In a pickle with possible stalker

[Big Boy]

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you wish to brag about your sexual exploits, please do so in the appropriate forum. Further explicit descriptions will be removed. Also, this is not a spelling test. Please stick to the subject in the OP - it's far too early for this one to drift.

[pharvey]

BB, point taken - I shall consider my @rse slapped.....

As to the OP, I would suggest (as some others have), making a complaint to the Police - what good it will do in LOS is anyone's guess, but surely it can't do any harm?

Care with phone numbers in future probably wouldn't go amiss either....

[advocate]

I just reread the OP and realized the guy is British. I would go see people at Immigration first and ask if they can do a computer search to see if the guy is here legally. After all, it's there job to make sure the immigration laws are followed.

If he is here legally, perhaps on a student visa, they can still warn the guy off and tell him he can be deported for breaking the law. He may be on a student visa, but not actually attending classes. Maybe he had a work visa for teaching that has since expired? If his work visa is no longer valid, he may be forced to leave, although he could reenter as a tourist if he has the money to travel.

It might take a friendly envelope to get some action, but better to pay the police than the mafia. I'm unsure if the immigration police carry guns, so they might take along a regular armed officer to fully and completely get the message across.

[pharvey]

^ Valid point re: Immigration (and the brown envelope!).

[sateeb]

So have we all decided that he is "guilty as charged"?

[pharvey]

Once posted, guilty - you should know the rules by now sateeb.....

[barrys]

Have just been through a similar but somewhat milder situation.

My gf was being sent suggestive sms messages by a farang customer of Mermaid Cruises.
She kept the messages stored and showed them to me.
A meeting was then arranged where he and I came face to face.
I explained to him rationally that this was unacceptable behaviour and had to stop forthwith or further action might be required.
He tried to make excuses that it was only a bit of fun so I asked him if he wanted me to go through the messages with him individually and explain it to him in Thai (he was accompanied by a Thai female companion at the time).
He declined the offer and since then there has been no repeat of the behaviour.

The point I'm trying to make is that procrastination will only exacerbate the situation.
It has to be nipped in the bud.
Her husband plus a male friend, if necessary, should confront the (alleged) perpetrator and demand an explanation and tell him that it has to stop now or else legal action for harassment will ensue.
The conversation should be recorded discreetly on a mobile phone as evidence, together with the SMS and phone records already stored.
He should subsequently also be made aware that such evidence has been secured.
I honestly believe that further action will then no longer be necessary if the full consequences of his actions are made clear enough to him.

[MrPlum]

Excellent post barrys.

[LolaBeltran]

I have dealt with stalkers many times before in my previous profession.
The best thing you can do is to have as little interaction as possible. If he gets through on the phone, hang up immediately. Do not feed their ego or delusions by participating in conversation. Keep all SMS messages and all records of incoming calls.

The guy sounds unstable and unpredictable. If it were my wife, I would have friends who are police officers pay the guy a visit. Perhaps even lock him in a holding cell for a bit to give him a good scare. These types are usually cowards and often the threat of incarceration is enough to scare them into selecting a different victim.

Thanks advocate . .this seems to be the best course of action to me. Unfortunately she has not kept a record of the SMS messages or calls but that is something I will immediately suggest. The guy IS definitely unstable and immature ( though I would say he is in his mid-20's). I think he is just making threats to worry and hurt and provoke a reaction.

I also thought about going to the Immigration police.
We are not even considering any of the more "interactive" solutions . . .at this point anyway.

Wow, this thread certainly took off in all directions!!

[advocate]

While I agree with Barry that this needs action asap, I respectfully disagree with confronting the guy personally. You are just adding fuel to his fire by making it personal and giving him an excuse to hate the husband as well, and do something underhanded.

As the husband,I would be angry and tempted to deal with it myself, but logic tells me to stay out of it. The husband can't always have a tough guy friend around, and may not be able to physically handle a deranged 25 year old.

He sounds mentally unstable to even be acting like this in the first place. Guys like this can also be paranoid and may carry a knife. Better to let the police handle it. That's why they have guns.

[advocate]

So have we all decided that he is "guilty as charged"?

Nobody here can say for sure. Everyone has the right to make a complaint to the police if they feel threatened. It's up to the police to decide if the complaint has any merit, and what action, if any, needs to be taken.

[Don East Stand]

Well it's nice to have a thread where we can contemplate the rights and wrongs, and with some posters it would appear that they also want to be judge and jury.

I notice in the original post that Lola said

she is and has been for many years in a close relationship with an older farang

In the same post she then states with reference to the stalker

He has also taken to sending SMS messages to her husband

So is it her husband or is it a close relationship? As an aside is it possible to be both, sorry dear, only kidding

Something just doesn't seem right here, and I do sincerely hope it is not right, i.e. I would not want anyone to be in danger from a stalker. I also don't think that if you have genuine concerns for your own safety, or a friend's that you would hang about on a forum for a few days chewing the fat.

If the allegations are true, then there is already a lot of good advice posted previously.

[dozer]

" She is in a business ( tourist connected )" if this is the case then surely she must have some connections that could help her out and with it being a faring against Thai it would be an easy fix.

[Don East Stand]

Sorry I should also have mentioned the following that might need to be cleared up.

Lola explained how it was easy for the stalker to get her friend's number i.e. business card, but how come the stalker has her friend's husbands number?

[migrant]

I notice in the original post that Lola said

she is and has been for many years in a close relationship with an older farang

In the same post she then states with reference to the stalker

He has also taken to sending SMS messages to her husband

So is it her husband or is it a close relationship?

My wife (Thai) often refers to someones long term companion as husband, or wife as the case may be.

When I point out they aren't married, only L-T boyfriend/girlfriend she says "They live together, they have been together many years, they're married. In Thailand we consider them husband and wife".