News of the Weird - this just in!

[Nereus]

Real Boner:

Man's penis turning to bone in freak case stumping medical experts

https://au.news.yahoo.com/mans-penis-tu ... 30108.html

A man whose penis is slowly solidifying unwillingly found himself at the centre of important medical research after he was discovered to be one of just 40 people in the world living with the unfortunate condition.

The 63-year-old unidentified man was admitted to hospital after having a fall, with scans later revealing “extensive, plaque-like calcification” along his entire shaft.

He had initially presented to the emergency department with knee pain and after an examination, was cleared of any serious ailments other than his penis pain, according to a US medical article to be published in full next month.

After a scan on his pelvic region, doctors discovered significant irregularities.
“A pelvic x-ray performed to rule out any fracture showed a severe, asymmetric degenerative changes of the right hip,” a Science Direct article read.

“An extensive, plaque-like calcification along the expected distribution of the penis was evident.
“The diagnosis of penile ossification along the entire penile shaft was suspected.”

The article revealed the patient refused further medical treatment, and left the emergency room against the advice of doctors.

The man, who had a history of alcoholism and walked with a cane, received no further treatment.

The rare condition has been commonly linked to penile deformity, a superficial fibrosing condition of the penis characterised by the presence of a fibrotic plaque.

[handdrummer]

Maybe he's been hanging out with Lot's wife.

[pharvey]

To add to the above ^^...... OUCH!!

Man Hospitalised with Permanent Erection After Being Injected With Drug in His Penis

"A Welsh man has been hospitalised for more than two weeks with a painful condition which has left him with a permanent erection.
Danny Polaris, from Swansea , was told to try an erection enhancing drug which was injected into his penis.
Despite thinking the drug was harmless, Danny was left with a painful erection which is yet to subside and even thought he was on death's door when the pain caused him to black out.
Speaking to PinkNews , jazz singer and sex columnist Danny said: "I was partying at a club, and I took a Viagra before I went.
"I met a nurse, who I went home with, who ended up injecting an erection enhancer into my c**k.
"I didn't want to do it to start with but I consented. I thought, why not, what could possibly go wrong? It's one of the worst decisions of my life."
Waking up the next morning, Danny discovered his erection had not gone down but he initially put off seeking medical help and went to Berlin Pride with his flatmate's wine cooler wrapped around his penis.

A day later, the erection became even more painful and he was taken to hospital "screaming in pain".
Since then, he has been diagnosed with priapism and a number of extremely painful treatments have been tried to reduce the swelling.
This has included driving needles through the side of his penis five times a day, pushing a plastic nail down his urethra without anaesthetic, and emergency surgery involving taking a vein from his leg to draw the blood away.
He has lost so much blood, he required a transfusion.
Despite this, Danny still has an erection two weeks since the injection and remains in hospital on blood thinners.
He said: "Some days I wake up and I just cry about how stupid I was, about what I've lost, about what's going to happen to me.
"I don't know how much it's going to cost to get my penis working how it used to be working.

"Sex is very important to me. I'm a sex writer, I write erotica and edit erotica. I need all the help I can get.
"I don't know what's going to happen in the future... will I have sex again?"
Danny now lives in Berlin, where he was on the night out.
A Go Fund Me page has been set up by a friend to help pay for his treatment and recovery costs, raising more than €500.
But Danny, who is in an open relationship, is worried about the impact on that relationship.
He added: "This is a marathon, and it's going to take me a long time to recover.
"My advice to anyone with a penis is be careful when you take Viagra and don't let anyone come near your c*** with an injection because it's not worth it.""

[handdrummer]

Can he still play jazz?
Would continuous sex help?

[Nereus]

Teddy bears Picnic:
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Six elderly people including woman, 85, arrested for 'sexual activity' in woods

https://au.news.yahoo.com/six-elderly-p ... 32822.html

Six people aged between 62 and 85 are facing sex charges after their arrest in a conservation area.

Police said five men and an 85-year-old woman were caught up in lewd and sexual activity earlier in August in Fairfield, Connecticut.

According to the Connecticut Post, police received multiple complaints of inappropriate behaviour in the Grace Richardson conservation area.

Police also said the area was being advertised on the internet as a place for people to meet up and have sex, which prompted police to put up surveillance in the area.

