News of the Weird - this just in!
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Omagh’s ‘Shawshank Husband’ Dug Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub Over 15 Years!!
An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.
Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:
“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”
Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife:
“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught. She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour. But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”
The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years. The judge questioned Kerr’s wife as to why she never smelt the sewage odours from her husband. Mrs Kerr simply shrugged.
An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.
Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:
“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”
Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife:
“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught. She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour. But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”
The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years. The judge questioned Kerr’s wife as to why she never smelt the sewage odours from her husband. Mrs Kerr simply shrugged.
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Source
- dtaai-maai
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Hilarious and wonderful! Makes me proud to be human and sorry I'm not Irish.Siani wrote:Omagh’s ‘Shawshank Husband’ Dug Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub Over 15 Years!!
“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”
Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife:
“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught. She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour. But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”
The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years. The judge questioned Kerr’s wife as to why she never smelt the sewage odours from her husband. Mrs Kerr simply shrugged.


This is the way
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Streaker sparks mass brawl during University match after lining up on the wing and tackling a Newcastle Uni player
A University match took a bizarre turn, after a streaker was on the pitch for a number of minutes, culminating in tackling a player and sparking a mass brawl.
The match between Newcastle University and Northumbria was coming to an end when the man, whose identity is not known, wandered on to the pitch with no clothes on.
After lining up on the wing for Northumbria, he tackled a Newcastle player to the ground to rapturous applause at Kingston Park.
A University match took a bizarre turn, after a streaker was on the pitch for a number of minutes, culminating in tackling a player and sparking a mass brawl.
The match between Newcastle University and Northumbria was coming to an end when the man, whose identity is not known, wandered on to the pitch with no clothes on.
After lining up on the wing for Northumbria, he tackled a Newcastle player to the ground to rapturous applause at Kingston Park.
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
- pharvey
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Some cracking international laws......
In Dubai, extramarital sex is against the law and could result in jail sentences for over a year. Which means that in rape cases, both the victim and the perpetrator could end up being charged with the same crime.
In Saudi Arabia, there is no minimum age for marriage. In 2008, a Saudi court refused an 8-year-old girl, who asked for a divorce from her 58-year-old husband.
In Greece, police are allowed to arrest anyone suspected of having HIV. Police are also allowed to force HIV testing, to publicize the names of HIV-positive people and to have them evicted from their homes.
In July 2013 a law was passed in China that states it is illegal for adult children to not visit their parents “often” in China. They are also required to attend to their parent’s spiritual needs.
In Arkansas there still exists a law that was instated in the 1800s that states a husband is allowed to beat his wife, but only once a month.
In Arizona, having more than two vibrators in your home is illegal. If you own more than two in your house, you can be subject to criminal possession.
In Iowa, it is illegal for a man with a mustache to kiss a woman in public.
In Massachusetts it is deemed illegal for a woman to be on top during sex.
It is also apparently illegal in Massachusetts for a man and a woman who rent a room for the night to sleep in the nude.
In Virginia, it is illegal for a man to kick a woman out of bed.
In Britain it is illegal to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances..... (Damn that's my plans for tonight knackard
)
In Vermont, a wife needs the husband’s permission to wear false teeth.
In Britain, it is illegal to import potatoes into England or Wales if you have reasonable cause to believe that they are Polish.
In parts of India, a man who is in debt can offer up his wife until the debt is paid.
In France, it is stated as illegal to marry a dead person.
In Britain, it is illegal to carry a plank along the pavement.
In Hong Kong, there’s a law that allows a wife to kill her husband if she finds him cheating. However, she must kill him with her bare hands.
In Britain it is illegal to operate a cow while intoxicated........ And bang goes Plan B....
In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to tie a dollar bill to a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.
In Florida, it’s illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on a Thursday.
In England it is illegal to die in the House Of Parliament, but something tells me that if someone did do this, they wouldn’t face many repercussions?
In Samoa it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday.
In Britain, oddly enough it is illegal to be drunk in the pub.
In Missouri it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear
In Victoria, Australia, it is illegal to change a light bulb unless you’re a licensed electrician.
In Australia, men are free to cross-dress, just as long as their dresses are not strapless.
In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush a toilet after 10pm. This one confounds me.
In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon. Apparently this is a slight to the great French general and emperor.
In Britain it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the monarch’s head upside down on an envelope.
In Russia, Vladimir Putin just recently made it illegal to tell kids that gay people exist.
In Colorado it is illegal to collect rainwater. Apparently farmers and landowners are being punished for this.

