MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM/Cashpoint
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1... Drive up to the ATM.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off.
************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth.!!)
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN .
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to ATM machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.
25. Redial person on mobile phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.
27. Release Hand Brake.
I'm not sure about ladyboy version needs.
Best of British
Re: Best of British
So the girl gets home from school and says to her mother:
"We had to recite our a b c today. The other girls could only get to e but I got as far as a, b, c, d, e , f, g, h, I, J."
"Well done dear", says Mum. "Is it because I'm blonde" says the daughter. Yes dear, it's because you're blonde."
The next day she comes home and says "Today we had to recite our five times table and the other girls could only get as far as five x five is twenty five but i did eight x five is forty. Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
Yes dear, it's because you're blonde.
The next day she comes home from school and said today we had PE and all had to get in the showers. All the other girls were flat chested but I had these!" With that she lifts up her top to reveal her 36DD boobs.
Is it because I'm blonde?"
No dear, it's because you're 25!!
"We had to recite our a b c today. The other girls could only get to e but I got as far as a, b, c, d, e , f, g, h, I, J."
"Well done dear", says Mum. "Is it because I'm blonde" says the daughter. Yes dear, it's because you're blonde."
The next day she comes home and says "Today we had to recite our five times table and the other girls could only get as far as five x five is twenty five but i did eight x five is forty. Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
Yes dear, it's because you're blonde.
The next day she comes home from school and said today we had PE and all had to get in the showers. All the other girls were flat chested but I had these!" With that she lifts up her top to reveal her 36DD boobs.
Is it because I'm blonde?"
No dear, it's because you're 25!!
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd 
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Re: Best of British
IT: Good morning, IT Helpdesk. Can I help you?
Customer: Yes, hello. I seem to have lost access to the net
IT: OK. Let’s see if we can sort this out for you. Firstly let me take your name.
Customer: Fernando Torres.
Customer: Yes, hello. I seem to have lost access to the net
IT: OK. Let’s see if we can sort this out for you. Firstly let me take your name.
Customer: Fernando Torres.
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Re: Best of British
COPPER WIRE
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire , Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found absolutely b*** all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes thee reet proud to be British
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire , Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found absolutely b*** all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes thee reet proud to be British
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
-
pharvey
- Moderator
- Posts: 15851
- Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:21 am
- Location: Sir Fynwy - God's Country
Re: Best of British
A Lesson in Good Grammar.....
For all my grammatically correct friends.
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his certificate
to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder,
warned,'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then
say '1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your
life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I
stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he
responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the
next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,
took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in
the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he
was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Thus Endeth The Lesson.........
For all my grammatically correct friends.
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby
reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile
dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his certificate
to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder,
warned,'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then
say '1-2-3.'
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your
life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I
stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he
responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the
next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,
took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in
the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he
was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,
"What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a
preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Thus Endeth The Lesson.........
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: Best of British
Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub
discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got
everythin' organised awready, the flouers, the church,
the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
"I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart
in that. Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white"
discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got
everythin' organised awready, the flouers, the church,
the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
"I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart
in that. Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white"
Re: Best of British
[quote="Jimbob"]MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM/Cashpoint
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1... Drive up to the ATM.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off.
Jimbob...not unless you are my husband
Ammendment:
(Unfortunately, this is the Truth.!!)
5. Leave card in machine, take cash & receipt.
8. Realise you have left card in machine and dash back. Card gone, machine has retrived it
9. Phone bank to say card lost
10. Wait 3 weeks for new PIN to arrive in post
11. When PIN arrives, try it in ATM...does not work
12. Phone bank for another new PIN
13. PIN arrived, try it in machine..works
Men ...I dunno
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1... Drive up to the ATM.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off.
Jimbob...not unless you are my husband
Ammendment:
(Unfortunately, this is the Truth.!!)
5. Leave card in machine, take cash & receipt.
8. Realise you have left card in machine and dash back. Card gone, machine has retrived it
9. Phone bank to say card lost
10. Wait 3 weeks for new PIN to arrive in post
11. When PIN arrives, try it in ATM...does not work
12. Phone bank for another new PIN
13. PIN arrived, try it in machine..works
Men ...I dunno
Re: Best of British
Working people frequently ask retired people what
they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Dottie, my wife and I
went into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an @sshole . He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Dottie called him a sh*t-head. He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Dottie, my wife and I
went into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an @sshole . He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Dottie called him a sh*t-head. He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.
