Fighting Off The Selfish Option

[BaaBaa.]

Socks in the wash Sarge?

[charlesh]

Looks like the official Nth East uniform. Getting fit for the final putsch ha, ha!

[HHADFan]

From what little I can understand about Champix, it binds with the same receptors nicotine does. Interesting...

...

I can remember 2 dreams really well. ...

I just realized the description I wrote last night may have sounded like I liked the side effect of leaving the patch on at night. I didn't. The first night I had no idea what was happening, but when the same thing happened again the second night, I started taking off the patches at least an hour before bedtime.

[sargeant]

The socks are in the cupboard its just to damn hot to wear them

It is an official Liverpool team strip collected by my nephew from Anfield when they kindly donated 15 strips to my sons football team about 5 years ago liverpool

I found three strips when i was clearing out my ex wifes crap and was rather staggered to find they almost fitted it gave me a push to keep going with the exercise and now i wear them almost daily.

The strip is also very light so i always wear it to Dr Polpats Hua Hin heart clinic as i am weighed every time and every ounce counts

Could members please remember that somewhere out there Mr Lost has not replyed i am sure all will join with me in hoping he is fine and making progress and while i hope my story will help i think the focus of this thread should be the people who are suffering

[Siani]

The socks are in the cupboard its just to damn hot to wear them

It is an official Liverpool team strip collected by my nephew from Anfield when they kindly donated 15 strips to my sons football team about 5 years ago liverpool

I found three strips when i was clearing out my ex wifes crap and was rather staggered to find they almost fitted it gave me a push to keep going with the exercise and now i wear them almost daily.

The strip is also very light so i always wear it to Dr Polpats Hua Hin heart clinic as i am weighed every time and every ounce counts

Could members please remember that somewhere out there Mr Lost has not replyed i am sure all will join with me in hoping he is fine and making progress and while i hope my story will help i think the focus of this thread should be the people who are suffering

I have thought about Mr Lost too and wonder how he is doing. I am sure your story Sarge has helped and given inspiration to many of us. Hopefully helped Mr Lost, most of all. Hope you feel better Mr Lost, remember we are all still here if you need to talk

[ge3]

I have researched that AA is quite strong in HH. They hold meetings on the 17th floor in the Hilton Hotel 12 noon every day from what I have read.

AA has saved a friend of mine life from alcholism but not drinking 1 day at a time..Hope you are well Lost and addtionally seek some councilling if possible.

[ge3]

Sorry had to put link here to to forum rescritions. I had only made 9 posts prior to this one and can now post links yay and recieve PMS Been promoted to Rookie

Link to AA Hua Hin

http://www.aathailand.org/schedhuahin.html

[sargeant]

I make no apology for resurrecting this thread we should remember some like lost are suffering and over the festive season it is magnified.

On the 30th of December @ 2030 hours in the midst of a boisterous happy Karaoke Birthday party organised for me by a new friend the General of Dhanarat Army Camp. I quietly slid out into a quiet area and looked back @ my last birthday.

The time was significant because at that time exactly one year earlier I was sat in the house which my previous wife had sold out from under me my life had disintegrated 2 months earlier and I felt I had no nil hope for the future, staring at a wire noose fashioned from 2 coat hangers and suspended from my stair rails with a stool underneath it. I sat looking at it for a good few hours but did not have the guts (fortunately for me) to do it The previous attempts with sleeping pills were non effective as well.

Well lost one year on I have a beautiful new wife who came for ME
I have moved out of Hua Hin
I have completely refurbished a bungalow which had zero maintenance for 20 years
But my proudest achievement was persuading my wife to deal with her only regret in life and go back to college and finish her degree, she has studied 4 to 6 hours a day crammed 9 months of study into 5 months (luckily the floods gave her an extra month as her exams were put back) she now has more exams in February and in October takes her finals

We spend a lot of time discussing our future and I am blissfully happy

so to lost or anyone else out there please please hang in there it will change and you can make it through
I wish you all the best and hope you have the luck and good fortune i have been blessed with

[Takiap]

As they say Sarge, the tide always turns. I'm fortunate in that I was born optimistic, and so no matter how bad today might be, I've always believed tomorrow the sun will shine again. Saying that, it doesn't take much for me to be happy in life since I'm not a materialistic sort of person, so have never pursued wealth or anything else for that matter.


I'm also incredibly fortunate to have met and married my wife who has stood by me through thick and thin.

[richard]

Thanks Sarge for the bump start but the most important thing is what has happened to Lost the original poster.

