Life in Thailand Poll No.5 (Frustrations)

[Spitfire]

I reckon we could have a few more polls on the life here and if no-one else is going to 'have a pop at it' then I think I've got at least a couple more, readership willing with interest.......but others have a go too.

"Frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be."

Wikipedia

To what extent have you experienced frustration in your designs for life here, or what do expect to be maybe frustrated about in the future if you are new or on an impending arrival regards to living here?

Has it panned out as expected? Probably not in most cases.

Were you surprised by the level of frustration you found yourself in at times or do you expect to find yourself in at some point over something?

I suppose this one is maybe connected to the 'expectations' poll as the wrong expectations or being hopefully too optimistic about much stuff could lead to greater frustration.

Oddly....I read this, this morning on the BBC, and it talks about how people with more realistic expectations are often less disappointed....good read.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-14506129

Obviously added a poll for some fun and gave two answers as it may be needed.

[STEVE G]

Oddly....I read this, this morning on the BBC, and it talks about how people with more realistic expectations are often less disappointed.

[dtaai-maai]

prcscct - Pete, can you put up a link to that really short but wonderfully positive thread you started on sitting and looking around and remembering everything you liked about being here, please?

[Spitfire]

Well, we've had 2 positive ish polls, one political one, and now with this one, two on the flip side of that.......can't have the sunny sickly stuff all the time.

[PeteC]

prcscct - Pete, can you put up a link to that really short but wonderfully positive thread you started on sitting and looking around and remembering everything you liked about being here, please?

Here it is, but it doesn't mean I don't get frustrated about certain things. Pete

I feel that many of us don't get out enough and start to get cynical about many things here, me included. I had a great experience yesterday, although simple, that put a smile on my face, made me shake my head in amazement, and got me angry all at the same time. I need to do it more often!

I went to get a haircut and then to a small restaurant next door that had a special on San Miguel original pale lager, which I hadn't had for quiet some time. Sat down and enjoyed three bottles, and this is part of what I saw:

1) An old man about 80 across the street in his boxer shorts hoeing the ground for no apparent reason. It's about a 1/2 rai lot, he doesn't own it and nothing is growing there. He just kept moving dirt and rocks using little force and seemed to be enjoying himself. Perhaps a displaced farmer now living with his kids in town in his old age and simply reliving his memories.

2) Women lovingly sprucing up a small Chinese offering temple. The place is spotless compared to its surroundings and you could see and feel the joy they had keeping the place pristine.

3) A greasy thug stopping in the middle of the soi to meet a motorcycle coming the other way and quickly exchanged a plastic bag of pills for an envelope of what I assume was money. For sure a yah bah deal, and right out in public in the middle of the day.

4) A mentally challenged man (again only in boxer shorts...must be the dress of the day ) who kept walking up and down the sidewalk and each time he passed me he said "F%$k you". The fourth time I actually laughed at him, and he went away.

5) The area mobile vegetable vendor arriving at the restaurant and the fat Thai cook coming out dressed out in his stained kitchen whites, and haggling loudly for 20 minutes about prices, and then stocking up on what was needed for the evening menu.

6) An oversize truck carrying a huge earth moving machine that obviously took a wrong turn onto this particular road, and got stuck in the overhead wires. The keystone cops showed up and the saga was still going on when I left, with traffic backed up forever with people trying to make u-turns in the street to get out of there.

7) A new girly bar that had just opened across the street named The Monkey Bar, with the girls wearing monkey masks and jumping up and down to try to attract customers.

8 ) The loving scene of small Thai school children walking home hand in hand with their mothers or friends, smiling and laughing all the way.

This was all in 45 minutes. A slice of life the likes of which you'll see nowhere else, and reminds me of some of the reasons I came here, and am still here. Pete

[STEVE G]

I only spend about three months a year in Thailand so obviously don't have many problems and I voted for the two near the bottom above 'other'.
I lived and worked in SE Asia for six years and I found that all the frustration generally came from trying to do any type of business there and I now avoid anything like that and prefer to make my living elsewhere and just base myself in Thailand.
To be honest, you can bring a lot of stress onto yourself in Asia by expecting things to happen like they do in the West and I think much of it comes from the reasons people went there in the first place.
If you were attracted to the Asian way of life you have a good chance of adapting and being happy but if you're just looking for a western lifestyle in the sun, you stand a very real chance of being disappointed.

[Pleng]

...BBC, and it talks about how people with more realistic expectations are often less disappointed...

...well it hardly takes an expert analysis to figure that one out!