The Fairfield Police Department’s Quality of Life Unit reportedly observed several violations from breach of peace to public indecency.

Of those arrested were Daniel Dobbins, 67, Otto D. Williams, 62, Charles L. Ardito, 75, John Linartz, 62, Richard Butler, 82, and Joyce Butler, 85.

All of the six people were charged with “breach of peace”, while Dobbins and Linartz were also charged with public indecency, according to the Connecticut Post.

All of the six were released on promises to appear in court.

[handdrummer]

Another article said that the police observed them for 5 hours. I guess they wanted to make sure the people were committing lewd acts. She is 85 and took on 4 men? Woman of year!

[Nereus]

Oops! Excuse me Ma'am:
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The Queen has shared a small joke with a group of unsuspecting American tourists, who had no idea who it was they were speaking too.

Queen Elizabeth II is currently enjoying her annual trip to Balmoral, Scotland, when she happened upon the group of tourists while enjoying a walk on the grounds of Balmoral Castle with her protection officer Richard Griffin.

Richard revealed to The Times, that the group failed to recognise the Queen, who was dressed down wearing tweeds and a headscarf.

The group apparently struck up a conversation asking whether she lived in the area.

Her response was that she indeed had a house nearby, which prompted the group to ask whether she had ever met the Queen.

That’s when Her Majesty joked: “No, but this policeman has”, pointing to Richard.

The group went on their way none the wiser, according to Richard, who has worked closely with the royal family for more than 30 years.

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[Nereus]

Over doing it:
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'Extreme mating' kills tiny marsupials, say researchers

https://www.bangkokpost.com/learning/ea ... esearchers

SYDNEY: A tiny marsupial found only in northwest Australia mates so intensely that an entire generation of males can die off during a single breeding season, researchers reported on Friday.

Biologists studying kalutas -- a mouse-sized marsupial found in the Pilbara region -- believe they die en masse because of sex-driven immune system collapse.

Female kalutas mate frequently and with different males during each breeding season.

"That means that males also have to mate a lot, and have good quality sperm (and lots of it), to outcompete rival males," said Genevieve Hayes, who led the University of Western Australia research team.

"This intense investment in reproduction, evidenced by their large testes, appears to be fatal for males."

"Males were regularly captured in healthy numbers throughout the study, except immediately after the mating seasons, when no males were captured," Hayes said.

"This, coupled with other research in the field and laboratory, strongly suggests that males die after the mating season."

The researchers said that despite the kalutas' "extreme mating behaviour", the species appears to be doing well.

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[PeteC]

We should probably put this in Night Crawlers as a warning to all Soi 80 expat kalutas!

[Nereus]

As the World population increases I guess the number of wackos does as well;
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Men warned against disturbing new trend

https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/toothpas ... 30720.html

Men are being warned not to apply toothpaste to their penises.

While this may seem like obvious advice, applying the dental product to male genitals has become something of a viral trend online lately.

It all started when one man – Jose Barber – claimed in a YouTube video that applying toothpaste to the penis is a method to stave off premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.

The footage has garnered over one million views and the practice has recently been seen trending on both Twitter and Reddit. On the latter, a thread urges: “Please do not use toothpaste on your penis”.


James O’Loan, a pharmacist at Doctor 4 U in the UK, has called the trend “worrying” and warned of the associated dangers.
“I’d urge anyone thinking of trying this rather worrying ‘toothpaste’ technique to cease and desist – because it won’t do anything at all to combat premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, despite the claims being made in these videos,” he tells Yahoo.

“The peppermint oils and other chemicals in toothpaste, including bleaching agents, can be extremely irritating to sensitive skin, by putting it on your genitals you actually risk a mild burn, as well as blisters and scarring. And toothpaste should in no way be used as a lubricant, either,” he adds.

This is yet another bizarre internet trend involving genitalia, which follows in the trend of women apparently putting garlic in their vaginas and also applying chocolate to their private parts.

[handdrummer]

The garlic keeps away the vampires. Would that be regular or organic chocolate?
If one uses toothpaste on one's genitals would you use KY on you're teeth?
Asking for a friend.

[Nereus]

Woman's 'dead' son turns up on doorstep four months after funeral

https://au.news.yahoo.com/womans-dead-s ... 49564.html

A Russian woman was shocked when the son she thought she buried four months earlier showed up on her doorstep.
Baffled cops are at a loss as to what to do because he has now been officially declared dead after his mother identified the body.

