Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

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MrPlum
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by MrPlum »

Woosie wrote:He is now almost 5, speaks decent english and is a polite, happy little boy.
Most 5 year olds are easy. Wait until 13 when someone flicks a switch and your angel turns into the teenager from hell. I think this is the period where most relationships will be tested, including my own. :shock:
Takiap
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by Takiap »

MrPlum wrote:
Woosie wrote:He is now almost 5, speaks decent english and is a polite, happy little boy.
Most 5 year olds are easy. Wait until 13 when someone flicks a switch and your angel turns into the teenager from hell. I think this is the period where most relationships will be tested, including my own. :shock:

I actually feel the opposite, in that I think they get easier as they get older. I also think a lot depends on the type of person you as a parent are, and how you were when you were a youngster, or a teen. I seriously doubt any of my kids will be as much of a nightmare as I was. One of the reasons being that they will never in a million years manage to bluff me. I think it's important to realize that kids go through stages, and if they feel they can connect with you, then you've already won half the battle.


As for Thai kids being worse...........I couldn't disagree more. I personally think Thai teens are a million times better behaved that teens in the west. I do agree about them being pampered though, at least the boys.

Btw Buksi, if you persevere, and you REALLY make your wishes known, your inlaws will back offals far as interfering is concerned. In my case it's take several really severe arguments, but for the most part, the inlaws no longer challenge my decisions regarding our kids. As I've said to them, translated by my wife, they had a chance to raise kids, but they chose not to. With zero child raising experience, they have no knowledge to share with me.

BTW, I get along really well with my inlaws, but I do think its necessary to lay down a few rules. Funny enough, my FIL has never ever been a problem. It's always been the MIL that thinks she knows best. :twisted:


:cheers:
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Dannie Boy
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by Dannie Boy »

Takiap wrote:
MrPlum wrote:
Woosie wrote:He is now almost 5, speaks decent english and is a polite, happy little boy.
Most 5 year olds are easy. Wait until 13 when someone flicks a switch and your angel turns into the teenager from hell. I think this is the period where most relationships will be tested, including my own. :shock:

I actually feel the opposite, in that I think they get easier as they get older. I also think a lot depends on the type of person you as a parent are, and how you were when you were a youngster, or a teen. I seriously doubt any of my kids will be as much of a nightmare as I was. One of the reasons being that they will never in a million years manage to bluff me. I think it's important to realize that kids go through stages, and if they feel they can connect with you, then you've already won half the battle.


As for Thai kids being worse...........I couldn't disagree more. I personally think Thai teens are a million times better behaved that teens in the west. I do agree about them being pampered though, at least the boys.

Btw Buksi, if you persevere, and you REALLY make your wishes known, your inlaws will back offals far as interfering is concerned. In my case it's take several really severe arguments, but for the most part, the inlaws no longer challenge my decisions regarding our kids. As I've said to them, translated by my wife, they had a chance to raise kids, but they chose not to. With zero child raising experience, they have no knowledge to share with me.

BTW, I get along really well with my inlaws, but I do think its necessary to lay down a few rules. Funny enough, my FIL has never ever been a problem. It's always been the MIL that thinks she knows best. :twisted:


:cheers:
My UK parenting consisted of raising 3 sons. As far as I know, they were all treated the same and the youngest and oldest were no problem whatsoever and whilst he wasn't a real thorn in the side, the middle son was certainly more of a challenge, but he grew out of it and turned out fine, the same as the other two.

My Thai wife has a 14 year old son who lives with us and his behaviour is exemplary, although he has only lived with us since last year.

I believe that parents can have a significant influence on how their children behave, but there are no guarantees that they will always turn out the way you would like.
Woosie
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by Woosie »

Mr Plum, my boy is far from an angel and can be testing at times. I hope and expect that to continue. I want a kid that is adventurous and pushes the limits sometimes. As a first time father I'm still learning the ropes. I do agree with Takiap in that you need to make your views known while being polite but firm with both Thai relatives and your kid(s).
Agreed also with DB that parents are the major influence and there are no guarantees.
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by midlandmike »

good to see the positive posts, like most things you tend to hear the bad stories, good to hear the positive ones.
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Spitfire
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Re: Taking on and Raising a Thai Child

Post by Spitfire »

Interesting subject and one that probably most of us have witnessed in one form or another, either personally or with people we know.

I think it is important to remember that there are many OK kids despite there also being many that are problematic (due to whatever reason). One of the main issues that places hurdles in the way of successfully integrating a child from a previous relationship into a new one here is the degree of exposure to the extended family the child has had previously (not to mention the lack thereof to the mother in many cases), as what is considered as 'normal' in that environment is a 'country mile' away from what we, as westerners, may be expecting.

It depends on the child I would have thought and I have come across plenty of success stories as well as the horror stories too regarding this issue.

As for guys becoming step fathers here, I would say that you should try to realise just what you are undertaking and have realistic expectations. However, any man that is benevolent enough to give a child a second chance and provide the possibility for said child of being a future success instead of a member of the ever growing 'waste-of-space' brigade should be commended, as there are many that wouldn't.

I have no first hand experience of this subject - but have known a fair few guys that have quite well - and there seems to be varying degrees of success.

As a guess, I'd say that you could probably be able to handle.....say.....one child, but more than one would be difficult and testing, especially if the family is interjecting in the relationship too much.

Really depends on the kid and the relationship's environmental realities, so it's probably not fair to generalize too wildly on this one.

:cheers:
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