[Spitfire]

^ True, but don't shoot the messenger that passes on what another entity said. Just giving a quick summary of what the report said so those that want to read can click on the link rather than say nothing and just leave the link.

One line out of all that OP, which wasn't mine, I reckon I got off lightly there. How about the actual thread subject matter?

[PeteC]

The thing that frustrates me the most I really shouldn't even care about, and wouldn't if I didn't have a Thai family here. I've mentioned it several times before, the complete and utter failure to be proactive with planning and always reacting with a knee jerk to an incident or crisis. Perhaps it's all just part of being Thai, or perhaps it's the inability to think critically given that most MP's go through the Thai school system, or perhaps the planning guidelines are there but no money as it's all skimmed with people praying that nothing bad ever happens.

Second on the list is the flagrant disobedience of rules, especially traffic rules. The group of motorcycles waiting at a red light just go through it if nothing is coming. The man in the car who could have stopped safely when he saw the light go yellow, but simply turns on his emergency flashers and goes through the red. I'm sure the first thing out of his mouth to the cops or insurance when he broadsides someone is "but I had my flashers on....". I don't blame them too much though as they take their lead from the MIB who also don't operate by any rules sometimes. No credible authority figure, so what do we expect.

Nothing much else bothers me anymore...mai pen rai. Pete

[Spitfire]

I too get frustrated and sometimes reticent about the apathy/greed that is often on display regarding many things and the way people prey on each other.

I suppose the corruption is so embedded here that it's hopeless to moan about it really, there are many reasons for it, even though I definitely don't condone it.

Not comparing this to any local builders in HH as some are obviously OK, this was just where I am.................

I found buying/building a house a little frustrating too, just to get what I wanted as it was often a case of 'Chinese whispers' from the sales office through the 4-5 people before it got to the average 200-300 baht a day worker, who then just does whatever as it's just another house to him and also to the property developer, who was Thai, so worth a mention here. I'd say that I wanted dimmer lights here, here and here and after it had gone through the sales office/engineer/electrician/foreman/worker group leader and then on to the guy that did the work then it ended up as 'He wants blue sinks'.

I sometimes get a little frustrated by the lack of individual thinking and is the reason why I have the signature quote I do at the moment....but I guess that's partly wrapped up in the culture/education system, not encouraged at all, so patience is often exercised by myself even if reluctantly.

Apart from that and the official dross we have to listen too, not really anymore as there are few decent examples for them all to follow, just how it is.

Edit - Couple of typos

[Spitfire]

Ahhh......completely forgot, somehow.. .......the other thing I find 'challenging' here is the scale of the lying, that too, can be frustrating.

[Vital Spark]

I think that I'd put lying at the top of my list. Not being able to get an honest answer to a simple, honest question is hugely frustrating. I now do the 'ask three people' technique, and pick the matching pair (although, sometimes, that doesn't always work ).

I guess the frustrations experienced here would vary depending on an individual's circumstances. Working here with Thais involves different Grrrr... moments than perhaps being retired here. I love the 'mai pen rai' attitude when it suits me, but it's damned frustrating when it's something that really needs sorting.

VS
PS: Going back to the UK usually does the trick when frustrations get to boiling point. I always come back feeling refreshed, and thinking life here is really rather nice.

[barrys]

A category 2a would not be inappropriate, i.e.

Yes, sometimes, but it's because I do speak enough Thai

[Takiap]

I chose 3 and 11. Generally don't get frustrated anymore because I've come to accept that logic and common sense are alien concepts, and they have no rightful place in the kingdom. Hugely frustrating for the first 5 or 6 years, but now quite amusing.

I remember how I would get really worked up when some idiot on the road sees you coming, and then still pulls out in front of you, whereas now I would be shocked if they didn't pull out in front of me Always thinking they know more than any Farang was also irritating at first, but now I've come to accept that they are a superior race, and that even the most poorly educated Thai knows more than any Farang possible could.


Once you get your head around things like this, it's plain sailing. Seriously, I threw in the towel years ago, and I'm so glad I did because now I actually get to thoroughly enjoy my days here.

[margaretcarnes]

Yes the standard of driving has to come high on the list of frustrations - and I STILL look both ways when crossing a one way street - in the UK.
But Pete is right IMO about looking at the good things. Sitting and people watching for a while puts things into perspective. The hotel staff (where they have a restaurant of course) flocking out to the food vendors. The care they take choosing their snacks. The guy smiling away while endlessly preparing baby coconuts.
We moan sometimes about the endless sales pitch from the Hill Tribes, but people like that are walking the streets for hours on end trying to make an honest living - they're not looting MV.