Dowry

[sargeant]

Steve g nice one my problem is i have great mrs sarge now but i cant get rid of the old one

[sargeant]

Sorry steve forgot to add ive been on a 9 year road test so far so good in fact so far so bluddy brilliant

p.s and since the mortgage getting better every day

[vincent chang]

a friend of mine got married a couple years ago to an issarn girl. she was in her late 30s, no children, and quite well educated as she was a doctor. he paid a lot of money in the dowry, but he could afford it as his father has a lot of money and he has a good job in america. they are in america now and have a child. so I would say that if you want an educated, non bar girl , type girl from a nice family. expect to pay something to the parents for spending the time and effort it cost to put her through school and raise her right. I on the other hand do not really care how many degrees a girl might hold, or whether or not she has worked at a bar or not. I really like this one girl, she had a kid, lots of tattoos, and smoked. but I liked her. we discussed marriage, and she said she expected no dowry. I think all women want a nice guy who will love them and treat them right. I think thai women want a guy to be generous, and that varies depending on how much you have and what she thinks you might have. Some girls have had a hard life, others, not so hard. but it is important to me how she treats me today and tomorrow and not dwell to much on the past. I think if a girl has had a questionable past, that might be a good thing, as she has learned from it and wont stray down that path again. If you find a "good" girl, she might turn bad and become a bargirl just to get even with you if you are no good. One never knows.

[sargeant]

Where your relationship goes from here on vincent will depend far far more on how YOU treat her than her past. Her treatment of you in most cases will reflect how she feels you treat her and IMHO respect is a vital word in any relationship
anyway good luck we all need some of that

[vincent chang]

Hey, California is not so bad. sure the divorce courts favor the lady, but that is why we call them ladies, they should be treated as such. I got divorced there and handled all the legal stuff myself. I ended up with the house, and the kid, and was able to pay off my wife's share with a credit card. no alimoney, no child support, as I took care of the daughter. 15 years later I sold the house for 4 times what I paid for it, and was able to come to thailand and buy a few houses, one to live in and the others for rental income. California is the place you ought to be . so load up the truck and move to beverly. hills that is, swimming pools , movie stars.

[vincent chang]

seargeant, you are right, it is not about the past, it is about the present and future. I find thai people live in the moment. they dont care too much about your past or your accomplishments, they do care how you treat them at that particular moment. If you behaved badly yesterday, maybe you can get a second chance tomorrow. that is why I like thailand, they will give you a second chance if you screw up the first time.

[nevets]

We got married 10yrs this October in England and stayed for 4.1/2 yrs ,i did not pay any dowry but we had a big party for the family before leaving for u.k. where she had 6months to decide whether she wanted to marry or not . She had a son from her marriage to a Thai man that lasted 18 months he is 20 now with a wife and son of his own . We have had our arguments but still together i think its because my wife is 38 going on 14yrs ,maybe some of you can relate to this. We all pay out from time to time helping with medical bills or new fridge but i don't think we mind to much or we would not be here its a wonderful Kingdom and people are generally good. I like living in Tha -yang growing banana and her family are very good to me.

[Nisakiman]

i think its because my wife is 38 going on 14yrs ,maybe some of you can relate to this.

Ha! Yes, I can relate to that! My wife-to-be is 36 going on 12!

She has also said to me that I will be expected to pay a dowry of 100,000. However, she also said that her parents didn't really want the money off us, and that they would give it back to her quietly after the event. But the money must be paid, and be seen to be paid, or her parents will lose face.

Seems to be the Thai way....

[nevets]

Yes this is done a lot here so that tradition can be upheld , giving part or all of the money back especially in wot the the Thai call a copy marriage where the girl is pregnant and they don't want to stay together after the wedding she stays moor and moor with her parents its done not to lose face . I wish you and your bride a happy life together as you try to understand each others way of life , chockdee krap.