Tom's travels - Hua Hin after dark

[Lost]

I am not sure if Kontiki Bar is where ??? works, she is good fun but has not had a baby herself.

No names, Gus. U know da rules.

[Gus]

Sorry, schoolboy error, 100 lines

[uncle tom]

PS: Hut Bar would be an interesting review.

Your wish is my command - and an excuse to mosey up to the top of Soi 80 last night.

However, The Hut.. - is shut

Not necessarily closed down and gone forever, as the sign and fittings are still there, but as of 8pm last night, the shutters were ajar and there was a light on in the back room. But the bar was in darkness..

Nearby..

Paragon Bar

One of the row of little bars at the top of Soi 80 on the south side.

Wandering up there last night I was struck by the absence of ladyboys in town this year. Their numbers were much reduced last year and now they are almost non-existent (that, or they are getting much better at it.. )

The Paragon is Thai owned and run by a stocky mamasan who looks the part and is about 70 years old. She has around eight girls, five of whom I would not be sorry to wake up with. One girl, the cashier told me, is fresh off the farm and had not been with a customer yet. Judging by her nervous uncertainty I could believe that was true.

Beer, girls and short time room. That's basically it.

A brothel that also sells beer.

[thecolonel]

Tom, are you planning a 'rekky' to Soi 94? would appreciate feedback on bars there
i posted last week re 3 best bars in 94 and got zero replies!
maybe there arent 3 good bars there!! haha

[usual suspect]

There you are Tom...At the top of 80 with eyes fixated on the little bars thinking there are no L/Bs in sight..
Well as it is still Pantomime season, and you're looking into the row of small bars at the top end (All run by the same Mamasan)...the audience here can boldy shout out..
...THEY'RE BEHIND YOU!! 555!
On the opposite side of the street is a raised bar (Kiss-Kiss I think)..& THAT'S where they are..
BEHIND YOU...

[falanglongtime]

PS: Hut Bar would be an interesting review.

Your wish is my command - and an excuse to mosey up to the top of Soi 80 last night.

However, The Hut.. - is shut

Not necessarily closed down and gone forever, as the sign and fittings are still there, but as of 8pm last night, the shutters were ajar and there was a light on in the back room. But the bar was in darkness..

Nearby..

Paragon Bar

One of the row of little bars at the top of Soi 80 on the south side.

Wandering up there last night I was struck by the absence of ladyboys in town this year. Their numbers were much reduced last year and now they are almost non-existent (that, or they are getting much better at it.. )

The Paragon is Thai owned and run by a stocky mamasan who looks the part and is about 70 years old. She has around eight girls, five of whom I would not be sorry to wake up with. One girl, the cashier told me, is fresh off the farm and had not been with a customer yet. Judging by her nervous uncertainty I could believe that was true.

Beer, girls and short time room. That's basically it.

A brothel that also sells beer.

Thanks for visiting, interesting to note that it’s closed. Yes, I liked Paragon bar last year. May have to have another visit.

[uncle tom]

Cheeky Dog pizza

Location: One of many bars and eateries within an entertainment plaza off Soi 88. The entrance to the plaza is about 40m west of the railway on the south side of the road.

Entering the plaza you are greeted by many food kiosks, a large stage and a sea of concrete tables and chairs.This is mainly a Thai entertainment area, but around 30% of those present were of western appearance.

Cheeky Dog is one of the few stands to have clear pricing in English. I ordered a pepperoni pizza for 100 and it was delivered to my table about five minutes later.

It was about 10 inches in diameter, but the thinnest pizza I have ever seen - less than a quarter inch thick. It tasted OK however. I was told there is a better pizza stand near the stage.

This plaza is noted for cheap beer - a large Leo cost me just 55 from a nearby stall, but by comparison, this pizza seemed a poor deal.

[uncle tom]

Mai's massage

Location: Opposite the police station (Soi 61, about 50m from the central traffic lights)

This is one of two massage shops next door to each other, and has a purple livery, the one next door being yellow/green.

A well equipped shop, with proper massage tables of adequate length with face holes.

I've discovered on previous visits that this shop operates a strict 'Hobson's choice' policy so you can't select your masseuse or ask for the one you had on a previous occasion, which can be a little annoying.

The masseuse allocated to me was about 35. I asked for an oil massage.

She asked me if I wanted it strong, soft or medium - I've noticed over the years that the words 'gentle' and 'hard' tend not to be in the massage ladies' vocabulary.

Massage was professional, with long attention to my head and a lengthy final section where you sit Buddha like as the masseuse tries to break your collar bones.

