
In my decade of living here and a further decade of holidaying here, I've never once been into a police station to ask for their help. I've been arrested a few times mind.

So today has been a real shitty day! To start the day off nicely, I had to give my thousand baht an hour, cushty Saturday morning class to a newbie while I was shipped off to a Government school to judge a pointless national competition involving students memorizing a given script and pretending that that's how they speak naturally. A few simple questions to the speaker lets one know that who you have in front of you is in fact... nothing but a robot. In the past, I have picked up a couple of thousand for these gigs, but the school kindly informed me (on my return five hours later) that today I was working for free for the good of all Thailand's young eager English speakers. I walked away from the office with that wonderful feeling you get when you know you've done your bit for humanity.
Caning my second cigarette of the day (Yes, only my second! At bloody 13:00!), I realised that I'd promised to help a good friend out with a bit of cash a few days back but hadn't had the time to do it. Off I toddle to the bank, get there and forget that bank's aren't open on Saturdays. Whoopie, I get to figure out the transfer thing on the dated machine outside. Juggling phone, iPad and wallet in my hands, I decide to whack the iPad on top of the ATM whilst I get things finished (yes, you know what happens next already). I call my friend to let him know that the money's gone in and continue talking whilst walking away from the machine... "Oy Dingbat! Wot about ya iPad bruvver?" If I had a kid, I would let it know that the iPad has gone to 'Ipaddy Heaven'. I don't... so I remind myself to stop being a forgetful twat.
So here comes my first EVER call for assistance from the police. Due to my previous arrests, they know me well and sat me down with a cup of coffee as usual, just minus the handcuffs this time. They take all my details, but not before I've had to return all the way home (a mere 152 baht there and back) to get my passport. They wouldn't accept as much as a hello until I had my passport details on the counter. I let them know the exact time I was at the ATM by a receipt and ask them to look at the two cameras to identify the 'finders keepers' take and run thief. They inform me that they can't do anything until Monday - when the bank is open. 'Come again? You can't ask the bank manager to come in tomorrow because a theft has taken place on their property?', apparently not. They told me to come back on Tuesday. So, defeated, gutted and wallowing in self pity, I took my police report, scored some weed from the shorter policeman and went home defeated.
So what do you think? Two cameras on the ATM, a twenty minute time frame, in broad daylight and the iPad cover is a very visible bright pink (someone gave it to me... free's free!). Are the Royal Thai Police going to crack this case?

I'm generally a glass half full guy, but on this occasion I have absolute faith that the snatch and grabbers will be caught and prosecuted accordingly. This month, my laptop's kicked the bucket, my TV has acquired 'convergence' problems (unwatchable...double vision) and now my 600 hundred quid iPad's missing, but I'm expecting the latter will be returned to me shortly once the police have conducted their investigation.

Yours truly,
Broke