Re: Best of British
This has got to be one of the cleverest emails I've received in awhile. Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When
you rearrange the letters:
BEST
IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When
you rearrange the letters:
MOON
STARER
DESPERATION:
When
you rearrange the letters:
A
ROPE ENDS IT
THE
EYES:
When
you rearrange the letters:
THEY
SEE
GEORGE
BUSH:
When
you rearrange the letters:
HE
BUGS GORE
THE MORSE
CODE:
When
you rearrange the
letters:
HERE
COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When
you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY
ROOM
SLOT
MACHINES:
When
you rearrange the
letters:
CASH LOST IN
ME
ANIMOSITY:
When
you rearrange the letters:
IS
NO AMITY
ELECTION
RESULTS:
When
you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S
RECOUNT
SNOOZE
ALARMS:
When
you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z
'S
A DECIMAL
POINT:
When
you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN
PLACE
THE
EARTHQUAKES:
When
you rearrange the letters:
THAT
QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS
TWO:
When
you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS
ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND
FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When
you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN
HITLER
(Wait till you see the last one)!
PRESBYTERIAN:
When
you rearrange the letters:
BEST
IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When
you rearrange the letters:
MOON
STARER
DESPERATION:
When
you rearrange the letters:
A
ROPE ENDS IT
THE
EYES:
When
you rearrange the letters:
THEY
SEE
GEORGE
BUSH:
When
you rearrange the letters:
HE
BUGS GORE
THE MORSE
CODE:
When
you rearrange the
letters:
HERE
COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When
you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY
ROOM
SLOT
MACHINES:
When
you rearrange the
letters:
CASH LOST IN
ME
ANIMOSITY:
When
you rearrange the letters:
IS
NO AMITY
ELECTION
RESULTS:
When
you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S
RECOUNT
SNOOZE
ALARMS:
When
you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z
'S
A DECIMAL
POINT:
When
you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN
PLACE
THE
EARTHQUAKES:
When
you rearrange the letters:
THAT
QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS
TWO:
When
you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS
ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND
FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When
you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN
HITLER
-
pharvey
- Moderator
- Posts: 15851
- Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:21 am
- Location: Sir Fynwy - God's Country
Re: Best of British
Where can I get my hands on some of these.......
- Capture.JPG (34.11 KiB) Viewed 918 times
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: Best of British
I think they stopped making those in the 70's Parvey. They were really called qualudes (street name) or methaqualone (pharmaceutical name); I really miss 'em
My brain is like an Internet browser; 12 tabs are open and 5 of them are not responding, there's a GIF playing in an endless loop,... and where is that annoying music coming from?
-
pharvey
- Moderator
- Posts: 15851
- Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:21 am
- Location: Sir Fynwy - God's Country
Re: Best of British
Extracts from letters written To local councils:
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it..
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it..
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: Best of British
I've just tried to buy tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute act. It was a right nightmare, it was on an automated telephone system. I had to press 1 for the money..............2 for the show........!!
My girlfriend finished with me last week. She said she was fed up with me because I was obsessed with 60's pop group The Monkees. I thought she was joking.....................And then I saw her face !!!
My girlfriend finished with me last week. She said she was fed up with me because I was obsessed with 60's pop group The Monkees. I thought she was joking.....................And then I saw her face !!!
'If you didn't have a wasted youth you wasted your youth'
Man in pub circa 1987.
Man in pub circa 1987.
Re: Best of British
A Husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a ‘PHONE CALL’ so that the kids will not decode..
One day, the husband sent his son to tell his mother that, "Daddy wants to make a phone call."
Mother replies: Tell your Dad that "The Network is down today. "
Dad to his son, "Go tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, I will go to a Public Phone”.
Mother tells her son to go and tell his dad, "if he dare go to a Public Phone, she will open a Call Center at home "
One day, the husband sent his son to tell his mother that, "Daddy wants to make a phone call."
Mother replies: Tell your Dad that "The Network is down today. "
Dad to his son, "Go tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, I will go to a Public Phone”.
Mother tells her son to go and tell his dad, "if he dare go to a Public Phone, she will open a Call Center at home "
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Re: Best of British
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED