I've got some experience with this, Dawn. When I was in similar shoes, I found myself trying to raise a Thai boy as a farang, you can't do that if the boy is to live and thrive here for his lifetime. I realized that some months into the challenge and did an abrupt about face.
It is a huge headache as some of the 'farang' mentality would serve him well but...how much...at what age best instilled....when will he benefit from it? It's a mine field trying to decide how and when to do it. Just to use Jaime as an example, he's raising a Thai boy or two but not here. His approach is and should be completely different than your's or mine here, especially if the boys will make a foreign country their life home.
In the example you gave, I would say if Thai parents are comfortable with their kids 'roaming' a bit, I would be also. Thailand is not known for kidnappings and the mess we see with kids in the West. Those Thai parents however wouldn't allow it in Klong Tuey, but they probably would in HH. Take your lead from what you see.
From the discipline angle you have to give some but, make sure it's not you being overly sensitive concerning how other people may perceive you in your role as a farang Mother of a Thai boy. I found myself doing that...wanting to make extra sure and perfect that I set a good example and that 'my boy' wasn't going to reflect badly on himself or upon me when we/he was out and about. Again, way into the challenge I discovered I was thinking about me more than him. I had the reins way too tight.
I failed miserably and had to give up. He was 9 when I got the responsibility and perhaps partly due to my age and his age at the time, we just couldn't gel. He's now back with his Father's side of the family and thriving as a 'Thai'. You have an advantage as you have your boy from a very young age.
Good thread and hope to see insights from others. Pete
