Displaced?

[Randy Cornhole]

Do any of you ever consider when you fall in love and start lavishing gifts upon your loved one what the long term effect on her can be?

From personal experience it can lead to an almost lepers existance in a small village. With the girl and her family experiencing the full backlash of the little green monster.

Snide remarks and a sudden lack of friends are not unusual as others who are struggling to survive see the girl in question wearing better clothes speaking on a nice phone and eating better food.
Her children have new school uniforms at the start of term with proper trainers, pens and school books...

My gf comes from a very small village in Issan, in fact there are only 4 ferrang males within a 20 or so km radius.

Everything was fine while I was there, but when I had to return home for a few months it began. She now states that she hates it there, and that there are a few (not everyone I must add) that are bad mouthing her on a regular basis, often behind her back.
As a result her parents are also feeling it and to a certain extent so are her kids!

Its pure jealousy i'm sure and in a way I understand it but it still makes me feel sad to think that I am the cause.

Just remember when you take someone back to their sleepy little village and spend a bit of money on her and her family, you could be doing a lot of damage, not only to her but to the whole family and their standing in the village...

[PeteC]

That's a shame Randy, I feel badly for her and you. Don't worry about it too much though, it should pass.

Better yet, all that is needed in the village is a second girl with those advantages and all the problems will disappear, I've seen it happen.

With Mrs. Pete #2 we were the second years ago to build a farang style house in her village. Up to that time family #1 was experiencing the same discrimination as you describe. After there were two, the Puyai actually became interested and decided this was an economic advantage to the village an started to heap praise on both families. Their status increased rather than decreased. Now there are more than a dozen farang built family structures and those families seem to enjoy the respect of everyone.

I don't know if your village is set to grow like that. If not, I guess her misery may continue for awhile. Pete

[migrant]

It's a shame. Sounds like jealousy raising it's ugly head.

Unfortunately it can happen anywhere.

[H2ODunc]

Sorry to hear about your problems Randy. What is the alternative to what you did though? I can see it causing a bit of jealousy if you were the type to ride into town with the Big "I am farang ' attitude but I don't think that is your style. Maybe its something that will pass. Can she not come over there with you for a visit and let things quieten down ?

[STEVE G]

That is a shame Randy, and I’m sure undeserved in your case.
I’ve seen similar things happen before, and to be honest in some cases it’s not surprising. In a village a few kilometers from my partners place, a couple of girls with Falang partners have built ridiculous Bangkok style villas with all those shiny chrome railings that are just going to antagonize the other locals.
My partner has never had problems with this kind of thing, but obviously every village is different.
We keep involved with farming and other rural pursuits and I think this helps keep a connection with the other people in the village.
Also if anyone nearby is desperate for money we’ll try to help out by buying something off them rather than giving hand-outs, which is why our garden is now well stocked and we have a lot of rice!

[Sabai Jai]

Small villages in Easarn don't have a monopoly on Jealousy.

It's very widespread i have observed all kinds of manifestations of the green sickness.

In Thailand if you got some money, everyone wants it - friends, family, neighbours etc. The Mango tree with no fruit suffers least.

i would agree with previous posters, it will pass, their attention will move to something else. Painful keeping a low profile and sitting it out though - Sorry 7 comiserations

Regards Sabai Jai

[baron_wastelanduk]

randy

in my village its much the same although now there are quite a few farang there - the gf is always getting shit from her so called friends and they bad mouth her and her mom - even to the point where one of her mates moms used to use my atm account to transfer money and if she didnt use her fuel to go into town and get the cash immediately she would be called a cheat
it does get better though

[Khundon1975]

Do any of you ever consider when you fall in love and start lavishing gifts upon your loved one what the long term effect on her can be?

From personal experience it can lead to an almost lepers existance in a small village. With the girl and her family experiencing the full backlash of the little green monster.

Snide remarks and a sudden lack of friends are not unusual as others who are struggling to survive see the girl in question wearing better clothes speaking on a nice phone and eating better food.
Her children have new school uniforms at the start of term with proper trainers, pens and school books...

My gf comes from a very small village in Issan, in fact there are only 4 ferrang males within a 20 or so km radius.

Everything was fine while I was there, but when I had to return home for a few months it began. She now states that she hates it there, and that there are a few (not everyone I must add) that are bad mouthing her on a regular basis, often behind her back.
As a result her parents are also feeling it and to a certain extent so are her kids!

Its pure jealousy i'm sure and in a way I understand it but it still makes me feel sad to think that I am the cause.

Just remember when you take someone back to their sleepy little village and spend a bit of money on her and her family, you could be doing a lot of damage, not only to her but to the whole family and their standing in the village...

RC this is a sad situation for you and your GF.

Hopefully it will get better, as the locals get used to the idea that you are just a genuine guy in love with a girl from the village.
Stick with it RC.

[Randy Cornhole]

I thought there would be many similar cases but it appears not so...

I think she is suffering because she is the first from her village but now they see what she has more may follow. Sadly another bi-product of my involvement!!

A funny/sad thing happened when I first arrived. We were wandering through the next village when we happened upon a young mincing Thai boy. He spoke to my gf and she explained to me that he wanted me to teach him English so that he could work as a Katoey in Bangkok...

Sweet lord i'm altering lives here. Its one hell of a responsibility...

[hhfarang]

Randy,

I had a similar experience but after a few years and a few visits it changed. My wife's village (even though we got married there with all in attendance) did not believe it when my mother in law told everyone her daughter had gone off to America with her foreign husband.

Most of the village just thought I had disappeared and the wife was hiding out somewhere else in Thailand in shame and they gossiped and treated her mom badly.

Now, after we've moved here and made many visits to the village and quite a few villagers have come to visit our "palace" in Hua Hin, the rumors and gossip have stopped. There is still some jealousy but things are much better there now and they don't treat the family badly.

In fact, now that they realize my wife is actually married to a foreigner, lived in the U.S. for eight years, and have now come to live in Hua Hin, a lot of the villagers come to my mother in law to ask advice and to get her to ask advice from my wife.

It may get better in time. I don't know if it is in your plans or not, but marriage and lots of village visits (by you) may help.

[Randy Cornhole]

Thanks hhferang for your kind words. Yes marriage is on the cards and I would like to bring her to the UK eventually.

So many plans and so little money...

[Spitfire]

Well Randy, I also know what the 'village lot' can be like and the "green monster" does lurk around a bit too much, agree with HHF there about making trips and being seen. At the moment with you being in the UK and your Mrs isn't, there is much "open ground" for them to gossip and snipe about, you know, money/relationship/all sorts, what they can 'dream up' knows no bounds.

I remember when I went to live in the village with the wife for a couple of years, about 4 years ago, the old lady next door gossiped that I have left my job in Korat and 'ripped-off' the school I was working for 'to the tune of' 200,000 baht, . The mother-in-law went round and straightened her out about a week later once it was clear that she was just being bitter.

I have got some in past aswell but as we are frequent visitors, and visably happy together, its seems to have vanished over time as there is nothing to gossip about and we've been married now for about 5 years, leave them nowhere to go with the snidy BS. Also, my wife has travelled a lot with me to a fair few places aswell.

From a observers view-point, you posted somewhere, can't remember exactly, about maybe bringing Mrs Cornhole over to blighty for a while, good idea IMO, if can be arranged by your good self.

Option B, I suppose, is the obvious one and start planning/executing the 'great escape' ASAP to the land of and . Sorry to state the obvious Randy, sure it's on the agenda.

Are you any closer to returning to 'The deep jungles of Isaan'?

Understand about the marriage "thing" aswell, getting married would shut them up as they(traditional Thai village type) can be a bit snooty about that sort of stuff, remember, it's probably 'conservative central' around there.

I put it down to the fact that it is very quiet in these places and nothing much happens, so the mentally insecure have to "create" stuff themselves. You marrying a local girl is like(in their eyes) Sir Lancelot riding into town on a white horse and sweeping her up, sure the bitter lot are going to be envious as they probably would like that to happen to their daughters, secretly, at least.

Just to lighten things up Randy,



(you all may well laugh but it's not too far off the truth from the village perspective)

Almost forgot there, they all watch far too much TV aswell, implications clear on that one.

Some good comments on here Randy from all! 'In a nut-shell' it's best to be together, if possible, and I know it's not always possible.

Hope you escape 'dodge city' or get Mrs C to join you ASAP, both would be acceptable outcomes, just my opinion though.

[bluezephyr]

Thanks hhferang for your kind words. Yes marriage is on the cards and I would like to bring her to the UK eventually.

So many plans and so little money...

With all the Thai ladies i know over here married to English husbands, Theres an element of jealousy over here, All comparing what theyve all got when they get together

[Randy Cornhole]

Seems like you can't win either way!?!?

Bluezeyphyr is your avatar showing you at work...

[bluezephyr]

You want chillie with that
I carve a good slice from my reheated and then heated a bit more processed lamb log