How do you manage your Thai extended family?

[richard]

E-dork

Dont know really. My extended family (wife has 14 brothers and sisters) own and farm quite a lot of land so I guess they are high peasant

My door is open for them to come for food, drink and a smoke. They never ask for anything else and my hospitality is always reciprocated

[crazy88]

My partners family are from Bangkok and certainly not what some posters would refer to as "hi-so" Thais. Her earliest memories are of her grandmother carrying her on one of those over the shoulder yokes with her on one side and trays of home made desserts on the other. The 3 sisters lost their father to illness when the eldest was about to celebrate her 10th birthday. Mum took work on building sites to support her own mother and daughters basic needs as best she could until finding a small rental shack close to a university where she made food for sale to the students. Minimal income with the girls helping for several hours before dawn until they went to school. This continued for years with the girls taking part time jobs to help the family and further their education. When the eldest, my partner, reached the end of basic schooling she called the sisters together to plan for the future having decided that all should attain a university education to give them the best chance of gaining employment that could support the family. This seemed an impossible dream but her talent for basketball won her a scholarship. The younger girls took on further part time work to help her through and support the basic daily needs. Once she graduated she held down several jobs to put her sisters in the best position she could. All the while they were still working the food stall and paying for the eldest to learn English and other skills in evening and weekend classes. All graduated and found employment. Everything they have gained since then has been achieved through hard graft and determination. They have never asked me for anything other than to be loyal and take care of their sister. If they were in need of assistance in any way I would not hesitate for a nanosecond. Nor would they for us. Those of you have courted Thai spouses will know how hard it is to be accepted by family and friends. Took me some time of feeling like a lab rat and the only pressure I am getting now is when I put the second ring on the finger as grandma wishes to see her last grand daughter wed.

Crazy 88

[kendo]

How about polling the qestion pete, as a farang do you feel that your Thai extended family take the p*ss or are they genuine, i would have to say that my extended family are genuine foke.
Kendo.

[Hilux]

In the beginnin of our marriage we had a lot of requests, but three years ago we bought 25 rai of land and have given the family (mother and father in law) the responsility of renting the land out. They keep the money for the rental and can use it any way the see fit, and we can sell the land again when (in hopefully many years) they pass away.
I am not sure exactly how much the get in rent, but I know that some pay the rent on a monthly basis and others give a percentage of the rice they harvest from the land.
This has worked perfectly, and ever since then we have only given birthday presents and so.

Hilux

[PeteC]

How about polling the qestion pete, as a farang do you feel that your Thai extended family take the p*ss or are they genuine, i would have to say that my extended family are genuine foke.
Kendo.

I can't Kenny as post already started and don't want to start another one on the same subject. Perhaps a Mod can assist and insert? Pete

[Big Boy]

PM me the options, and I'll sort it for you.

[Big Boy]

Poll has now been added to thread.

[Khundon1975]

"Yes, without hesitation on their part, financial help or not".


From the very start, my wife's family have treated me as one of the family and that includes all the wife's aunts, uncles etc.

Don't have any experience of the "financial help or not" part, as they have money, so in 12 years it has never come up.

Maybe I'm lucky.

[Spitfire]

As an epilogue to this thread, then it's worth mentioning that all social set-ups that a woman might come from, whether rich, poor or middle class have their own set of unique problems, which is why this is a good thread. You often cannot decide who you may or may not fall in love with and then marry, stating that you should marry a rich hi-so type and dismiss all else is silly as you are putting conditions on who will meet before you even meet them, no good will come of that, trust your feelings Luke. Look no further than the Tv and Channel 3 soaps, if that is what we are all supposed to aspire to, then Gorden Bennet! Be afraid! Isn't it supposed to be about happiness? There are countless well-off people that would trade it in for some true happiness. It's whatever floats your boat and as I mentioned earlier it's up to you where the stop signs are. Good thread Pete.

[BaaBaa.]

Poll has now been added to thread.

And is looking pretty conclusive so far.