret coming to live in Spain - but only because it has made me appreciate how much England has going for it.
To anyone who is longing to escape the British weather and the current financial gloom, I would say: think very carefully before you book that plane ticket to some corner of the world you think will be a paradise. You might just find it turns out to be hell on earth.

[STEVE G]

Seeing as how I’m at work at a rainy European airport at 05.15 in the morning right now, a life of swanning around parties at millionaire’s villas and yachts doesn’t sound all that bad!

[buksida]

Interesting article, I guess some people take to living abroad and can adapt and others can't - I think the age that you move also has a lot to do with it.

But if I'm brutally honest, I long for my old way of life in rainy old Britain.

Yeah right !!!!

[hhfarang]

I can definitely identify with parts of that article, I do sometimes feel like my life is just wasting away here (especially my mind), and I would love to live somewhere that has four different seasons that are actually recognizable from one another by the climate rather than two seasons that are differentiated only by the number of tourists on the street.

What I wouldn't give for a walk in the snow right now... but alas, as the author warned against, I sold out in my home country, lock, stock, and barrel and committed to this existence by building a mansion here (in my Thai wife's name) with my life savings. That mansion has now become my prison, granted, a very plush prison, but a prison none the less...

[niggle]

I guess my point of posting this article was to encourage honest comments about the expat life style. There is, I believe, a voice that determines anyone to comment on negative aspects of expat life as a pariah and something of a lesser person.
And I think that OK expat lifestyle is for some and not for others, some of us are torn between the 2 (albeit never bieng possible to have the best of both worlds.)
I find particular affinity with the line that says "It was fun to begin with, but now I feel unfulfilled - as though an existence here is simply pointless."
HHfarang - I'm with you 100%
Or maybe I'm alone in this ????

[STEVE G]

I can imagine that if you move to Thailand and are not working you would face the same type of challenge as that faced by people retiring anywhere in finding some meaning to life.
I’ve been living an ex-pat lifestyle in a variety of countries for some years now and I find that having to work a 60 hour week gives you plenty to occupy yourself.

[hhfarang]

I think you're right Steve. I am retired now and since it costs much more to live here than my wife convinced me it would, I have very little disposable income, so I can't travel or do the things I would like to do to occupy a little more of my time. I love golf but it's more expensive here than it was in the states, at least on the municipal courses I played on there.

I lived in Saudi Arabia for many years and was actually happier there even though that country is the armpit of the world. As you pointed out, I had a job then so didn't have so much free time on my hands, and was also flush with cash so when I did have time off I traveled extensively and spent my Saudi weekends under water in the Red Sea.

Here, my days are filled with HHAD, TV, and reading. I know many of you trying to figure out a way to live here would happily trade places with me but after a few years you may change your mind (if the boredom hasn't destroyed it by that time).

[lomuamart]

I agree with a lot of the comments above. When I first came here, I had a bar to "run" for the first 2.5 years. That kept me occupied and nearly killed me with the booze!!
I used to go swimming at Palm Hills 5 days a week. 50 lengths, a light lunch and no beer. I played golf twice a week with the society. As Palm Hills sort of fell by the wayside, I took to walking the beach to Khao Takiab 5 times a week. Occasional swimming at Sport Villa.
Golf's become too expensive for me now - other than playing at some hidden gems of courses on military bases and I never seem to get to the beach or swim any more.
So - boredom. As each day, month, year goes by, it seems to get more difficult to get into the routine of any exercise/hobby. It's got to start soon!!!!
At the moment, there's films, reading, the computer and beer.
The day does pass quickly though. I'm normally up early - 6am ish and go to sleep about 10pm. So, I can't be finding it mind-numbingly boring yet, but I really should start up walking, swimming, something again soon.