This shop has never previously offered me extras, but this lady quietly asked me 'can do him?' - which I declined.

The shop next door incidentally, when visited a year ago, is less well equipped with floor mattresses instead of massage tables, but has a small 'private room' which is offered to customers on a 'nod nod, wink wink' basis..

Cost of the massage was 300 - I tipped 40

One of the better shops in town.

[dtaai-maai]

This shop has never previously offered me extras, but this lady quietly asked me 'can do him?' - which I declined.

With your reputation, I'm surprised you don't get offered extras in the Post Office!

[stretch]

Him did she mean your mate

[Lost]

This shop has never previously offered me extras, but this lady quietly asked me 'can do him?' - which I declined.

With your reputation, I'm surprised you don't get offered extras in the Post Office!

[usual suspect]

Cheeky Dog Pizza at Ban Khun Por DOES have a sign (that Nok Yai reliably informs me) Saying 'We offer the thinnest pizzas'
Now I only ever eat thick pizzas, and to me Cheeky Dog's offerings are good value at 100b

[uncle tom]

Father Ted's

Location: Nearly opposite the end of Poonsuk Rd on Soi 61 (south side)

I've walked past this place probably fifty times more often than I've ventured inside, and have to concede that it's well patronised, however the wisdom of Thumper made me wonder whether I should review this place at all..

However, as the owner (rescuer..) of an English village pub, let me confine my general lack of enthusiasm for this establishment to a few positive suggestions:

1) There are six seats at the bar and a TV on the wall behind, But only two people can get an unobstructed view of the TV due to the nine massive and ugly beer taps on the bar.

- Every brewer the world over makes oval badges for T bars. Get rid of those monsters and install three, triple gang, low level T bars instead, that people (and the staff) can see over.

2) The staff struggle to fill glasses, leaning over the kegs dotted around the floor of the serving area. It looks messy and very unprofessional.

- Find a separate place to put the kegs and install a python (a multi gang refrigerated conduit system for the beer lines)

3) The wicker and steel high stools at the bar and elsewhere, look quite tidy and are widely used in bars in the LoS, but they are an ergonomic nightmare. The distance between the footrest bar and the seat is too great, so people's feet don't give enough support, causing the hard leading edge of the seat to impact the underside of people's legs.

- Putting cushions on this type of seat makes a huge difference.

4) Stackable plastic stools may be cheap and easy to handle, but they also look cheap and are not very comfortable.

- Invest in upholstered button top stools instead. If you can't find the right ones in Thailand, contact Drakes in the UK and get them to ship some out to you.

At Father Ted's, a burger and chips plus a pint of Leo costs 335. The same meal and drink at Limelight bar costs 275. Admittedly, Limelight has no aircon, but I personally think FT needs to do a little more to justify the difference.

[uncle tom]

Airborne bar

Location: In the Soi that links Bintabaht with Selakam. It has no name sign on the road and on Google Earth appears as Selakam Road, but is locally known as Soi Katoey. The bar is roughly midway down.

This bar has been owned for the past two years by a Swiss guy called Roger with his Thai wife acting as manager.

Although the bar has a few girls, you could not describe her as a mamasan. She is an overtly friendly lady, and her relaxed but efficient attitude rubs off on the staff.

The seating in the bar is practical and comfortable, although the 'barber shop' style chairs at the bar itself are a little clumsy, and the pricing is generally competitive for the area. It prides itself as being the only bar on the bloc to have a 'proper' coffee machine.

The bar has happy hour discounts until 9pm, but this watershed appears to be a little flexible.

A nice detail is that the bar has two bells - one hanging from the ceiling for which normal rules apply, and a tiny one on the bar if you just want to treat the girls.

Another quirk is the knitted bottle holders - often called condoms - which the boss knits herself when trade is slack.

A good bar, and well worth a visit.

[uncle tom]

Ten years ago I encountered a young college student in Hua Hin who had come off her bike and grazed her leg.

Ten years on and she wanted to take me out for dinner, but wouldn't tell me where; so I got in her car and she took me to this place:

Let's Sea

Location: On the seafront about 1Km north of Khao Takiab. There's a lack of road names and numbers in this area but the place is quite well signed.

A very high end restaurant with a balcony overlooking the crashing surf. I felt slightly under-dressed.

Excellent service and the food was both excellent and well presented. There were also some original novelties, such as being offered a selection of steak knives to choose from.

She refused to let me see the bill, but I clocked on the credit card terminal that the total came to 3000 and something.

Clearly not cheap, but a very good venue for a romantic dinner.