In Dubai, extramarital sex is against the law and could result in jail sentences for over a year. Which means that in rape cases, both the victim and the perpetrator could end up being charged with the same crime.
In Saudi Arabia, there is no minimum age for marriage. In 2008, a Saudi court refused an 8-year-old girl, who asked for a divorce from her 58-year-old husband.
In Greece, police are allowed to arrest anyone suspected of having HIV. Police are also allowed to force HIV testing, to publicize the names of HIV-positive people and to have them evicted from their homes.
In July 2013 a law was passed in China that states it is illegal for adult children to not visit their parents “often” in China. They are also required to attend to their parent’s spiritual needs.
In Arkansas there still exists a law that was instated in the 1800s that states a husband is allowed to beat his wife, but only once a month.
In Arizona, having more than two vibrators in your home is illegal. If you own more than two in your house, you can be subject to criminal possession.
In Iowa, it is illegal for a man with a mustache to kiss a woman in public.
In Massachusetts it is deemed illegal for a woman to be on top during sex.
It is also apparently illegal in Massachusetts for a man and a woman who rent a room for the night to sleep in the nude.
In Virginia, it is illegal for a man to kick a woman out of bed.
In Britain it is illegal to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances..... (Damn that's my plans for tonight knackard

In Vermont, a wife needs the husband’s permission to wear false teeth.
In Britain, it is illegal to import potatoes into England or Wales if you have reasonable cause to believe that they are Polish.
In parts of India, a man who is in debt can offer up his wife until the debt is paid.
In France, it is stated as illegal to marry a dead person.
In Britain, it is illegal to carry a plank along the pavement.
In Hong Kong, there’s a law that allows a wife to kill her husband if she finds him cheating. However, she must kill him with her bare hands.
In Britain it is illegal to operate a cow while intoxicated........ And bang goes Plan B....

In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to tie a dollar bill to a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.
In Florida, it’s illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on a Thursday.
In England it is illegal to die in the House Of Parliament, but something tells me that if someone did do this, they wouldn’t face many repercussions?
In Samoa it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday.
In Britain, oddly enough it is illegal to be drunk in the pub.
In Missouri it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear
In Victoria, Australia, it is illegal to change a light bulb unless you’re a licensed electrician.
In Australia, men are free to cross-dress, just as long as their dresses are not strapless.
In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush a toilet after 10pm. This one confounds me.
In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon. Apparently this is a slight to the great French general and emperor.
In Britain it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the monarch’s head upside down on an envelope.
In Russia, Vladimir Putin just recently made it illegal to tell kids that gay people exist.
In Colorado it is illegal to collect rainwater. Apparently farmers and landowners are being punished for this.


"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Phew, thanks, Pharvey

Although, not illegal here in Finland, it could cause similar consequences. I still have to try to remember this a few more days.In Samoa it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday.

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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is simply to forget it once!Bamboo Grove wrote:Phew, thanks, Pharvey
Although, not illegal here in Finland, it could cause similar consequences. I still have to try to remember this a few more days.In Samoa it is illegal to forget your wife’s birthday.
- pharvey
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
I'd have to agree with that.......pdm3547 wrote:The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is simply to forget it once!
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Sure, they want you to remember but they don't want you to mention their age......to anyone...even to them!pharvey wrote:I'd have to agree with that.......pdm3547 wrote:The easiest way to remember your wife's birthday is simply to forget it once!

Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Source
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
I've got it easy, my partners birthday is the 25th December, not even I can miss that one!
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Calls for 2 presents though....has she figured that out?STEVE G wrote:I've got it easy, my partners birthday is the 25th December, not even I can miss that one!

Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Source
- pharvey
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Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
^ You guys have it easy..... I have to remember my wife's "Lunar Birthday" as well... 

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things" - Yma o Hyd.
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
"Drink wine twice a night? You should be cured: UK"
Any man who drinks three nightly pints of beer, or woman consuming two glasses of wine should be prescribed a pill, according to new plans announced by the U.K.'s National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (NICE).
The drug, a £3 tablet of nalmefene, could be prescribed to an estimated 750,000 Brits, The Telegraph reported. If any of these "mild alcoholics" is unable to taper off their drinking within two weeks, then NICE has directed physicians to prescribe the medicine, according to the report.
Nalmafene, which is made by Lundbeck under the trade name Selincro, is "taken when people feel the urge to have a drink and stops them from wanting more than one," The Telegraph said.
The plans are expected to cost £288 million (about $459.47 million), and the National Health Service (NHS) and local groups are required to provide any funding within three months, The Telegraph reported.
Some are worried that the new prescription recommendation may tax NHS funds. ..."
Full story http://www.cnbc.com/id/102057547?__sour ... 02057547#.
Comment: They'd have me directly in the crosshairs to be prescribed this pill!
Any man who drinks three nightly pints of beer, or woman consuming two glasses of wine should be prescribed a pill, according to new plans announced by the U.K.'s National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (NICE).
The drug, a £3 tablet of nalmefene, could be prescribed to an estimated 750,000 Brits, The Telegraph reported. If any of these "mild alcoholics" is unable to taper off their drinking within two weeks, then NICE has directed physicians to prescribe the medicine, according to the report.
Nalmafene, which is made by Lundbeck under the trade name Selincro, is "taken when people feel the urge to have a drink and stops them from wanting more than one," The Telegraph said.
The plans are expected to cost £288 million (about $459.47 million), and the National Health Service (NHS) and local groups are required to provide any funding within three months, The Telegraph reported.
Some are worried that the new prescription recommendation may tax NHS funds. ..."
Full story http://www.cnbc.com/id/102057547?__sour ... 02057547#.
Comment: They'd have me directly in the crosshairs to be prescribed this pill!
My brain is like an Internet browser; 12 tabs are open and 5 of them are not responding, there's a GIF playing in an endless loop,... and where is that annoying music coming from?
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Are you supposed to take it with the wine or beer? 

Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Source
Re: News of the Weird - this just in!
Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. Source