Okay, so what's the secret for using the damn poacher I bought yesterday?
I followed the instructions......
Painted a bit of butter on the inside of the cups; added half a teaspoon of water to each; put the eggs in; pricked each yolk 3 times; closed the poacher and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. At the end of the 30 seconds the egg whites were clearly not cooked properly (still mostly transparent) so put them in for another 15 seconds. With 5 seconds left to go, the was an eggplosion.

Fortunately damage was limited thanks to the clever blast proof design of the poacher, and all evidence of my failure has been destroyed
As it is, I was already getting strange looks from my MIL when I showed her the poacher.

This was followed by her trying to explain that you can just crack the egg into a pot of boiling water.

She really sees no reason why the egg has to look nice and neat.

Don't try to impress me with your manner of dress cos a monkey himself is a monkey no less - cold fact