I had all my papers together, but was busy last week. Unfortunately, I overlooked the fact that my 90 days were up on 3rd November, so Friday was the deadline. Oh well, if I couldn't smooth-talk my way out of it, I'd have to smile and pay up.
I knew today would be busy, sandwiched between the weekend and a public holiday, but today it had to be. I couldn't get there first thing, so rather than go at 10 or 11 a.m. I thought I'd leave it til after lunch.
We got there at 2 pm and the place was heaving
. I forced my way through the 90 day queue and took a ticket, which was disturbing - no. 18, though the numbers on the displays were in the 130s... 
Then a charming young lady addressed me as Ajarn, waied me beautifully and said she was a former student. "Yes, of course I remember you," I said, "how lovely to see you again."
My printer's on strike, so I hadn't been able to print out my forms as I usually did. She took them away and filled them in for me, bless her little cotton socks, bringing me a glass of iced coffee when she came back. Things are looking up, thought I. Not really though, as she was just a helper. The one thing she couldn't do for me was jump the queue.
I had my kindle with me, but squeezed in on those silly seats that won't let you lean back unless you want your head in the lap of the person behind, and fanning myself frantically with my mountain of paperwork, I really didn't have enough hands to read as well. Anyway, I was too busy watching the damn counters waiting for them to get back to zero so that I could start thinking about no. 18.
While I was sitting there, it was blatantly obvious that at least 2 people (Thais) sauntered in, bade a loud sawat dee to all and sundry and sat straight down at a desk with a wad of passports, which were handed around to 2 or 3 other officers and occupied them for the next 15 minutes (not that I was counting...
). Irritating, to say the least, and not so much as an apologetic glance from anyone, but not the first time I've seen it happen.Mrs D-M leaned over and whispered, 500 baht no waiting. Bugger that for a game of soldiers. 100 baht maybe. 500 baht, I'll wait an hour or two, thanks very much.
An hour and a half later I was called to a fairly attractive uniformed lady (not that I cared by that stage), who gave me a sound ticking off for not reporting on time for the 90 days. Suitably apologetic, head lowered, shoulders down, I lied through my teeth with a pleasant smile on my face and blamed the university. 10 years in Thailand... Somewhat to my surprise, no fine and not the merest hint of tea money.
Again, Mrs D-M suggested perhaps a discreet tip was in order, but I don't normally go in for this sort of thing unless absolutely necessary, and since the only options were an indiscreet "Keep the change" - 100 baht, offensive as well as indiscreet - or a discreet 1,000 baht note, my only other cash, the tip went straight out the window, which caused me no pain whatsoever.
My sincere sympathies to the elderly (with respect) British couple sitting behind me with ticket no. 16, who must have waited a couple of hours to apply for their re-entry permits only to find on getting to the desk that they didn't need them... looking on the bright side, at least they saved themselves some money...