He kicked this off lest we forget and our concerns should be on how he is faring

[sargeant]

and our concerns should be on how he is faring

which is exactely why i posted

i would like nothing better than for LOST to post he is fine and doing well but i am also mindfull that there may well be others who just read but dont post

if all is now well LOST please post and help someone else by showing you got through it as well

[sateeb]

Lost has 2 posts and last visited on 23rd March 11.

A good thread though, speaking as someone who has to fight the "Black Dog" days now and again.

[tuna22]

Wow Specialist-what an story you tell about Sarge. Seems like he really struggled but managed to discover a support network through doctors and good friends.

For me as a future expat, this topic has highlighted somewhat the potential difficulties after relocation. Good to know people are available that really care.

[Takiap]

I have always believed that not everyone is cut out for being an expat, and especially in a country which is so vastly different to the countries we come from. Some want to live in places like Thailand, but deep down inside, they're just not cut out for it. Some realize that and they leave, while others refuse to acknowledge the fact, and sooner or later they start slipping in that dark and miserable world. Then you get those like Sarge who get dealt a bum hand, but the manage to pull through and live again.


So, Lost, if you are checking in once in a while, let us know how things are.

[Cing Jai]

I make no apology for resurrecting this thread we should remember some like lost are suffering and over the festive season it is magnified.

Good, because if you hadn't I would have rather than starting a new one for a very similar topic. Your story is an inspiration Sarge and it's so great you're here to follow up and thank the people who helped you!

For similar but different reasons than Lost, anyone sent him a PM by the way?, I am in a real crisis myself. I don't want to go into a lot of detail here because if I start it could turn into a novel. Let's see what happens...

I'm totally isolated in this new place (HH) and have no friends. I moved around a lot as a kid so I never really developed those life-long friendships you do with kids that you grow up with. So I have nobody back in the US to call on. My family is a disaster so don't even go there please. I've basically cut all ties with the US except for the passport. I have a Thai girl (4.5 years together now) 5 years younger than me but there's issues there with communication and commitment. Fortunately, not the kind Sarge had to deal with, but it is also a part of my problems.

I was so happy my first 3 or 4 years living here but something happened 3 years ago, I can almost track it to the date, but not the exact cause, when my life started circling the drain. I know I am fortunate for my standard of living and about how much worse others have it but the depression is just overwhelming. I can't see the stars through the blackness of the night anymore and that is a big departure from the person I used to be. People used to really like me and now I can see them take one look at me and avoid me. They see something that I can't keep internalizing and don't want to be around it. Thats why I chose the nickname. I've had several incidents of angry outbursts the last year or 2, completely unacceptable in Thai culture and one day very likely to get the shit kicked out of me but, I don't seem to care. In fact, I can't seem to find anything to care about or to look forward to even though I've got it OK materially. It means nothing to me, all there is is the depression.

Have you seen the movie Sunset Limited? My problems are somewhat related to the character played by Tommy Lee Jones. I'm disappointed by people, humanity and the young man who thought he could change the world has been smacked down enough times by it now that I realize it's futile.

Now, I don't want to scare any potentially helpful people off but I have to admit that suicide is a thought I struggle with several times a day. This started a couple years ago and depending on how bad things are at a given time the more I dwell on it. I'm a former healthcare professional and I know how critical the stage I'm at is, with plans and all. I basically can't / won't handle another "failure" in life. I've had it too good in the past and it's reasonable to believe that my best days are behind me. If it comes to that I'll go out with no regrets.
I am receiving some bullshit treatment from psychiatrists in Bangkok but I can't tell them what is really going on with me. I simply can't communicate my problems to Thais, there are too many cultural and language barriers in the way.

What I really need is (very cheap) counseling or a good understanding friend with a lot of stamina Someone from the West who has training, a retired psychologist or counselor maybe, or experience dealing with people like me, a bartender maybe.

I really am a nice guy once you get to know me and I bring people together like nobody else I know. I'm also a very loyal friend, a lot more loyal than other people in my life who I have considered friends anyways. I have Buddhist + Native American beliefs about religion and god so please know in advance that I'm quite unwilling to consider any of the Western religions "solutions for the desperate" nor do I get any motivation from those organized Western religions. I am a spiritual person but not in the way Western religions define it.

Ok so this has gotten pretty long already, sorry. I'll stop now though there so much more to write / say. So much I don't really know where to begin.

I appreciate anyone's replies here on the forum or if you would like to contact me via PM or email (until I make enough posts to be able to use PMs) please feel free to do so.

Thanks for taking the time to read.