There is no doubt this sort of thing goes on, and as bill says a fool and their money are soon parted. However I think it would be wrong to say that all bargirls are engaging in such activity, and equally I would say that there are many who have serious pressure exerted on them by their families to provide for them, so their fathers and brothers can get away with being lazy good-for-nothings and can maintain their supplies of Sang Som and mia nois. That said there are some who are plain greedy and extract cash from farangs to ensure a luxury lifestyle, but I do think these are in the minority.
I have spoken to many bargirls, and some of them are desperately unhappy but feel they must support their family, despite being poorly educated and unqualified to get a good job, so it is virtually their only option of earning enough money. Westerners will think 'why don't they tell their family to f*** off' but things don't work like that here, although I have come across some girls who have taken that very drastic step. A lot of them have had a kid or two with a former Thai boyfriend or husband who has then cleared off, and then they rely on their Mum, Grandmother or other relatives to look after these kids without any support from the father. There are many suicide attempts amongst these girls as well, and the main reason is that they feel they have 'failed' their family, and are ashamed of what they are doing. Many of them lie to their families about what they are doing too.
I am not trying to defend what goes on, but many people read these threads who may never have been to Thailand, or haven't known about this, and I just wanted to give a bit of balance to the topic.
my girlfriend from Pattaya
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Guess
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I agree with all of Khun Wander's reply. I would like to add that I have also seen evidence of anybody from motorcy taxi boyfriend to organised crime putting pressure on girls to pay money.
The quickest way to stop this is by not sending them money in the first place. In many parts of Thailand ther is an accute labour shortage. Hua Hin is one of them. To work in many jobs there is no requirement to read and write or speak any English so poverty is no excuse.
While ignorant girls are prepared to lie on their backs for money and stupid foreigners send them money from abroad the practice will continue.
The market is as guilty as the supplier.
The quickest way to stop this is by not sending them money in the first place. In many parts of Thailand ther is an accute labour shortage. Hua Hin is one of them. To work in many jobs there is no requirement to read and write or speak any English so poverty is no excuse.
While ignorant girls are prepared to lie on their backs for money and stupid foreigners send them money from abroad the practice will continue.
The market is as guilty as the supplier.
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
I knew this debate would kick off.
I agree with the fact that some thai BGs are being pressurised by their thai boyfriends for money. However I too have been in the internet cafe in HH and noticed them sending 'bleeding heart' emails send me xxxxx amount of baht! I've had phone calls from a girl I had a one night stand with once telling me the tallest tale ever. I cut her short and said 'you after money?' 'Yes' She replied! 'Not a chance!' Was my answer!
Hung up.
I remember first coming to thailand in 2000 and this elderly possibly a 'retired' BG said to me, 'Don't give money to bar girls! They will suck your money! Like vampire!'
It's more than a minority, its an institution! The amazing thing is a lot of suckers fall for it!
But at the end of the day falangs aint gonna stop coming here for the girls!
I agree with the fact that some thai BGs are being pressurised by their thai boyfriends for money. However I too have been in the internet cafe in HH and noticed them sending 'bleeding heart' emails send me xxxxx amount of baht! I've had phone calls from a girl I had a one night stand with once telling me the tallest tale ever. I cut her short and said 'you after money?' 'Yes' She replied! 'Not a chance!' Was my answer!
Hung up. I remember first coming to thailand in 2000 and this elderly possibly a 'retired' BG said to me, 'Don't give money to bar girls! They will suck your money! Like vampire!'
It's more than a minority, its an institution! The amazing thing is a lot of suckers fall for it!
But at the end of the day falangs aint gonna stop coming here for the girls!
Read this thread again. Gotta applaud Wanderlust and Guess for their first hand knowledge and breaking it down for the uninitiated. This subject has become a bit of a science on other boards but nice to see it being addressed here...in a local context.
I'm a repeat tourist who reads too much, so what the hell do I know. But the more you assimilate the more you opinionate.
To me it depends on what you want. If you're looking for the perfect girl/relationship then you're going to be vulnerable to the varied, and sometimes intricate, scams the girls dream up. Some are obvious (the girl and the scam), but others require a wee bit of experience.
So far, I'm in the opposite camp.... ain't met a girl yet that's got under my skin. But that might change. Love them to bits (!), laugh with them, treat em good....what you give is what you get, IMHO.
