Quote niggle OP
There is, I believe, a voice that determines anyone to comment on negative aspects of expat life as a pariah and something of a lesser person.
Quote digger
Great post though,better reread it though do not want to rattle any cages but sure as hell sarge is dead happy.Good luck sir
Way to go digger I take it that was sarcasm
Prooves your point niggle
I am very happy with everything about living (especially my wife and family) in Thailand, Except for my health which would be worse mentally if i was anywhere else It restricts me a lot and has deprived me of doing many things before the 9th hole of Palm Hills. For instance i still have not been able to finish the round let alone go and play a round anywhere else not even the driving range.
I have had to adjust and fill that time which is the point i was making about writing down enough to fill a week so you can ring the changes and NOT get bored as things on the list will fall of off it for many reasons one of the main reasons being too much too often kills its enjoyment
But I am still here I am not going anywhere else and i am still looking for other things i can do Its just a pity it is so warm i could knit myself a jumper
I call a spade a spade i tell it as i see it
This should upset a few people
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Cowtown Comedy
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About 3 months ago there was a local campaign to get English speaking adults from HH to volunteer some time in the public schools, not to teach but to merely interact with the children with everyday conversation. Several expats retirees showed a dedicated interest in the program, providing a wonderful solution to expats who were long on time, and children who were short on English language skills. Like many great ideas, this one crumbled like a house of cards once the labour board caught wind of it. WP's were out of the question.
and here I am always complaining because I get no time for myself. I would give anything to have a few days where I never had anything to do........lol.
Seriously though, with the wife at work six days a week and having to look after the two little ones, clean the house, cut the grass, feed the dogs, fetch food for the goat, cook fod, etc, etc, etc, I really don't have any time left. Right at this minute the two little ones have drifted off so I have time to do other chores but its the evenings that I look forward to when I can sit outside and have a beer in peace.
Yes I agree with many of the posts on here and as someone pointed out, how happy you are depends on each individual person and your outlook on life. Back in my own country (South Africa) we have great weather, quite a low cost of living but with very high standards, a very beautiful country but with a crime rate so high one cannot even go out safely after dark. There to people grow old and lonely with nothing to fill there time. During my ten years in the UK I witnessed first hand all the old boys who live for the time the pubs open. Having once been wealthy they now sit old and lonely and the only way to compensate is to head off to the pub. From my own past observations, the situation is much the same no matter where you are but local conditions can make all the difference. I don't hang onto my past and when I moved to Thailand, there was and is no turning back. Sometimes we have to make things work rather than feel sorry for ourselves. Hell, I would be right stuck if I decided I wanted out - I could not even pay for a plane ticket so I guess, now after eight years, I will just have to continue enjoying the Thai life.
If you ever get bored or start feeling down, just go for a drive and seeing the way some Thais drive and the things they do never fails to bring a smile to your face. If you can't laugh then you are way too serious to be in Thailand in the first place.
Just to clear matters up - I don't work, I don't have money and I don't spend my days drinking. At the end of it all, expat life is not for everyone I suppose.
Seriously though, with the wife at work six days a week and having to look after the two little ones, clean the house, cut the grass, feed the dogs, fetch food for the goat, cook fod, etc, etc, etc, I really don't have any time left. Right at this minute the two little ones have drifted off so I have time to do other chores but its the evenings that I look forward to when I can sit outside and have a beer in peace.
Yes I agree with many of the posts on here and as someone pointed out, how happy you are depends on each individual person and your outlook on life. Back in my own country (South Africa) we have great weather, quite a low cost of living but with very high standards, a very beautiful country but with a crime rate so high one cannot even go out safely after dark. There to people grow old and lonely with nothing to fill there time. During my ten years in the UK I witnessed first hand all the old boys who live for the time the pubs open. Having once been wealthy they now sit old and lonely and the only way to compensate is to head off to the pub. From my own past observations, the situation is much the same no matter where you are but local conditions can make all the difference. I don't hang onto my past and when I moved to Thailand, there was and is no turning back. Sometimes we have to make things work rather than feel sorry for ourselves. Hell, I would be right stuck if I decided I wanted out - I could not even pay for a plane ticket so I guess, now after eight years, I will just have to continue enjoying the Thai life.
If you ever get bored or start feeling down, just go for a drive and seeing the way some Thais drive and the things they do never fails to bring a smile to your face. If you can't laugh then you are way too serious to be in Thailand in the first place.