They also do not know the identity of the dead man who was cremated.
The son said that he had just gone off to take some time out and "think about the meaning of life".

Antonina Mikhailovna, 62, who is from Kronstadt which is a town located on Kotlin Island just west of St Petersburg, had reported her 43-year-old son Konstantin missing on March 18.

She said he had been missing for six days, and did not know where he was.

She claimed that it was one of the worst days of her life a month later when she then got a call from police saying that they believed they might have found his body, and she was called to the morgue where she positively identified him.

The family, including Konstantin's estranged wife and daughter, then arranged the funeral, which was followed by cremation and his interment in the local cemetery.

But four months later, his mother got a knock on the door, and was stunned when she opened it to find her son standing outside.

She told local media she almost collapsed with shock when she saw the "dead man" standing outside.
Police admit now they are baffled about the best way forward.

“In the morgue of the Frunze district of St Petersburg, the mother, Antonina Mikhailovna identified her son Konstantin as being a dead person who was kept there,” a police spokesman said.

He said that the man had now officially been declared dead, and they have the added problem of not knowing who the dead man was and who had been cremated.

She told police that she was very upset at the time, and apologised for misidentifying the body that she was shown.
"He looked very familiar, and so I confirmed to police that he was my son," she said.

Konstantin, who graduated from military school and worked locally on the island which is a huge naval base, said life got too much for him, and he had needed to take some time out to discover himself.

"I was thinking about the meaning of life, and what I want to do with myself," he said when quizzed by the cops.

He now however needs to work out how to get his life back, and find out who it was that with their death took his old life away.

Police confirmed they are investigating.

[Nereus]

Thieves on the run after stealing solid gold toilet from Winston Churchill's home

https://au.news.yahoo.com/thieves-run-s ... 32881.html

If you're going to do an art heist, perhaps you shouldn't select a target that's as cumbersome and obvious as a solid gold toilet.

A golden toilet was stolen from Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of Winston Churchill, the palace announced on Twitter Saturday. The toilet, an art piece called America, was part of a collection by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan that was on display at Blenheim Palace.

The toilet was stolen from the palace around 4:50 a.m. local time by a group of people, according to a statement from Thames Valley Police. Although police have not yet recovered the toilet, they did arrest a 66-year-old man in connection with the heist.

While it is an art piece, the toilet is actually fully functioning and was hooked up to the palace's plumbing facilities. When the thieves removed it, they caused flooding and significant damage, according to a statement by Detective Inspector Jess Milne obtained by CNN.

SEE ALSO: This art installation combines computer generation and nature

The toilet is estimated to be worth about $5 million, a palace spokesperson told CNN.
Before going on display at Blenhiem Palace, America was on display at the Guggenheim Museum in New York City where it replaced an existing toilet and could be used by visitors.

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[STEVE G]

North-east man in court for farting while bent over during strip search

https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/new ... ip-search/

A man has been ordered to carry out unpaid work after he farted at police during a strip search, telling them: “How do you like that?”
Disgruntled Stuart Cook deliberately broke wind three times during the search after being caught with cannabis.
Depute fiscal Alan Townsend said police attended at the Lang Stracht in Aberdeen following a report of a collision and saw the 28-year-old standing next to a vehicle talking to the driver of another vehicle.

He said: “Officers approached him and smelled cannabis.”
Cook became “irate” when he was handcuffed and began shouting at officers.
A search was carried out of Cook and the vehicle and a small amount of cannabis was discovered.
Cook continued to act in the same way as he was driven to Kittybrewster police station.
He “screamed expletives” and “puffed out his chest towards officers”, the court heard.

At the station he was strip searched and told to bend over.
At a previous hearing, depute fiscal Lucy Simpson described what happened next.
She said he “deliberately farted in the direction of the officer three times, stating, ‘how do you like that?’”.
Cook, of Anne Street, Stonehaven, previously pled guilty to possession of cannabis and to behaving in a threatening or abusive manner by shouting and screaming aggressively, displaying aggressive body language, making a lewd remark towards police and “intentionally flatulating” in the direction of police.

[hhfarang]

Sounds like a Monty Python routine...