Keep this thread going (or start a new one)....it's all good.
I'm a repeat tourist who reads too much, so what the hell do I know. But the more you assimilate the more you opinionate.
To me it depends on what you want. If you're looking for the perfect girl/relationship then you're going to be vulnerable to the varied, and sometimes intricate, scams the girls dream up. Some are obvious (the girl and the scam), but others require a wee bit of experience.
So far, I'm in the opposite camp.... ain't met a girl yet that's got under my skin. But that might change. Love them to bits (!), laugh with them, treat em good....what you give is what you get, IMHO.
Keep this thread going (or start a new one)....it's all good.
Never trust a hippy....
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Guess
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They actually had four in the UK. Hear they are along with the release dates:Heebio wrote:PS. Name The Jam's three number one singles...?
Going Underground 22/3/80
Start 23/8/80
Town Called Malice 13/2/82
Beat Surrender 4/12/82
Other top ten hits were:
Funeral Pyre
Five O'clock Hero
Absolute Beginners
The Bitterest Pill
The Eton Rifles
Does this fully answer you question?
[color=blue][size=134]Care in the community success story.[/size][/color]
Scams? Ok, I'll break my silence on this topic.
Imagine going up to Issan with the g/f and getting arrested and facing 15 years to life? The specifics of this, I'm not going to go into.
After 3 months, the charges against the farang are dropped. However, the g/f is still " in the process"
He gets a call when back in his country one time, explaining that the g/f has been sentenced to 5 years or 1 million Baht fine.
That was a good one. No money changed hands and the farang has no idea if this story was true or not. More to the point, he dosn't care anymore.
It was all so believable, bearing in mind the presence of the police and incarceration for the night and then court and then bail etc etc.
I've just seen that Guess has answered you question re The Jam.
This is a good thread, folks. Try to keep it on topic.
Imagine going up to Issan with the g/f and getting arrested and facing 15 years to life? The specifics of this, I'm not going to go into.
After 3 months, the charges against the farang are dropped. However, the g/f is still " in the process"
He gets a call when back in his country one time, explaining that the g/f has been sentenced to 5 years or 1 million Baht fine.
That was a good one. No money changed hands and the farang has no idea if this story was true or not. More to the point, he dosn't care anymore.
It was all so believable, bearing in mind the presence of the police and incarceration for the night and then court and then bail etc etc.
I've just seen that Guess has answered you question re The Jam.
This is a good thread, folks. Try to keep it on topic.
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Guess
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Presisely. If you want to take out a BG, up toyou. It is just the same as renting a car. Do not get in any way emoltioanlly involved. A BG is BG and will never be anything else. Many here in Thailand are very friendly unlike the scabby slappers that you see hanging around Kings Cross in London, 42nd street in New York and a load moregrotty places all over Farangland.Heebio wrote: To me it depends on what you want.
A perfect girl/relationship, if that is humanly possible, is no different here than anywhere else in the world.Heebio wrote: If you're looking for the perfect girl/relationship then you're going to be vulnerable to the varied, and sometimes intricate, scams the girls dream up. Some are obvious (the girl and the scam), but others require a wee bit of experience.
It has to be made clear though that it will never be started in a bar in Thailand or on the streets of King's Cross.
In Thailand you can take a girl out of a bar for as long as you can afford it but you will never in a million years take the bar out of the girl.
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Wanderlust
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That's definitely a good maxim to approach the situation with, but it is definitely not 100% true of all BGs, just a good proportion of them. I do believe that ordinary poorer Thai girls may also try some of these scams as well, so it is not so cut and dried as 'danger with bar girls, safe with non-BG'. I have been told many times of girls working in shops, restaurants, hotels, offices, factories etc who also try to get money from their farang b/f as well. It probably also happens in homosexual Thai/farang relationships too, but I cannot verify that!In Thailand you can take a girl out of a bar for as long as you can afford it but you will never in a million years take the bar out of the girl.
I met a girl in a bar in Pattaya and stayed with her for a long time.
I have now back in Denmark and keep in touch with mobile phone.
I have send her money about 1000 Euros every month. Now she say that she need more because her father has aids and she want to send him America for cure.
I am not sure to believe her.
What does anybody think.