Just to clear matters up - I don't work, I don't have money and I don't spend my days drinking. At the end of it all, expat life is not for everyone I suppose.
Don't try to impress me with your manner of dress cos a monkey himself is a monkey no less - cold fact
This should upset a few people
I was surprised and saddened that some members feel trapped financially and emotionially in Thailand with no stimulation physically or mentaly. Forgive me if this has been mooted before on this forum but is there any way HHAD could become more of a meeting club with activities designed to alleviate boredom, even perhaps become a low level pressure group to resolve small local problems, or would that be too political and against the forum rules?
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Cowtown Comedy
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migrant
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One of the reasons I'm postponing retirement, and move, to Thailand is the fact I don't know what I'd do. Like Sarge said to my repeat of a comment I heard, the day's may not fill themselves.
I like to work, just not as much, and as stressful, as here. But I do like to keep busy.
In my job I see many people when I prepare their taxes. I have a 95 year old client who is physically, and mentally, strong. He keeps a busy excercise schedule, and writes books. His publisher told him no more handwritten manuscripts, they are getting too hard to read, so at 95 he is learning the computer and word processing software.
Another couple retired early at 58, they have very few hobbies and tend to stay home and watch TV. They look like they are in their 70's.
These are extremes, and physical limitations do apply, but I think the secret to a long, happy life is staying busy.
And having a good partner!
I like to work, just not as much, and as stressful, as here. But I do like to keep busy.
In my job I see many people when I prepare their taxes. I have a 95 year old client who is physically, and mentally, strong. He keeps a busy excercise schedule, and writes books. His publisher told him no more handwritten manuscripts, they are getting too hard to read, so at 95 he is learning the computer and word processing software.
Another couple retired early at 58, they have very few hobbies and tend to stay home and watch TV. They look like they are in their 70's.
These are extremes, and physical limitations do apply, but I think the secret to a long, happy life is staying busy.
And having a good partner!
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Guess
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I think that if I had ever given retirement a thought I might have reached the same conclusions. My last time in the UK was convalescing after a serious illness. It was boring, but I was unable to get about due to lack of energy and also lack of funds. Now I am in semi retirement I have no problem filling time. However, I am lucky to have skills that people want so can find plenty of jobs to do. Getting the permission to earn money is the problem here for me.migrant wrote:One of the reasons I'm postponing retirement, and move, to Thailand is the fact I don't know what I'd do. Like Sarge said to my repeat of a comment I heard, the day's may not fill themselves.
I like to work, just not as much, and as stressful, as here. But I do like to keep busy.
If I was in the position to plan and I had a worthwhile job that I enjoyed then I would delay as long as possible. When the time comes I don't think you would have any problem filling the day. As I pointed out to Sargeant, every body is different.
If you are in a position to retire and buy your own house on a reasonable plot of land, can afford internet and transport and can find a hobby or a subject that you would like to study then I believe you will already have your time filled. There are so many things to in the home in addition to watching movies and listening to music. A budding DIY man will always have a job to do.
Outside the house there are plenty of travel opportunities and opportunities to do charitable work. In the charitable work I have done it has always been a problem getting people to help out. I am sure that some people would rather sit at home and complain they have nothing to do.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
Travel is easy and quite cheap especally by bus. A decent clean hotel room with good shower can be had for 300 baht in provincial towns and Thailand is a good sized country with interesting regional differences. Other countries/cultures are nearby and easy to get to.
There are volunteer activities if you look around. I volunteer teaching English in a village and have no hassles with authorities as I am known as "the falang boyfriend".
If you have a Thai wife, go to her mooban now and then and help out. If you're not taking money the villagers won't bust you.
There are volunteer activities if you look around. I volunteer teaching English in a village and have no hassles with authorities as I am known as "the falang boyfriend".
If you have a Thai wife, go to her mooban now and then and help out. If you're not taking money the villagers won't bust you.
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margaretcarnes
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This should upset a few people
Whoa! Great, a nice can of worms opened here and a lot of issues. Just the kind of debate needed to keep the brain cells working and fill the time IMO!
First though - thanks Takiap for a very down to earth philosophy.
Digger - point taken on the Mail. They scrape the barrel even further today if you can be bothered to check it out - Fridays page 15, by one Rachel Royce, (a real person!) ranting about her ex husband Rod Liddles' second marriage. A truly bad reflection on women IMO, and just a sad page filler. Pleased to hear though, and not for the first time, that life in the LOS sticks suits some folks. If you are in touch with Bear please send love.
