elinn wrote:Ok guys, something I (being a 22-year old western girl) have always wondered is this: Don't all these fat, ugly western men who are dating young, beautiful Thai girls half their age (or more) ever feel that they are being used? Or am i being narrow-minded thinking that most of the relationships I see like this are not based on mutual love?
Hello Elinn
As you say, this questrion was not pointed in the rigt topic, but still the questrion is asked.
I will try to give you my experience since i came here many years ago. You feel that people get in to a protection status when they answear you, and i think that has to do about the writing and histories that its served in european news for many, many years. Few history is about the good side of living in Thailand, but moustly about the dark side.
I see in one of the nespaper in my country last year, that SOOOO many people get back from Thailand with HIV. I did some maths on that, and it showed that 12 persons out of 116.000 get HIV from being a tourist in Thailand last year. When i know that in a neighbourcity of mine with 12.000 people, 1 naitive person gave 6-8 person HIV, and then the news dont use 1 page on it i, then people get protective about their lifestyle.
You never see what happends if you go to Istedegate in Denmark, Red quarter in Amsterdam, Karl Johansstreet in Oslo, Streets of Stocholm, Red Light area of London and Reeperbahn in Hamburg. We protect our own culture.
I am not together with a young thaiwomen/girl and just have to say what i feel and what i see. Its good that you recall your words about "fat and ugly" but if you look around here in Hua Hun, you see a lot of lucky couple with mixed culture .
The culture in EU has changed in the last 20-30 years. More and more women have higher education, better lifestyle, managed on their own and want to have the free lifestyle to do what they want without a second person to decide the way of living.
The problem in parts of Europe is that after you get to a age limit you cant get in love any more, and suddenly not in a person that is younger than you.
I see if you go to a bar/restaurant/disco in EU and if you are trying to talk to a girl/women and dont look like the ideal man, the women will look at you and put their nose up and pretend that you dont exist. Even if the only thing you had in mind was to get in contact with new people.
For many men its not easy to get in contact with EU women because off this culture. I see to, in my own country that we are very looked and we will not open our doors to starnger. We wants whats safe and hardly dont smile to a person who smiles at you on the street. Its like you have some kind off disease if you smile or talk to a stranger were i come from.
When you come to Thailand you come to a quit different qulture. The people talks to you, smile to you and even want to listen to you. (please, dont think that all people get to know each other in a ladybar) Men as women whants to hear about your life, and if you get good friends you have friends for life.
For a single man who either get divorced or has not been soo lucky to find a women at home, its easy to fall in love with this smiling, caring, lifefull womens.
One other reason why Thaiwomen likes farrang mens is their culture. The Government in Thai, talks a lot about the family culture here now. Its not like what we are used to were mothers and fathers are equal in thaking care of the family and the children. Many Thaimen have little contact with their children and use a lot off the time with friends instead of family. So one reason why Thaiwomen prefare man who is from a another culture is the way they threat their girls/women.
Another thing you should know and think about is that not many off the women wants to work in this ladybar, but many have been thrown out of their homes as young girls without education and have to find a way off living. Some have a child from a earlier marrige or realaitonship and i am shore that You to, will do everything to be shore that your child get food on the table each day.
You also write about the age difference between the man and women/girl. I think that when the farrang is out and having a beer, dining, get together with friends there is not much older women in the restaurant. Therfore its natural that it is a younger girl you will be introduced to. For many off this girl, they dont look at a man who is 40-50-60 as a women like you do, in your culture. An old man.
When i was 20 i think 45 was terrible old, but as the years goes by, you dont get much older in your head, its only the body that shows your age. And the Thaiwomen i been talking to dont see the age as a topic. They see that the EU man is still having a lot of life inside, they give off their hart and they take care off the girl/women and in many times also here family.
So when i see a couples with mixed culture i always have a good smile in my hart. I think that this is 2 persons that is bouth lucky, both find someone to love and the age and the look is not soo important that it is in our culture.
I will end this to take distance from childabuse and i also know that farrang is different as everywere else in the world and not all are kind persons, but this men will not be kind in any other culture either.
Soo let ther be love instead off judging and let age be something you learn from.
Best regards Black Phantom