I have now back in Denmark and keep in touch with mobile phone.
I have send her money about 1000 Euros every month. Now she say that she need more because her father has aids and she want to send him America for cure.
I am not sure to believe her.
What does anybody think.
Pomme Ruk Kwai
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Bamboo Grove
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I'd check and recheck the situation and be cautios. I've never heard that they've found a cure to Aids in US. There are medications to the disease which keep it somehow under control but I think they are available in Thailand as well. To be honest, you are already sending a lot. Most Thais get by with much less than that amount. I really don't have good vibes about this.
Back in Bamboo Grove
http://bamboogrovestories.blogspot.com/
http://bamboogrovestories.blogspot.com/
KwaiYai,
What's that in Baht then? About 40,000 a month?
Assuming you're not a troll, do not part yourself any further with your wallet, or else you're on a slippery slope to nowhere.
As BG has pointed out, antivetroviral drugs are available in Thailand for the princly sum of 30 baht a month.
One of Mr T's better policies, but how long it'll last is another thing.
There is no cure for now. Just a steadying of the CD4 count.
What's that in Baht then? About 40,000 a month?
Assuming you're not a troll, do not part yourself any further with your wallet, or else you're on a slippery slope to nowhere.
As BG has pointed out, antivetroviral drugs are available in Thailand for the princly sum of 30 baht a month.
One of Mr T's better policies, but how long it'll last is another thing.
There is no cure for now. Just a steadying of the CD4 count.
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Wanderlust
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KwaiYai,
If you are really interested in pursuing a relationship with this girl, you might want to consider hiring one of the many private detectives that will find out what your girl is up to, and whether her story holds water. Frankly I don't believe it and the amount of money you are sending is, in my opinion, quite excessive, but that is your decision. Another option would be to pay her a surprise visit, and go and see her father - her reaction to this may tell you all you need to know. You could also not send the money one or two months explaining that you have a family emergency of your own, and see how she reacts to that. Don't forget the average monthly income in Thailand is under 10000 baht a month.
Good luck.
If you are really interested in pursuing a relationship with this girl, you might want to consider hiring one of the many private detectives that will find out what your girl is up to, and whether her story holds water. Frankly I don't believe it and the amount of money you are sending is, in my opinion, quite excessive, but that is your decision. Another option would be to pay her a surprise visit, and go and see her father - her reaction to this may tell you all you need to know. You could also not send the money one or two months explaining that you have a family emergency of your own, and see how she reacts to that. Don't forget the average monthly income in Thailand is under 10000 baht a month.
Good luck.
Kwai yai,
I would have thought (any US readers can put both me and you straight on this) that a poor (presumably rural) Thai applying for a visa to the US for AIDS treatment stands about as much chance of success as a pork butcher in a mosque. Wouldn't you have to demonstrate your financial commitment to the ongoing treatment? As far as I know there is no national health service in the US that would be prepared to finance the treatment of an immigrant and, in addition, award an entry visa on that basis!
You would be much better off applying for a UK visa because here we have a 'free' national health service that is more than welcoming to 'healthcare tourists!' My granny will no doubt be in the queue for her hip replacement five years down the line from your father in law's AIDS treatment!
Seriously, as others have posted, 1000 Euros a month is way too much already. Time to re-read the original post in this thread! And speaking of back-tracking, Guess, now that you have hopefully calmed down what exactly prompted your off the wall political rant earlier in this thread? Just for fun - I'm still bemused!
I would have thought (any US readers can put both me and you straight on this) that a poor (presumably rural) Thai applying for a visa to the US for AIDS treatment stands about as much chance of success as a pork butcher in a mosque. Wouldn't you have to demonstrate your financial commitment to the ongoing treatment? As far as I know there is no national health service in the US that would be prepared to finance the treatment of an immigrant and, in addition, award an entry visa on that basis!
You would be much better off applying for a UK visa because here we have a 'free' national health service that is more than welcoming to 'healthcare tourists!' My granny will no doubt be in the queue for her hip replacement five years down the line from your father in law's AIDS treatment!
Seriously, as others have posted, 1000 Euros a month is way too much already. Time to re-read the original post in this thread! And speaking of back-tracking, Guess, now that you have hopefully calmed down what exactly prompted your off the wall political rant earlier in this thread? Just for fun - I'm still bemused!