How do Thais Show Affection?

[MrPlum]

I watched a Thai girl kiss her beau the other day and was struck by the technique. We tend to pucker up and plant one on the cheek or attempt to swallow our lover's head, with accompanying drain-cleaning sounds. This girl though was different. She pressed her nose against his face, then rubbed her face from side to side, 'Eskimo-kiss' style. As she finished she had a good sniff, inhaling his sweet perfume.. a combination of 'Hai Karate', 'Capstan Full Strength' and embalming fluid.

I was an obvious gesture of affection but I was curious. When I asked 'Why do you kiss like that"?, she said 'all Thais do'. On pressing further she said she isn't the 'touchy-feely' type, (no hugging) since her parents weren't. The only physical contact she received was when they beat her with a stick.

So, how does your girl show affection? Does she reserve it for the bedroom? Is just having you near enough for her? Is she stand-offish? Or is she very demonstrative, wanting hugs and kisses?

Try and keep it clean.

[johnnyk]

Sniff kiss is the Thai kiss. Inhale the essence of a person. They do not show their affection openly unlike some falangs who slobber all over each other in public or grab the girlfriend's ass to show how much they love her.
Thais will show it in more subtle ways like doing things for each other.

[HHADFan]

Good topic, Mr. P, though I'm surprised you wouldn't be familiar with a sniff kiss.

About the only way the gf shows affection in public is occasionally holding my hand when walking in a market. I don't really like public displays of affection so I'm quite happy with that. I don't even like the holding hands, but tolerate it. Maybe she just doesn't want me to wander off and pay too much for something.

In private she is more affectionate but not overly so. She removes blackheads (she loves to do that), cuts my hair, manicures and pedicures me, scrubs my back, buys my favorite snacks as a surprise, etc. I think those are her ways of showing affection more than hugs and kisses, though I get some of those, too.

If it's not too hot she will curl up with me to watch a movie.

Upcountry I see almost no displays of affection between couples. They don't even sit together at parties. Men sit with men and drink and smoke and talk, women cook and eat and talk together and bring us food. If I didn't already know a couple or see them arrive or leave together, I wouldn't even know they were a couple.

I see lots of affection for babies and little kids, but they seem to get less affection as they get older. In the 3.5 years we've been together, I can't remember seeing the gf hug her daughter, who is now 17.

[bozzman101]

if she is from esan and keeps pinching you on the arm can be a hardish one and smiles and says mankeooooooooo !!!!!!!!!! its a sign of affection
even if you get pissed off with it they do it on auto !!!!!!!!!!!!

[MrPlum]

I'm surprised you wouldn't be familiar with a sniff kiss.

I am but feigning ignorance gets the topic kicked off nicely and reduces the outrageous smear that I 'know it all'.

The grooming always makes me smile. It's still a surprise to have someone leap on me and hold me down while they snip away a fresh spurt of nasal hair. The g/f even does it with elderly visitors. I guess it's hard-wired into them.

[T.I.G.R.]

Yeah, HHAD, pretty much exactly like mine and family. When I met my wife 23 years ago, touching a member of the opposite sex in public was very taboo......and I don't see much of it nowadays but the girls held hands with each other and put their arms around some other girls shoulders when walking around.....and so did boys and younger men, with other males.

One thing my sisters'-in-law do that cracks me up is the "no touch" hug.........if you have had them you know what I mean.......lean over from three feet away is a good way to make sure none of their sensitive body parts get too close.

[E-Dork]

To a total stranger, who has just enjoyed a private, romantic connection with her loved one, a certain farang named Mr. Plum came along and harassed her about the way she interacted with her guy and asked....

'Why do you kiss like that"?,

I have to say Mr. P you do have cheek don't you.

Never in your household/hometown was the term 'None of your damn business' used? Or 'Keep your nose out'? Or 'Who the hell are you?

On an issue where Thai's are naturally sensitive and normally very private, you came over and asked for the nitty gritty. Luckily you were met with a more forgiving member of the Thai's and were answered politely, but, I'm sure the girl in question was mildly embarrassed about your question. You didn't do yourself any favours at all with this admission...

On pressing further I....

So with her reluctance to speak on this issue you actually pressed her on it.

No offence to you at all intended Mr. Plum, but you are a smart man who knows the culture and should have known better than to put a girl on the spot with this question.

The topic you posted though is actually a good talking point regardless of how it came about. The 'sniff kiss' is very common here which is normally used when not that close but getting there and just on the cheeks. The equivalant of Americans reaching 'first base' so to say.

[MrPlum]

I have to say Mr. P you do have cheek don't you.

No offence to you at all intended Mr. Plum, but you are a smart man who knows the culture and should have known better than to put a girl on the spot with this question.

I admire your noble defence of the lady's right to a private sniff. I consider myself duly chastised.

[E-Dork]

[HHADFan]

Yeah, HHAD, pretty much exactly like mine and family. When I met my wife 23 years ago, touching a member of the opposite sex in public was very taboo......and I don't see much of it nowadays but the girls held hands with each other and put their arms around some other girls shoulders when walking around.....and so did boys and younger men, with other males.

One thing my sisters'-in-law do that cracks me up is the "no touch" hug.........if you have had them you know what I mean.......lean over from three feet away is a good way to make sure none of their sensitive body parts get too close.

The only person (aside from the gf) who hugs me in any fashion is a sort of honorary uncle who has become a good friend. We don't get to see each other too often these days, but when we do he always shakes my hand or sort of hugs me from the side. Hmmm... come to think of it, even his wife touched me once, at her father's cremation. She put her hand on my arm while I was telling her how much I had liked and respected her father. It was a very 'western' type gesture.

It seems like I've seen girls holding hands at gf's daughter's school in Ratchaburi City, but I've never noticed it in the village, which is about an hour away.

For all that goes on in Pattaya, BKK, Bintabaht, and even 'behind the scenes' in rural Thailand, most Thais I am around seem very correct and circumspect in their public behavior.

[matthewnoel]

thais never show affection in public,but in the room armed with 1000 bht,different story.

[johnnyk]

thais never show affection in public,but in the room armed with 1000 bht,different story.

That's not affection, its business.

[sargeant]

My new girlfriend showed her affection by getting on a bus from Phuket to pranburi and then spent TWO days looking for me. My first words to her after NOT seeing each other for FOUR years was "have you come to live with me forever". Her answer "" Can I get drunk "" I got 3 beers she got drunk slept for an hour. I said "are you staying the night i have a spare room" she said "" yes i am staying but i am sleeping with you."" She is still sleeping with me two months and four heavenly days later. With Her sleeping on a camp bed in the hospital holding my urine bottle feeding and bed bathing me (every nook and cranny)for TWO weeks i dont somehow think a sniff kiss will alter my belief that she really cares for me.
oh and she has got more money than me (just for the doubting Thomas types)

[charlesh]

I'm so pleased that there are so many SNAG's around ha, ha.
Margaret Mead would have a field day in the LOS!

[MrPlum]

My first words to her after NOT seeing each other for FOUR years was "have you come to live with me forever". Her answer "" Can I get drunk ""

It's an unusual courtship, I have to say sarge. My g/f started with the standard Thai formality.. 'Herro. You, hansum man'. If yours needed to get paralyzed before slopping a wet cloth around your cods, you must be one ugly bugger.

Just kidding sarge. I hope it works out better for you than the last one.