Garnet and Guess both deal with the angle of work expanding to fill the time available really. Thats true wherever you live. I'm 'officially' retired but do 2 days a week voluntary work which I love. Check on the ageing Mum every week and help with shopping etc. Go to a class. Maintain the garden. Make greetings cards. Fit in the housework somewhere! Try to keep up with current affairs. Advise on a forum for disabled people. Do odd jobs for a Union. Really not enough hours in the day.
As pointed out already by Guess there's always something to do if you are open, willing and able.
I've seen too many people - all men I have to say - work for one employer from 16 to 65, then retire and drop dead within a few months. Hopefully people are becoming more receptive to change, and the concept that they really can have some choice and control over what they do with their lives and skills. Sad though that efforts to set up expat volunteer groups in LOS come up against red tape. Who was it said 'As one door closes another one slams shut in your face' !
First though - thanks Takiap for a very down to earth philosophy.
Digger - point taken on the Mail. They scrape the barrel even further today if you can be bothered to check it out - Fridays page 15, by one Rachel Royce, (a real person!) ranting about her ex husband Rod Liddles' second marriage. A truly bad reflection on women IMO, and just a sad page filler. Pleased to hear though, and not for the first time, that life in the LOS sticks suits some folks. If you are in touch with Bear please send love.
Garnet and Guess both deal with the angle of work expanding to fill the time available really. Thats true wherever you live. I'm 'officially' retired but do 2 days a week voluntary work which I love. Check on the ageing Mum every week and help with shopping etc. Go to a class. Maintain the garden. Make greetings cards. Fit in the housework somewhere! Try to keep up with current affairs. Advise on a forum for disabled people. Do odd jobs for a Union. Really not enough hours in the day.
As pointed out already by Guess there's always something to do if you are open, willing and able.
I've seen too many people - all men I have to say - work for one employer from 16 to 65, then retire and drop dead within a few months. Hopefully people are becoming more receptive to change, and the concept that they really can have some choice and control over what they do with their lives and skills. Sad though that efforts to set up expat volunteer groups in LOS come up against red tape. Who was it said 'As one door closes another one slams shut in your face' !
A sprout is for life - not just for Christmas.
margaret,
i agree, trying to set something up runs into red tape.
my strategy is to avoid the bureaucracy as much as possible, in any country!
they love nothing more than creating swamps, it keeps them busy and allows then to justify their existence.
just my opinion, but i feel the best way is to avoid them and do what you can at a local/friendship/family level and stay away from anything too organized.
i agree, trying to set something up runs into red tape.
my strategy is to avoid the bureaucracy as much as possible, in any country!
they love nothing more than creating swamps, it keeps them busy and allows then to justify their existence.
just my opinion, but i feel the best way is to avoid them and do what you can at a local/friendship/family level and stay away from anything too organized.
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migrant
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Nice thread, it's evolved a little.
I enjoy charity work here, so glad to hear some are busy doing it over there.
I do love to putter around the house, if I have the time, so Guess, I think I'm in some of the same boat as you.
I figure the first few years I'd come back to the states during the tax season, Jan - Apr since there is so much work, then the rest of the year in Thailand will be R & R.
I enjoy charity work here, so glad to hear some are busy doing it over there.
I do love to putter around the house, if I have the time, so Guess, I think I'm in some of the same boat as you.
I figure the first few years I'd come back to the states during the tax season, Jan - Apr since there is so much work, then the rest of the year in Thailand will be R & R.
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margaretcarnes
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This should upset a few people
Very true Johnny. Unfortunately in some places, Thailand included, there is a constant risk of being 'shopped' for perceived work activities.
However, the charitable work persists in HH by means of fund raising. A good example I think is the Golf Societies annual events to raise money for the orphanage etc.
However, the charitable work persists in HH by means of fund raising. A good example I think is the Golf Societies annual events to raise money for the orphanage etc.
A sprout is for life - not just for Christmas.
Seem to remember talking about this topic before...?
People who live in cities want to live in the country and vice-versa. It's part of the human condition to at first be excited about a change of scene/girlfriend/stereo/car then, as you get used to it, for the novelty to wear off and a new stimulus is wanted. Our material culture creates 'desires' and 'needs' that require constantly filling. It's how capitalism operates. Of course this exacerbates our tendency towards restlessness and dissatisfaction.
