Thailand and Thai relationships more commonplace?

[cockneyrebel]

Excellent post Jaime, full of twists and turns. I'm marrying a Thai lady next week in BKK, having known her for almost a year. Reading this thread has made me stop and think a few times, but I figure if I don't do it now I'll be too old and will never take the plunge.....besides...I love the girl to bits and feel it's reciprocated You have summed-up very nicely my thoughts on a Farang/Thai relationship, but your insight is much the better as you are already married to a Thai.
I hope I can be as patient as necessary, my fiancee has already told me she doesn't want to mix with Thai ladies when/if she gets here (UK) as she doesn't want to be dragged-down by gossip and scheming....I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But she has in the past argued my case when we've been charged the double menu prices, and winning on occasion, so I don't consider her the "average money-grabber".
Like any relationship time will out, but there can be problems whoever you marry (I was married to a Brit for 30 years so know a little about married life) Getting hitched to a foreign national is a different kettle of fish entirely I suspect, especially one from a culture such as Thailand, but I'm looking forward to the challenge and excitement!!!

Carpe - Diem!!!

[Moto Guzzi Bob]

Hi All

I agree, an excellent post, generalisations are often needed to make progress. Sometimes knowing what other people go through helps.
Just remember, you get over one hurdle, begin to relax and up pops another, stick with it, it's a roller coaster ride and there is lots of fun as well.

Dunno about the have/ not Thai friends. My wife has some Thai friends and it hasn't proved too problematic, but has, on occasions caused some grief, especially the irratating comparisons (bigger house/ car/ gives her lots of money/ bought house/ land in Thailand), however, she accepts a reasonable explanation. Sometimes she sleeps on it (or other problems) and next day says she's sorry but now understands (Am I lucky?), if not, I try again or just back off. I think I always admit it if I'm wrong (or even not sure) and I'm sure she respects that.

Sorry guys I'm beginning to preach and what I am saying is the same for any good partnerships!

I must admit that if I ever go to live in Thailand, I will want to talk to English speaking people sometimes (however fluent my Thai became) and I think it is the same for all the Thais I know over here (except a few older male Thai chefs!). It doesn't mean they have to get involved with the so-called Thai mafia. My wife talks to them out of politeness, but is well aware of their destructive ways.
So endeth the lesson

Moto Guzzi Bob

[Jaime]

I did get married in Thailand but had to go to the British embassy to complete a Freedom to Marry affadavit, I presume we're legally married the UK as well then as the embassy has records of it.

Marriage in Thailand is definitely recognised as a legally binding marriage and there is no need to register it either in the UK or at the Embassy in BKK. I often wondered what the advantage of getting it registered would be since at least when I enquired you had to permanently ensconce your Thai marriage certificate original with the one of the government depts in London. Perhaps it allows you to get divorced in the UK - I'm not sure! If you ever come to live in the UK you are considered legally married whether you have registered or not and your wife will be legally recognised as such, eligible for all rights normally conferred on a spouse. I never bothered registering because you had to pay some ridiculous fee and because we needed the marriage certificate for all sorts of other stuff - like buying a house in Hua Hin!

[backinUK]

Please allow me to give backinUK's friend the best advise I can give.

Get married in Thailand NOT in the UK (see previous posting)

Bit too late for that, they're getting married in UK on 23rd April. I still don't undertand why they don't get married in Thailand though since his mum now lives in Thailand! They're doing it on the cheap here but as you say, things would be easier to sort out if it all goes pear-shaped. But it's his decision so I guess he knows what he's doing.

[Moto Guzzi Bob]

Hi backinUK,
No offence to your friend

But it's his decision so I guess he knows what he's doing.

I doubt it , very few are aware of the difference and most think that it makes no difference (I used to. I married in the UK and I'm still married after 4 years, but am aware of the failure rate).
I truly wish your friend the very best of luck and hope that he never has to find out.
For others that are thinking of taking someone back to the UK and intend to get married, I say again - my best piece of advice is -

GET MARRIED IN THAILAND

If things go wrong (and often, sadly, they do) it will cost you much less or even nothing (If you are the mean sort!)

Moto Guzzi Bob

[philip]

Meanwhile.............I've tried a Pineapple international phone card, to call Thai mobile from UK, and....IT'S BRILLIANT ! Incredible value for money. My fifty quid card had sixty quids worth of time (special offer) and it just lasts and lasts and lasts. Having used for a month now, every other day for between ten and thirty minutes (she tyalks a lot, I mostly just listen) I still have forty-eight quid credit remaining. Can't believe it. By contrast, my last quarterly British Telecom bill was five hundred and fifty pounds.....

Cheers all.

Philip

[Jaime]

Five hundred & fifty pounds!!!????? It must be love!!

[Moto Guzzi Bob]

Hi,
The Pineapple card sounds really good, but I think the number below is cheaper?
You'll have to do your own calculating to work out the cost per minute and record the length of calls, blah, blah (boring, I know, but done accurately, would be useful)
My wife is always ringing Thailand from the UK (for as long as an hour sometimes!)
and dials:

08444629629 (landlines) - costs 2p a minute
and
08444397397 (I think - for mobiles - if this is wrong, try the above number first) - costs 3p a minute

Not long ago they had a promotion (lasted about 2 months) and for either it was 1p a minute!

Since using these numbers the bill has never been more than about £35 a month (including local calls rent, etc.). Believe me she spends a long time on the phone and often!

Good luck with your blossoming relationship

Moto Guzzi Bob

[Geordie Farang]

Hi all,
I can vouch for MGBs numbers as my wife uses these all the time and they show up on your bill as peak rate numbers but the cost is as MGB states.
Bye the way we've been married 6yrs and now she's a true Geordie, Luvs football, especially the TOON, even goe's out on winter nights with almost next to nowt on.

[essbee]

Just a note. There is a good book "Thai Fever" which was in most of the bookshops around town and in Bkk a few months ago, which goes some way to explaining the cultural difference that can create problems in mixed marriages.

It is written in Thai and English and assumes that the readers are a western man and a Thai woman (now there’s a surprise !).

Its a good read.