Leaving a bar

[advocate]

Besides the morality of the issue, there could be serious legal problems if a receipt is given. A foreigner returning to their home country could be prosecuted for human trafficking if this receipt was found in his possesion at customs. Matters not whether they are buying or selling, and conviction would likely result in a jail term.

No bar owner in his right mind would issue a receipt for the same reason. It could be used as evidence to implicate them in running a prostitution ring. Despite appearances, prostitution is still illegal in Thailand.

[HHADFan]

If the girl left the bar for any other reason, she would not pay anything.

The girls move around quite a bit (or at least they did back when I was in the bars a lot) and I've seen girls leave a bar to work elsewhere and return a few months later. No big deal. It's casual employment.

If she owes the owner money, I guess you should pay off the debt to avoid problems.

If you want to keep good relations with the owner, maybe offer a week's barfine to be nice? I've never heard of a bargirl having a contract and they aren't indentured.

You're in a bit of a minefield here and even if you speak Thai quite well, there can be conversations and discussions to which you are not privy. If the girl herself is encouraging you to buy her out of the bar, I'd think a bit before continuing the relationship.

[Korkenzieher]

I've heard this 2 ways - one is that the pay-off compensates for the loss of the stream of bar-fines the girl would earn and the other is that it is to buy her out of her contracted obligation to the bar(!). Since there are rarely any contracts in HH, no.2 seems to be obsolete so the only reason would be no 1. I would be pretty strongly against accepting that notion, in principle, and have never paid a 'buy out' fee

[usual suspect]

There's many mixed replies to this topic/post.
What is the actual Q. here..?
* Does the man feel he's getting ripped-off having to 'release' the girl from the bar?
* Are many of you really questioning the legal aspects of this ...
* It seems here that paying to take a girl out of the bar is something new..
IMHO...
We find in many cases that the man can see that the pretty lady is an asset to the bar, & that he
nearly always feels compelled to ask my Mrs what the price will be to take her away from her workplace... he can see she works well in the bar,thus helping the Mamasan to make money.
(Please dispell all sexual/after-hours activity you folk are relating-to as 'work').
This lady may be a natural at walking out into the Soi and steering customers in to the bar, she may be great company for 3-4 of the regulars who come in..thus ending up with them spending a healthy amount of Baht each time, she may be just damn fine 'eye-candy'..but she's an asset.
IF the man asks how much to take her out of the bar my Mrs very quickly works out how much
this man has spent over the bar already..it may be an insult to charge him a fee when for the last few weeks he's been in every night and spent decent money..
OK, the Mamasan asks him for 8-10,000B..this is totally up to her or the bar, & please remember this has been happening for years now, be it in BKK, Patts, or C.Mai.
We are no different, but my Mrs only asks for about half of the above figure.

(Of course the s**t hits the fan when in many cases after only two weeks the lady is back
working in the bar again...buts that must be the start of another thread surely..??)

[advocate]

With respect, while she may be an "asset" to the bar, the same as any pretty girl in a bar anywhere in the world, she is still a human being and a casual employee, not property or an asset to be sold by someone else.

Just because something is customary does not make it right.

I have heard that the $ is split bw the bar and the girl, with the girl promising to stay permanently with the man, but very often actually planning from the beginning to go back to the bar shortly to look for another sucker. This is especially so if the man is of modest means.

If we are only talking about 4-5000 Baht, then it's not a huge loss though.

[ste860]

when some girls arrive they have no room ,no clothes cant speak english ,some bar owners incvest time and money with their girls ,and they want to get it back ,some girls borrow money to get decent cloths ,being a bar girl does have hidden costs ,the owner also needs a return on the investment,im not saying this right or wrong but it happens.

years ago a friend i know paid the bar and with in 2 weeks she was back working in it ,

[advocate]

I see nothing wrong with repaying money the girl borrowed, but the premise behind paying a buy out bar fine appears to be more to pay the bar owner for speculative future earnings, based on the value of the girl as their personal asset.

I know several men who have bought a woman this way and were constantly asked for more and more money, a house, car, motorbike, etc, etc. Some of them lost a lot of cash and property, especially if it was registered in her name. Nothing good ever came of it as the relationships started off based on money, not love.

[HHADFan]

There's many mixed replies to this topic/post.
* It seems here that paying to take a girl out of the bar is something new.. ...


(Of course the s**t hits the fan when in many cases after only two weeks the lady is back
working in the bar again...buts that must be the start of another thread surely..??)

I've certainly read of buying a girl out of a bar, usually referring to clueless tourists in Bangkok who buy a girl out of a go go bar, become her sponsor, and the girl goes back to the bar as soon as the man leaves. I've never heard of it here in Hua Hin in relation to a beer bar - doesn't mean much, I was usually drunk in the bars and not paying close attention. If a girl left your wife's bar for any other reason, would she be expected to pay because of loss of income? Is it just because maybe she hit the jackpot? I'm not criticizing your wife; in fact you said, " that he nearly always feels compelled to ask my Mrs what the price will be to take her away from her workplace", and that if the guy had been a good customer it would be an insult to charge him. If he didn't offer, would she demand payment? If so, on what grounds? Girls come and go. A quick survey between the gf and I totaled nine girls we know who left bars to live with farangs. None paid anything, at least not to our knowledge. (We do know of a farang who stole a friend's cook, and man, she was angry! Bargirls are easy to find; good cooks, not so much!)