[sargeant]

HH & niggle i agree the first question i always ask the people crowing about how good it is is "how long have you been here" You will find that the longer you are here the harder it gets but then it reaches a tipping point and either go home or mellow . Buksi is also correct it does depend on what age you are when you come here . It is also very different between someone working/doing business and someone retired and doing nothing. The state of your health and thus ones ability to do anything is also an aspect to take into account.
I think that i am in some ways fortunate in that when i came 11 years ago i had no bridges back so i may have had a different mindset.Ties to home as a constant reminder must have some effect
Having too high expectations and then being disapointed is also a factor
Lastly dare i say it it also becomes a lot easier if you work at integrating even though soi 102 is always a reminder you are only as in my case a guest

[robby hh]

I have only been here for 3 years so possibly the place hasnt worn off on me yet. Over the first 2 years I had a great time traveling a lot, did Essan for 3 months, down south as far as it is safe to go, Lao, Cambodia and a trip to Singapore to visit friends.
I was always on a budget but travel on trains and buses was cheap and I didnt need to buy a house, car or motorcy.

Now I have a health problem but treatment for that will be finished in 6 months, for the time being I cant do much and there is certainly boredom and the treatment and global financial situation has cut into savings.

When my treatment is over I will have to go back because my Govt in its wisdom wont give me a pension unless I am a resident of the country when I apply. I will probably have to stay for a year but I want to get back here ASAP, why?

It is a matter of what I have here and havent got there, here I have a lady who in spite of the tight financial situation wants to be with me, I have warmth 12 months of the year which I like and there are still many parts of the country I havent been to.

When I go back I plan to live with my sister for a couple of months till I have the pension situation sorted then get a camper van and spend the rest of the time visiting friends around the country.

If I was forced to go back there full time what would I face? I would have to find a place to stay as the old family home is in trust for the kids and the EX is living there, no way would I live with her or even close to her.
I would have winter for a few months of the year, mai chaub.

There would be no lady with me and most of the social life revolves around booze which I gave up over 20 years ago and will never start again.
I can see nothing there except a solitary life in a place I dont want to be and eventually dying a lonley old man as I have seen many others do.

[happyblueyes]

The lady in the article mentions there being 26 nationalities in the school, wait till she sees the schools in britian now !

[migrant]

I'm from the Northeast part of the States so used to the four seasons.

I've mentioned to many of my friends how boring the southern California weather is, sunny all the time.

I also deal with a lot of retired people and like many of the comments here, they talk of the boredom.

Money can't bring happiness is the old saying, well it is good to afford your own brand of misery. As some have pointed out, having enough to travel, golf, etc can be important.

I've often wondered what I'd do in retirement, and am often assured that the time will fill itself, but the article does bring up some points to ponder.

[Cowtown Comedy]

I'm marginally envious of the people that can afford to keep homes in both places, living 6 months in, 6 months out. I think they have a greater appreciation for both countries. I think it's easy to take for granted this tropical paradise when your roots are in deep. I live 100 yards from the beach and i haven't taken the time to enjoy it for a long time. I'm also surprised at some of the wealthier expats who complain about boredom, but they also never take advantage of time and money by seeing more of Thailand and neighbouring countries. Time and Money....what a beautiful combination..

[sargeant]

Migrant that quote "and am often assured that the time will fill itself, "
Has absolutely nothing to do with reality May i suggest you get a notebook and write down things to do each day and how long in hours you can do it without getting distracted. When you have enough in your book to occupy yourself for 7 days 24 hours a day when you retire you should have just enough to fill one day
Many of the things you enjoy when working are because you dont have time to do it but when you stop work for a while its great and then you find it is a bore
If someone had told me i would spend all day growing orchids cooking cakes and stuff and sitting on HHAD (and soi 102) i would have larfed myself silly but nearly all the things i had in my head as i boarded the BA 009 on the 12th Jan 1998 did not last all that long 3 years or so and then i looked for something else Bars and Females dont facinate forever

[hhfarang]

Time and Money....what a beautiful combination..

Yeah, I once had a lot of money, but I worked all the time... now I have all the time in the world, and I'm broke!