I had an interesting encounter yesterday. Met a new neighbour, who's wife and children are educated, well mannered and a pleasure to talk to.
My g/f said hello and then, clearly out of her depth, made her excuses and wandered off.
This brings me to wonder how many men, with uneducated village girls, who ordinarily find them a delight, find themselves in social situations where a shiny light exposes their lack of sophistication?
How do you feel? Are you embarrassed? Have you never given it a thought? Do you avoid similar encounters? Does she stay at home? Are you yearning for a partner who you can talk to? Is she just eye candy? Or is she the sharpest knife in the drawer who has just not read Solzhenitsyn?
Pray tell.
Over-painted Village Girl vs Educated Modern Miss?
I presume the new neighbours are Thai?
I certainly would feel embarrassed if a village girl felt out of her depth, but embarrassed because she felt out of the depth and needed to make her excuses and leave, not because of her lack of education. I would hope that a family who have had the benefit of a better education would ensure that any village girlfriend I had did not feel uncomfortable in their company.
I think that it would be for me to give the girl all the support she needed to either improve her education or at least not feel out of place in the company of the new neighbours. I sometimes feel out of place by my lack of Thai, but good friends ensure that I am included, and understand the conversations.
I have a girlfriend from a village in the NE who though she doesn't have a great education is addressing that by going to college every weekend as well as evening classes two nights a week, whilst holding down a job. OK she does not have the depth of knowledge that some people who have had the benefit of a higher education have and sometimes feels uncomfortable in company, but that is due to her level of English, but she normally holds her own.
I certainly wouldn't leave my girlfriend at home and we continue to mix with friends from all social and educational levels. It is a learning experience for both of us and we both have to make adjustments.
I certainly would feel embarrassed if a village girl felt out of her depth, but embarrassed because she felt out of the depth and needed to make her excuses and leave, not because of her lack of education. I would hope that a family who have had the benefit of a better education would ensure that any village girlfriend I had did not feel uncomfortable in their company.
I think that it would be for me to give the girl all the support she needed to either improve her education or at least not feel out of place in the company of the new neighbours. I sometimes feel out of place by my lack of Thai, but good friends ensure that I am included, and understand the conversations.
I have a girlfriend from a village in the NE who though she doesn't have a great education is addressing that by going to college every weekend as well as evening classes two nights a week, whilst holding down a job. OK she does not have the depth of knowledge that some people who have had the benefit of a higher education have and sometimes feels uncomfortable in company, but that is due to her level of English, but she normally holds her own.
I certainly wouldn't leave my girlfriend at home and we continue to mix with friends from all social and educational levels. It is a learning experience for both of us and we both have to make adjustments.
I think appearance plays a big part too, Thai society puts a great deal of importance on appearance. If the girl is wearing skimpy clothing, more gold than Mr T, and her partner is over twice her age the neighbours - educated or not - will draw their own conclusions before they ever speak.
If on the other hand she is well presented and well mannered they will have a tough job guessing at a level of education.
If on the other hand she is well presented and well mannered they will have a tough job guessing at a level of education.
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
re; Over-painted Village Girl vs Educated Modern Miss?
My g/f withdraws simply to let me talk as she knows I rarely have the opportunity and she doesn't have the vocabulary or knowledge of the outside world to be able to participate. So in that sense she was 'out of her depth'.
She has never been made to feel unwelcome by foreigners but she has by 'Hi-So' Thais who, in a multicultural situation, had no problems with foreigners who didn't have a penny to their name and who were of questionable character. They even had darker skin. I was offended for her.
She's no academic nor is she an ignoramus. Just a decent intelligent girl, with a good heart. I consider myself fortunate.
The post did reflect a slight tinge of regret that she couldn't participate and a memory of a relationship with a 'dumb blonde' who I fell for, for all the wrong reasons and was always going to end. You can only talk for so long about what's for dinner, before your brain atrophies. Yes, I did feel embarrassed with her. Of course, alone with her at home, you don't have to think about it.
