Buying a House/land/buisiness

[whirlyweston]

15 Reasons to think about

1] No qualifications or regulations

There’s no real science or mystical theory to why Estate Agents are mentally inadequate. In fact, it’s quite simple- the Estate Agent industry in the UK is unlicensed and unregulated, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). There is no official training or qualification required. That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?

In fact, I’m pretty sure the only prerequisite an Estate Agent is required to have is the means to access a cheap suit.
2] Consumer protection

Estate Agents are generally protected from their own stupidity, because as mentioned, there is currently no regulation. They can get away with being blood sucking vampires and laugh all the way to the bank without carrying fear of prosecution.

It’s extremely difficult to claim anything against Estate Agents, unless they do something blatantly illegal. It’s amazing how British consumers have more rights when buying a tin of soup than bricks and mortar.
3] The Wanker Mobile

Need I say more?

Estate Agents Drive Shitty Minis


4] “This property is really popular”

Estate agents aren’t short of a trick or two. In fact, they have an entire treasure chest full of them, which usually has a Krusty the clown face on it.

One of their favourite tricks is to arrange two viewings to “accidently” coincide, so the property appears to be in demand. Alternatively, the agent may often get someone from the office to ring while taking a viewing and pretend that someone has just put an offer in.

Buyer beware.
5] That house is perfect for you, sir (NOT)

Estate Agent’s will lie through their teeth about every little detail in order to persuade you to sign on the dotted line.

Example:

Hey Mr Estate Agent, is that barn an appropriate living environment for my wife and my newly born child?

Well, let me see; according to my calculations, I get 1.5% of the sale price. So if I worked this out correctly- then YES, it’s a perfect living environment for you and your family

I’ve never heard any Estate Agent say, “No, that would be a bad buy, my friend”, have you?


6] The Estate Agents perfect deal

Estate Agents don’t try and get you the best deals; they try and get themselves the best deals. Again, this relates to the commission based salary. Regardless of whether you’re a buyer or seller, they have tactical methods of trying to exploit anyone at either end of the chain. If you’re a buyer, the Estate Agent may try and make you pay as much as possible for a property, because that has direct impact on how much commission they earn. If you’re a seller, an Estate Agent may try to under value your property, and then quickly buy the property via a “friend” Sounds far-fetched, right? Happens all the damn time.
7] They’re all the same

Estate Agents are all manufactured from the same factory in Taiwan. Cheap, and well presented, but generally broken and malfunctioning. They all step off the production line in a cheap River Island suit, slicked hair, a grease ball personality and an intoxicating aroma of Old Spice.

Oddly enough, they don’t seem to see what we see.


8] Time-wasters

For some reason, Estate Agents take it upon themselves to show the prospective buyer properties that are completely out of scope from the initial requirements. Why do they do that? It’s usually when they don’t have enough properties in their books that match your criteria, so instead of losing a sale they show you random properties, in hope you will bite the bate.

Here’s an all-time classic clip from Gavin and Stacy of a stereotypical Estate Agent that’s a total time-waster. It’s funny as hell because it’s so in touch with reality.

9] Estate Agents run their own shop…from their suit jackets

Estate Agents will try and sell you ANYTHING, not just property. I wouldn’t be surprised if an Estate Agent pulled out stainless steel cutlery out of his/her polyester suit in the middle of a viewing, “Madam, this fine set of cutlery would go lovely with this house. I can make you a deal if you buy both today”

Beware of Estate Agents that come baring mortgage deals and home insurance offers. They can also make commission from those ‘extras’ They generally don’t offer the best rates, but regularly imply that they do.
10] They hate their own kind

‘Black on Black’ crime was actually inspired by ‘Estate Agent on Estate Agent’ crime. They never tell you that part.

Point being, what chance do we as consumers have if they hate their own kind? I’m not just talking about feuds between rival companies; I’m also talking about in-house war. They backstab each other by taking each others leads. Other peoples misery is generally their gain.
11] Flyboarding

A lot of Estate Agents try and cut corners in every possible situation, and their marketing strategy certainly doesn’t escape the trend of being “cheap” A lot of Estate Agents have been known to use a marketing method known as ‘flyboarding’ This refers to putting ‘For Sale’ or ‘Sold’ signs outside of properties that aren’t actually for sale. It’s merely a cheap way of advertising. Not surprising, really.

Additionally, almost all estate agents market properties that aren’t even for sale. They keep old stock in the books just to generate extra enquiries. Then, when a potential buyer enquiries about one of those phantom properties, they try to flog a “similar” property that IS for sale. Deceiving really, innit.
12] Turbulent Work Ethic

If the property market is ‘hot’ and there is plenty of demand, Estate Agents are generally performing at their worst. Their level of communication will be at an all time low and they’ll be working by their own schedule.

However, if the market is dead, you may get the best out of them. They’ll probably pop round and drop off some sugar; build some common ground and try to ‘relate’. It’s pitiful.
13] Mr Know-it-all

When an Estate Agent doesn’t know an answer to your question, don’t expect a confession, nor should you expect a respectable response like, “I’m not entirely sure, but I will find out for you and get back to you”. Strap on your seatbelt and expect a train of verbal bullshit. In most cases, an Estate Agent won’t comprehensively know the in’s and out’s of all the areas they deal in.

