I agree. And easy on the overanalysis of other people's relationships, especially when you don't know them.Spitfire wrote:Yeah....easy on the melodrama. Would have been good to ask the question 'Why?' when she said don't say it in the first place.
My wife has never told me not to use the phrase 'up to you', and it is a phrase that has had a fair bit of use, though not always in exactly those words. In fact, it would probably be in Thai more often than in English. 'You decide' gets the same airtime.
Mostly for fairly trivial stuff like what kind of restaurant to go to or whether to go shopping in the morning or afternoon.
I don't use it much myself any more, because she invariably turns it round on me. All of the above analysis had me wondering if this was a cultural thing, so I asked her about it. Apparently not.
According to my beloved, if she decides on a restaurant and I don't like the food, I get grumpy and fidgety. If she decides (for example) to go shopping early and the roads are packed solid, I get grumpy and say something along the lines of "I knew we should have gone later".
And that is why she prefers to leave such decisions to me.
). When we do, now we calmly sit and talk it over so that we understand each others feelings. There is sometimes not a resolution, but at least we don't fight and just agree to disagree and put it behind us quickly and get on with what's good about our relationship. I also think it helped that she lived in my country for half of our marriage so that she fully understands the cultural differences under which we grew up.