The trick to being happy is not to look outside but to look within. How many here have tried meditation? I have friends who spend 32 days at a time in a cupboard practicing Vipassana. It's an extreme example... we might ask how can anyone NOT get bored doing it... but in reality they are happy with their lives. We are social animals and like company from time to time but as all these posts allude to, we tend not to like our own company. Our minds are incessantly chattering, it's a kind of madness and we constantly seek ways to escape our thoughts, to self-tranquillize, instead of addressing the underlying cause. US!
There are ways to manage being dissatisfied. You can change the wife, the house, the country. Be an adventurer and womanizer (not that I'm advocating it). Every time you get bored or life seems to have become a test of endurance, then take off. Life is far more interesting but that too can become a drag, we then turn full circle yearning for security and stability.
If you are feeling listless, you know it's probably due to your lifestyle. No exercise, poor diet, too much sex, being over-stimulated by TV, noise, computer games, gambling, booze.
There is an amazing world waiting to be discovered. Yourself. Why do you think the thoughts that you think? Why do you react with anger or joy at particular situations? How in touch with your own body are you? Are your senses dulled? Why?
How would you feel after a two week session on the beach doing Royal Marine training? I can tell you. Fantastic. 70% of psychological problems disappear just through getting physically fit. Go bounce with the ladies in the evening doing their aerobics class.
If you are sick, have you tried another approach rather than simply managing the symptoms with drugs and never actually getting better? I mentioned fasting can cure many problems in a previous thread. There are others ways and they don't have to cost big bucks.
What about a weekly Bridge or dominos, Euchre? club at people's homes with great food first? The host cooks or people bring one dish each. Works well. There is life outside the bar.
The OP was right about people returning home. Some have to but I know from experience that within 2 days of being back in the UK, I'll want to come back to Thailand.
Most people know what they need to do to make their lives more fulfilling. That they don't do anything is due to a kind of low grade and constant depression or ego-attachment. They tell themselves that 'it won't work', or 'I've always been this way' or whatever self-defeating talk they give themselves. Every day they say 'I'll start today' and lapse. It then becomes harder and harder.
No-one else can make me happy. I've had countless encounters learning this hard lesson. I took up yoga, meditation and made lifestyle changes to the extent that I am now able to fill my hours more satisfyingly. When there is nothing to do, it's not a problem. I'm left with myself and guess what? It's not so bad. I don't spend 32 days at a time in a cupboard. It isn't necessary but I have learned that I'm just as happy 'being' as I am 'doing'. In fact I 'm in Thailand to escape all the 'doing',
One technique for lifting my spirits is to sing daft songs. I always wake up and sing in the shower. It's become a habit. When I'm cleaning my teeth, I'm singing... 'I'm so handsome. I'm so handsome, I'm as handsome as handsome can beeeee!!!... (top of my lungs) and other such nonsense. Guaranteed to start my day in the right way.
If I need to remind myself that life outside isn't so bad, I repeat... 'Each morning lean thine arms awhile upon the window-cill of heaven and gaze upon the Lord. Then with that vision in thy heart, turn strong to meet the day'. Helps if the view isn't of the neighbours wall.
There's another technique I sometimes use, 'laughing meditation'. If I wake up grumpy (rarely) I'll look in the mirror, then smile. It doesn't work at first, it's usually a grimace. But I persevere. I start to smile, remember a funny joke or occasion and bring it to mind, then I turn the smile into a laugh, then a belly laugh, then I really start to let rip and laugh like a loon. Crazy laughter... doubled up, as embarrassing as possible... until it hurts. Within 5 minutes the cloud has lifted. It works!
The point is, changing your location is only a temporary fix. Ultimately you need to find fulfilling things to do. Rich man, poor man, we are all the same. If we don't have peace in our home, nothing will satisfy us. If you need family, friends, culture, adult education and are not getting these things here, then perhaps a move is warranted. However, I do believe the secret lies within. Not without.
If anyone wants to learn meditation let me know. Come alone or maybe I'll have a free barbeque followed by a training session. I'll happily teach people a few techniques.