Example:

Hey, Mr Estate Agent, what are the local schools like around here?”

errr…well, they’re very good. Yeah, my daughter goes to the one around the corner. Highly recommended. Your children will be safe and well educated there”

The Estate Agent is lying. He doesn’t have a kid. He hasn’t even had sex with a human before, only with bags of money. He lied about having a daughter to strengthen his response- who would lie about having a daughter? Estate Agents.
14] No conscience

If my life depended on trying to find an estate agent with a conscience or finding a unicorn, i’d fancy my chances on the latter.

The reason estate agents can happily go about their daily lives while slaughtering the lives of many is because they have no conscience, therefore feeling guilt is void. I suppose this clarification explains the majority of the list.
15] Chinese Whispers

You have to remember, the estate agent is the “middle-man” The problem with having a middle man, especially one that’s dressed as a clown, is that information often falls out of their head, meaning information doesn’t always seamlessly relay as it should. Strange that, innit?

It’s not uncommon for a lot of the lower-end offers to never get delivered to the vendor if the estate agents feels he can make more money from the deal.


Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is dodgy; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing.

[Big Boy]

You've obviously had a couple of bad experiences whirlyweston. I found the above a light hearted review of what can happen. Obviously not every agent fits all of the above criteria, all of the time.

[whirlyweston]

You've obviously had a couple of bad experiences whirlyweston. I found the above a light hearted review of what can happen. Obviously not every agent fits all of the above criteria, all of the time.

Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is dodgy; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing.

[Big Boy]

Most of us remember/reflect on our bad experiences, while things that go right tend to pass us by. I certainly made my share of mistakes during my working life, and I'm sure that is something most people do.

Most of my experiences with Hua Hin Estate Agents have been very good, but yes, some could have done a little better.

[expatsally]

Is this really true and if so WHY?

1] No qualifications or regulations

There’s no real science or mystical theory to why Estate Agents are mentally inadequate. In fact, it’s quite simple- the Estate Agent industry in the UK is unlicensed and unregulated, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). There is no official training or qualification required. That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?

[caller]

In fact, it’s quite simple- the Estate Agent industry in the UK is unlicensed and unregulated

Well, yes and no. A rough guide here

http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/ac ... =RESOURCES

And there is also the ombudsman scheme, never use an agent in the UK not signed up!

http://www.tpos.co.uk/about_us.htm

[margaretcarnes]

Wow. Strange timing.

I must admit to a lack of experience with Estate Agents in the UK. Of the 3 properties I have bought here over the years 2 were new build therefore I dealt direct with the developers. One was a simple transfer so no agent was needed.
Selling wise - one I was bought out of - again no problem. One sold through an agent very quickly and easily with no hitches. The third I placed with a national chain and very quickly pulled out and sold it myself (the agent didnt display details as well as I'd hoped and seemed generally not too interested.) So as a seller I'd say the agent wasn't pushy enough.
I'd agree that some aren't as professional as they should be - but some are excellent and bust a gut. On the down side a friend had a bad experience with a UK agent this year. She went in to the office to make a justified complaint only to hear the manager in a back office say 'oh that stupid woman...' She went elsewhere. At the other end of the scale another friend was treated with absolute professionalism despite endless viewings.
Bottom line though is that if the buyer knows what they want - which area - and price range - they should never allow themselves to be swayed. And generally the buyer knows exactly what they want, and knows as soon as they walk through a door whether a property feels right.
It isn't about buying a pair of shoes - or even a new car. It's a huge outlay for most buyers and I really can't believe that they would allow themselves to be cajoled into something which wasn't right. Add to that the fact that most viewings in the UK are unacompanied because the properties are still occupied....how much influence can an agent have?

[Takiap]

Well whirlyweston, you at least gave me a good laugh - I took your post to be a lighthearted rant. On the other hand, if you well and truly feel that way, then I can only assume you've been on the receiving end of a bum deal. I can't really comment because we have only bought three properties, and none of the three involved any agents.

We bought a place in Samut Sakhon directly from the owner, and when we sold, we sold it directly to a Thai couple. A trip to the land office and to the bank was all that was needed.

The place we stay in now, we bought the land directly from the previous owner and paid her in cash at the land office.

Our third property purchase was a new build condo in Bangkok bought directly from the developer, but via the bank. This is rented out and the tenant pays her rent directly into my wife's bank account, so agents involved.


Back to your post..............


1) The cost of a person's suit has absolutely nothing to do with their character or level of professionalism. In fact, I would soon trust an agent in a pair of shorts and t-shirt than I would one wearing a $10,000 suit.


2) I think it's pretty obvious that an agent will try to sell the the most expensive place possible if they are relying on commission. Like everyone else, they have to earn a living. This is not being a cheat. The correct name for it is "sales". You see it happening every time you buy anything.


Think of when you go into a supermarket and you see a sign that says "buy one, get one free". Do you honestly think the supermarket is giving anything away for free?

Go into a car dealership and you find the same thing as well........the sales person will almost always try to sell you the model that earns them the most commission, or try and sell you additional items. They too don't have any "qualifications".


In summary.........welcome to the world of sales.