I believe it is an interesting question, in as much as I have been to countries like Russia, where there are highly educated women still 'on the shelf' at 30+ since the men, I was informed, don't enjoy the challenge.
Of course there are shades of grey and there is another question there... are you happy with your unsophisticated village girl or do you wish you had a modern miss? If you have a modern miss, do you wish you had a village girl?
She has never been made to feel unwelcome by foreigners but she has by 'Hi-So' Thais who, in a multicultural situation, had no problems with foreigners who didn't have a penny to their name and who were of questionable character. They even had darker skin. I was offended for her.
She's no academic nor is she an ignoramus. Just a decent intelligent girl, with a good heart. I consider myself fortunate.
The post did reflect a slight tinge of regret that she couldn't participate and a memory of a relationship with a 'dumb blonde' who I fell for, for all the wrong reasons and was always going to end. You can only talk for so long about what's for dinner, before your brain atrophies. Yes, I did feel embarrassed with her. Of course, alone with her at home, you don't have to think about it.
I believe it is an interesting question, in as much as I have been to countries like Russia, where there are highly educated women still 'on the shelf' at 30+ since the men, I was informed, don't enjoy the challenge.
Of course there are shades of grey and there is another question there... are you happy with your unsophisticated village girl or do you wish you had a modern miss? If you have a modern miss, do you wish you had a village girl?
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little imp
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I believe that the education won't judge people.
Good heart and sincerity are what you should look for.
It's a pity that Farang men seem to come here with the desperate to have a Thai girl in accompany. That's why some are lucky and most of them don't.
My suggestion is to use your eyes, brain and heart to work together for this matter.
Good heart and sincerity are what you should look for.
It's a pity that Farang men seem to come here with the desperate to have a Thai girl in accompany. That's why some are lucky and most of them don't.
My suggestion is to use your eyes, brain and heart to work together for this matter.
My wife had a very limited education - just 1 year. However, she has taught herself to read & write Thai. She can speak several languages (at least 3 fluently).
Education simply gives you knowledge of whatever you were taught, and maybe the ability to research what you were not. I believe my wife has gained her degree from the University of Life. She is very intelligent, and learns very quickly. I've never known her to be out of her depth talking to anybody - in fact if you're not educated, you probably have to ask more questions/get involved in a conversation.
Could I be so bold to suggest that the OP was a little self-concious about his wife's lack of education. I was probably the same for the first few years until I realised that intelligence is not down to how many exams you've passed.
Education simply gives you knowledge of whatever you were taught, and maybe the ability to research what you were not. I believe my wife has gained her degree from the University of Life. She is very intelligent, and learns very quickly. I've never known her to be out of her depth talking to anybody - in fact if you're not educated, you probably have to ask more questions/get involved in a conversation.
Could I be so bold to suggest that the OP was a little self-concious about his wife's lack of education. I was probably the same for the first few years until I realised that intelligence is not down to how many exams you've passed.
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Great post BBBig Boy wrote:My wife had a very limited education - just 1 year. However, she has taught herself to read & write Thai. She can speak several languages (at least 3 fluently).
Education simply gives you knowledge of whatever you were taught, and maybe the ability to research what you were not. I believe my wife has gained her degree from the University of Life. She is very intelligent, and learns very quickly. I've never known her to be out of her depth talking to anybody - in fact if you're not educated, you probably have to ask more questions/get involved in a conversation.
Could I be so bold to suggest that the OP was a little self-concious about his wife's lack of education. I was probably the same for the first few years until I realised that intelligence is not down to how many exams you've passed.
It really gets up my nose when i get some farang say to me " excuse the girlfriend or mrs she don't understand to much she's a bit stupid" this has happend on a number of times.
One thing i really standby is, never under estimate your partners full potential, the three years my wife has been in the U.K she has learnt so much and it's an absolute pleasure for us.
