Discontent with expat life in Thailand

[buksida]

Getting this back on topic and off crisps or the UK, my observations are that there are a number of factors that will make an expat in Thailand discontent ...

1) Finances: when your income drops below that you'd envisaged for a comfortable life.

2) Friendships: buddies are important to expats since we're strangers in a strange land so when you fall out it affects you more.

3) Stimulus: having something to do is essential, especially if you're retired. Some are happy downing Chang everyday, shooting the breeze or sounding off on forums, others need a bit more to keep them going.

4) Business: constantly having to watch your back for snitches, competitors and other envious expats can be a drag if you run your own business here.

5) Relationship: arguing or drifting apart from your wife/girlfriend can cause serious problems, for many it was the reason they came here.

6) Politics: having to fight harder every year just to get the paperwork to stay here takes its toll, there are plenty of good alternatives to Thailand.

I've been through quite a few of these!

[Takiap]

I agree with you 100%. If you're staying here with absolutely nothing to do, I would imagine that it's very easy to become grumpy and miserable. Having three young kids, and a younger wife has certainly help in my case. Most days I'm rushed off my feet, and I long for the evening when I can call it a day and relax with a nice cold beer.


I guess I'm quite fortunate because in general, I honestly don't have much to complain about. It would be nice though if they could make staying here a bit easier, and especially for those of us who have been here for so long, complete with our wives and kids. It crap knowing that every year you have to go through the same hassle, and on top of that, you either need to leave the country every 90 days, or you need to report at immigration like some kind of sick sex offender/criminal.

[Korkenzieher]

I think Buksida's little list covers most bases.

For myself, I find that I am not really old enough to 'settle down' or retire in the classical sense but I also feel that I am getting a little too long in the tooth for the main alternative on offer - wall to wall party animal. Thailand restricts my alternatives quite considerably, and quite deliberately. That isn't to say that there aren't businesses or diversions that one could get involved in - just not too many that appeal to me. So I find myself agonising over quality of life issues that aren't even real. Of course the weather is better; of course the cost of living is lower; of course there are more social opportunities. But couldn't I maybe get more, better, cheaper somewhere else....?

So, I think it is important at least to me, to distinguish between saying what is not working for you in LOS as being different to why you left your homeland (apparently by default the UK). I've lived and worked in a few different countries, and the comparisons I make are usually not very UK specific. I'm not particularly attracted to the idea of going back to the UK to live, but when I visit, it is mostly OK and a lot of such apprehension as there is, is caused through unrepresentative, emotive reporting in the papers. I would guess that most of us rely on the online papers from our country of origin to have some kind of feed-back about what is going on - not too many will be getting all their news from the Bangkok Post I would bet.

Excepting those that, for whatever reason, feel trapped here, most of us chose LOS over the likes of Malaysia, Vietnam; but probably could change that decision pretty much overnight if we had compelling reasons to do so. I suppose basically it comes down to the notion that if it ain't broke don't fix it - but if for you it *is* broke, then make some changes (location, lifestyle, circle of friends) - no one is going to do it for you.

[MrPlum]

There's another aspect not usually considered. Many people are escaping. They change jobs, countries, wives, shrinks, which gives them temporary distraction (a year, perhaps two) from themselves. They are looking outside for happiness, when the secret lies within. Eventually they will have to deal with what is going on inside. Unfortunately, because they don't know how to do it or are never aware that this is the way to liberation and happiness, some never do.

Many intelligent men fall to drink or hopelessness because they have given primacy to the mind, without really understanding how to become its master rather than its slave. Raja Yoga is a discipline worthy of research.

This group offers free courses with locations in Thailand...
http://www.bkwsu.org//whereweare/center

[margaretcarnes]

I agree 100% with Buksi - but would add that for retirees it doesn't matter where you live. The challenge of retirement is always pretty much the same, in that you have to have interests and try to keep busy. (Ok half busy will do, but there has to be something to get up for most days!)
I have seen far too many people in the UK who have worked for the same company from 16 to 65, then retire and drop dead within a few months. The whole mindset of the 'retirement date' is wrong IMO. It is only a date, and fortunately in many countries that is all it is.

[Dannie Boy]

As a number of people have said, it's mainly in the mind on whether you can adapt to living in Thailand. We've all come for different reasons but for many it was either to find a new partner, or already having done so, we have decided to put our roots down in LOS.

It is different here than our home countries but its what you do with your time that helps decides whether and how easily you can adjust to your new environment. I worked for the same company for 42 years, although in many different locations including overseas and given the opportunity of early retirement in 2011, I took it with both hands.

Although I already owned a house in HH, I decided that I wanted to have a house with a large plot of land to help keep me occupied and designed the house myself and had the plans drawn up by a nephew of my wife and the house built by a local well known builder to my wife's family. Whilst it was stressful at times, it was also interesting and rewarding seeing "my" project come to fruition.

I now have a lovely house and a big garden that keeps me busy watering it, cutting the grass, growing fruit and veg, looking after 4 chickens (never had such wonderful eggs before). I enjoy baking so every week I make homemade bread, a cake of some sort and often a pie. Washing the car and motorbike, cleaning the swimming pool (surface twice a day and vacuum the bottom every other day). We have a dog that I exercise three times a day and as mentioned above, 4 chickens that produce a surprisingly large amount of droppings to be cleared up (and added to the compost heap).

I don't have time to get bored and I enjoy doing all of the above. I am sure I would be doing similar things wherever I lived, and hence back to the title of whether expats are discontented or not in Thailand - I think you are what you are and if you are not happy here then you probably won't be happy anywhere!!

[J.J.B.]

I think you are what you are and if you are not happy here then you probably won't be happy anywhere!!

[STEVE G]

I have seen far too many people in the UK who have worked for the same company from 16 to 65, then retire and drop dead within a few months.

Luckily for me, the retirement age is set to increase to 67 when I'm 63, so I'll get another couple of years of life to enjoy before retirement kills me off.

[sargeant]

I agree with all Buksi has posted and having been through a divorce seen my income drop (although its going up again ) i have never been in business but can see Buksis point i have kept myself occupied including the forum so i have been through a fair few of the points he raises and i am still contented here

For me though HH changed so much in such a short time and has become a little united states of europe and no longer has the thai laid back feeling it had when i came in 1998

I would add a categorie for discontented people where HH has changed but having bought property are stuck and that is fully understandable

I am not discontented with Thailand but i came to live in Thailand not some warm euro retirement home

i have no doubt that farangs that arrived later see it differently well thats because it was different by the time they arrived

saying all that Tescos and Makro make it all more pleasant