MrPlum
People who live in cities want to live in the country and vice-versa. It's part of the human condition to at first be excited about a change of scene/girlfriend/stereo/car then, as you get used to it, for the novelty to wear off and a new stimulus is wanted. Our material culture creates 'desires' and 'needs' that require constantly filling. It's how capitalism operates. Of course this exacerbates our tendency towards restlessness and dissatisfaction.
The trick to being happy is not to look outside but to look within. How many here have tried meditation? I have friends who spend 32 days at a time in a cupboard practicing Vipassana. It's an extreme example... we might ask how can anyone NOT get bored doing it... but in reality they are happy with their lives. We are social animals and like company from time to time but as all these posts allude to, we tend not to like our own company. Our minds are incessantly chattering, it's a kind of madness and we constantly seek ways to escape our thoughts, to self-tranquillize, instead of addressing the underlying cause. US!
There are ways to manage being dissatisfied. You can change the wife, the house, the country. Be an adventurer and womanizer (not that I'm advocating it). Every time you get bored or life seems to have become a test of endurance, then take off. Life is far more interesting but that too can become a drag, we then turn full circle yearning for security and stability.
If you are feeling listless, you know it's probably due to your lifestyle. No exercise, poor diet, too much sex, being over-stimulated by TV, noise, computer games, gambling, booze.
There is an amazing world waiting to be discovered. Yourself. Why do you think the thoughts that you think? Why do you react with anger or joy at particular situations? How in touch with your own body are you? Are your senses dulled? Why?
How would you feel after a two week session on the beach doing Royal Marine training? I can tell you. Fantastic. 70% of psychological problems disappear just through getting physically fit. Go bounce with the ladies in the evening doing their aerobics class.
If you are sick, have you tried another approach rather than simply managing the symptoms with drugs and never actually getting better? I mentioned fasting can cure many problems in a previous thread. There are others ways and they don't have to cost big bucks.
What about a weekly Bridge or dominos, Euchre? club at people's homes with great food first? The host cooks or people bring one dish each. Works well. There is life outside the bar.
The OP was right about people returning home. Some have to but I know from experience that within 2 days of being back in the UK, I'll want to come back to Thailand.
Most people know what they need to do to make their lives more fulfilling. That they don't do anything is due to a kind of low grade and constant depression or ego-attachment. They tell themselves that 'it won't work', or 'I've always been this way' or whatever self-defeating talk they give themselves. Every day they say 'I'll start today' and lapse. It then becomes harder and harder.
No-one else can make me happy. I've had countless encounters learning this hard lesson. I took up yoga, meditation and made lifestyle changes to the extent that I am now able to fill my hours more satisfyingly. When there is nothing to do, it's not a problem. I'm left with myself and guess what? It's not so bad. I don't spend 32 days at a time in a cupboard. It isn't necessary but I have learned that I'm just as happy 'being' as I am 'doing'. In fact I 'm in Thailand to escape all the 'doing',
One technique for lifting my spirits is to sing daft songs. I always wake up and sing in the shower. It's become a habit. When I'm cleaning my teeth, I'm singing... 'I'm so handsome. I'm so handsome, I'm as handsome as handsome can beeeee!!!... (top of my lungs) and other such nonsense. Guaranteed to start my day in the right way.
If I need to remind myself that life outside isn't so bad, I repeat... 'Each morning lean thine arms awhile upon the window-cill of heaven and gaze upon the Lord. Then with that vision in thy heart, turn strong to meet the day'. Helps if the view isn't of the neighbours wall.
There's another technique I sometimes use, 'laughing meditation'. If I wake up grumpy (rarely) I'll look in the mirror, then smile. It doesn't work at first, it's usually a grimace. But I persevere. I start to smile, remember a funny joke or occasion and bring it to mind, then I turn the smile into a laugh, then a belly laugh, then I really start to let rip and laugh like a loon. Crazy laughter... doubled up, as embarrassing as possible... until it hurts. Within 5 minutes the cloud has lifted. It works!
The point is, changing your location is only a temporary fix. Ultimately you need to find fulfilling things to do. Rich man, poor man, we are all the same. If we don't have peace in our home, nothing will satisfy us. If you need family, friends, culture, adult education and are not getting these things here, then perhaps a move is warranted. However, I do believe the secret lies within. Not without.
If anyone wants to learn meditation let me know. Come alone or maybe I'll have a free barbeque followed by a training session. I'll happily teach people a few techniques.
MrPlum
Last edited by MrPlum on Sun Oct 05, 2008 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