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Bamboo Grove
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Couldn´t agree more with you BB. I myself have master´s and what am I doing? Freezing my a..e out here in Finland and keeping miself warm with whiskey.Education simply gives you knowledge of whatever you were taught, and maybe the ability to research what you were not. I believe my wife has gained her degree from the University of Life. She is very intelligent, and learns very quickly. I've never known her to be out of her depth talking to anybody - in fact if you're not educated, you probably have to ask more questions/get involved in a conversation.
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migrant
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My wife finished college in Thailand, was brought over here to the US by her Thai husband. Here she was kept in the house, not taught to drive, etc.
Husband passed away and she enrolled in english classes, driving school. Then got herself a job to support herself.
From that job she got a second, part-time job AND started in adult education here.
She's amazing
Husband passed away and she enrolled in english classes, driving school. Then got herself a job to support herself.
From that job she got a second, part-time job AND started in adult education here.
She's amazing
I've had the pleasure of meeting your wife BB and as you so well said yourself; that woman has more brain than you and I combined!!
Well, maybe you didn't say that but she's a wonderful person and more than intelligent enough to keep most of us busy searching for the answer in encyclopedia Britannica, just to find out she was correct!!!
Hell man, you're lucky!!!
Well, maybe you didn't say that but she's a wonderful person and more than intelligent enough to keep most of us busy searching for the answer in encyclopedia Britannica, just to find out she was correct!!!
Hell man, you're lucky!!!
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
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Great post BB
It really gets up my nose when i get some farang say to me " excuse the girlfriend or mrs she don't understand to much she's a bit stupid" this has happend on a number of times.[/quote]
At times like this one might want to ask joe falang, "Who is paying who here, brighteyes?"
When I went to high school we were led to believe the university-bound kids were the bright ones and the others who did "shops" were below par.
Many years later I realize that the "below pars" can actually do things like build their own house, plumb it and wire it and have pretty well always made a very good living, unlike some of the "bright ones who ended up sharpening pencils in government cublicle farms.
Great post BB
It really gets up my nose when i get some farang say to me " excuse the girlfriend or mrs she don't understand to much she's a bit stupid" this has happend on a number of times.[/quote]
At times like this one might want to ask joe falang, "Who is paying who here, brighteyes?"
When I went to high school we were led to believe the university-bound kids were the bright ones and the others who did "shops" were below par.
Many years later I realize that the "below pars" can actually do things like build their own house, plumb it and wire it and have pretty well always made a very good living, unlike some of the "bright ones who ended up sharpening pencils in government cublicle farms.
One of neighbours come down to HH from the big city on occasional weekends. This was one of them.
The husband hasn't ever spoken a word to me in four years - don't blame him, he's a pilot.
His wife is sufferable and gets on reasonably well with my wife when she's here. That's it really, until tonight.
The pilot was absent and his wife joined us for a drink. I noticed a few things:
Despite how bad my Thai is, I could understand roughly what was being said - Mrs pilot knew that.
Photos of England from two years ago came out - Mrs pilot had never been there, or anywhere.
Coffee table photo books of Thailand, China, SE Asia and the UK came out for her to look at - she hadn't got a clue.
She wanted some help on the internet, so I showed her - she didn't understand.
The only person who was embarrassed was my wife. This "big" person was down from BKK and was shown up for all the falsity she was.
To hell with the hi-so's.
The husband hasn't ever spoken a word to me in four years - don't blame him, he's a pilot.
His wife is sufferable and gets on reasonably well with my wife when she's here. That's it really, until tonight.
The pilot was absent and his wife joined us for a drink. I noticed a few things:
Despite how bad my Thai is, I could understand roughly what was being said - Mrs pilot knew that.
Photos of England from two years ago came out - Mrs pilot had never been there, or anywhere.
Coffee table photo books of Thailand, China, SE Asia and the UK came out for her to look at - she hadn't got a clue.
She wanted some help on the internet, so I showed her - she didn't understand.
The only person who was embarrassed was my wife. This "big" person was down from BKK and was shown up for all the falsity she was.
To hell with the hi-so's.