Re the second part I quoted, but I hope it doesn't work out that way.

I'm really interested in your take on this, and not to argue about it. Is this part of the bar subculture that the gf and I are unaware of, or is it just a scam to milk a little more money from the farang? Do farangs who plan to take a girl out of the bar 'permanently' actually offer to pay? I can easily imagine (actually I did it) a situation where I want a girl to travel with me for about a week, and I pay her bar fines up front. Travel with, live with, no difference, but it was a limited period of time - I would have done the same had it been a month - I go away and she goes back to work, so why screw up her job over a fairly small amount of money. Littlebird was rather specific about the arrangement being permanent. Thus, on what grounds can an employer ask for compensation for losing an employee beyond repayment of any debts the employee may owe? The girl is quitting her job. If she's a good earner for one bar and she and her bf split up, she'll be a good earner for another bar. If she has the attributes you mentioned, she can get a job anywhere, even back at the bar she left.

Of course if someone offered me money, I would take it! But the OP said, "Bar owner demands that she (read he) pays owner sum of money for her to leave." (Emphasis mine.)

Thanks for your input.

[advocate]

I can walk around Binta Baht and on just about every night recognise several girls who were bought out of the bar, have conned falangs out of millions of Baht, lost it all in a few short months, and are back working bar.

Would you buy a hooker out of your local massage in your home country and buy her a house?

If you want to rent her for a week or month, then pay the bar fine. But don't delude yourself into thinking you can trust her with your life savings.

[littlebird]

With respect, while she may be an "asset" to the bar, the same as any pretty girl in a bar anywhere in the world, she is still a human being and a casual employee, not property or an asset to be sold by someone else.

Just because something is customary does not make it right.

The above is the point I guess I was trying to get at (obviously unsuccessfully).
Anyway, after much heated discussion the owner (who rips off the girls tremendously) did give me a receipt, obviously not stating exactly what the money was paid for (as in human trafficking), my satisfaction being that at least with an 'official' receipt the owner may have to pay tax on it. A small but significant up yours to the owner

[JimmyGreaves]

Anyway, after much heated discussion the owner (who rips off the girls tremendously) did give me a receipt, obviously not stating exactly what the money was paid for (as in human trafficking), my satisfaction being that at least with an 'official' receipt the owner may have to pay tax on it. A small but significant up yours to the owner

Think your living in cuckoo land asking for a receipt!

You just got off the banana boat?

[advocate]

Best if you establish boundaries right away regarding the amount you are willing to spend on her. Most of the men I know pay for all living expenses and give them an allowance of 10,000 Bt per month. This is more than the average Thai earns, especially considering that her living expenses are paid for. Some give a little more, but anything more than 15,000 Bt and she is just in it for the money. 10,000 is normal and more than enough.

If she tells you tales of her girlfriends getting much more than that, don't believe it. This is the standard con to get as much out of you as possible by making you think you are a cheap charlie.

If you buy any vehicles put them in your own name, which is easily done. If you buy a condo put it in your name. If you buy a house or land put it in a company name.

Some girls will tell you that you cannot buy in your own name or company name or that you will pay more in taxes, etc. This is not true, and is a definite warning sign.

If you are considering marriage, then buy any big money items before you marry, not after. Don't fall for any of the scams here and be sure and consult a lawyer on your own w/o her present before you buy anything.

Good luck littlebird!

[dtaai-maai]

It's nice to know romance lives on in these cynical times.
Still, if it doesn't work out, at least you can use the receipt to get your money back.

[advocate]

I don't think belittling the OP is the right thing to do.
What's done is done.

The least we can do, especially from those of us that have been here long enough to know the ropes, is give him our best advice and wish him well.

[littlebird]

She is aware I do not intend to buy a car, prpoerty or land
I help her and her daughter only, her family have never asked for anything because I have always been clear on this.
Also she is aware that if we marry there will be no sinsod to her or her family as she has been married before and both parents are dead.
So yes, everything is on a claar footing from day one.
Incidentally, a friend of mine recently married a Thai girl (she had been married before, 1 daughter)
She demanded (and got):
1 million sinsod
10b gold
House for parents
House and land (farm) in her name
Car x 2 (one for her brother)
Mororcycle for other brother
Husge, extreemly expensive wedding with everything for guests paid for (including hotel beills for them all)
40k per month until he moves to Thailand

So maybe I got off lightly !























If you are considering marriage, then buy any big money items b
































efore you marry, not after. Don't fall for any of the scams here and be sure and consult a lawyer on your own w/o her present before you buy anything.