Sargeants humour thread

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GLCQuantum
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by GLCQuantum »

I found it quite funny... :D

Sarge, does 'Sweetcheeks' realise that there is a whole thread devoted to what you and her get up to for all to see on the World Wide Web.

Doubt she'd be too pleased if I know my Thai ladies right.

:cheers:

Anonymous posts are fine of course but you have posted her picture on this here forum too! Doubt she'd be too chuffed with that either.

Just saying like....
sargeant
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by sargeant »

i am not sirry i dont hit submit until i have approval from the

obergripping fhurer :bow: :bow: :bow:

edit may i add i am taking the pee out of MYSELF not my lovely wife :oops: :oops: :oops:
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sargeant
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by sargeant »

Changed our bike ride sched yesty we came back from Paknampran via Barrys evil bridge and then reverse killer hill
FOR ONCE i was going at a gasp but in front of her and halfway up and she calls out she wants a pee jesus i got all my gears wrong and was peddling concrete for the last 100 meters as she serenely rode past without a care or bead of sweat to be seen.
When we got on the downhill i harangued her about putting me of my "A" game

Today decided a same route only this time I that is ME got halfway up and i am breaking my neck for a dribble i was about to utter when self preservation stopped me god i thought just how many times will she say som nam nah before we got home

Stoopid pride made me hang on to my urine until i got home it was a close call :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Big Boy
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by Big Boy »

sargeant wrote:Today decided a same route only this time I that is ME got halfway up and i am breaking my neck for a dribble i was about to utter when self preservation stopped me god i thought just how many times will she say som nam nah before we got home

Stoopid pride made me hang on to my urine until i got home it was a close call :roll: :roll: :roll:
Sarge, I know that I've told this story in a few places, but I don't remember if I told it on the forum. If my experience is anything to go by, you need to be very careful.

A couple of weeks ago I was having an operation on my leg. My anaesthetic was only local, but I was tied to the operating table (crucifix style), and there was a saline drip going into me. Following an operation the previous week we discovered that a saline drip makes me pee a lot.

So I'm laying there with a big screen between me and whatever it is they are doing to my leg. Vital signs monitor one side of my head, and a nubile young anaesthetist the other side. We were having a sort of conversation with her trying to keep me calm. The duration of the operation was 1 hour and 30 minutes.

About 45 minutes into the op, I get the first indication that I needed a pee. Now that is a feeling that doesn't just go away. The more I needed to go, the more my blood pressure went up. The anaesthetist is telling me to keep calm, and I eventually told her that it was because I needed a pee. Each time that band tightened on my arm the higher the reading came back. Eventually, the alarm bells sounded (literally). I was expecting them to start jumping up and down on my chest, or get the electric paddles out. My companion is talking quite frantically with the doctor, and she says about 5 minutes more - then she disappeared. A couple of minutes later, she says, "When I say yes, you pee." You have to remember that I was tied to the table, and couldn't help myself. She got busy with a bottle.

She eventually said yes, and I let fly in full view of the anaesthetist, the surgeon and 5 theatre nurses. Within 3 tightenings of the blood pressure sleeve, my blood pressure had returned to normal.

Now, I don't know if my raised blood pressure was a natural reaction to badly needing a pee. However, I personally will not be holding on any longer that necessary in future - it was quite scary.

I would recommend the next time you're trying to avoid a barrage of som nam nah on the journey home, you reflect back on the above.
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by Dannie Boy »

The lengths some people will go to, just to get a nubile anaesthetist to take them in hand!! :wink:
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by Big Boy »

:agree: :oops: :oops: :oops:
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by sargeant »

When had my hernia op every time the nurses changed the dressings my lovely lady was right in there moving it around for them :roll: :roll: :D :D

When some of the internal/dissolvable stitches did NOT dissolve and went septic she watched once and then said she would do it at home :wink: :wink: :naughty: :naughty:
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sargeant
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Re: Sargeants humour thread

Post by sargeant »

I have decided after a long period of failing to paste a photo to try and explain to those that may have not understood the following previous post
this morning i had come home after my bicycle ride showered and was just about halfway into a mug of tea :D :D
My wife was outside sweeping the street :shock: :shock: our patch is cleaner than an operating theatre god knows why but its her thing :? :? :?
I heard a loud call from sweetcheeks
"Dabe you got a big one" at first i felt quite proud :D :D :wink: :wink: then shocked :shock: :shock: it was shouted from the middle of the street :oops: :oops:
"come here you got a big one " she called :roll: :roll: :roll:
I moved my butt with chest puffed out to see her in the street pointing at the roof :? :?
"darling i said its all very well telling everybody i have a big one but you should tell them i need a viagra to get it kickstarted :naughty: :naughty: :naughty:
"No stoopid you got a big F**K" :shock: :shock:
Now thats going to far i thought then :idea: i realised what was going down :oops: :oops:
I grow vegetables and the green marrow looking thing is called a F**K i had almost give up on them and believed all my flowers were gay
anyway it was 1.3 kilos and we are having it for tea tonight :D :D
To those that do NOT know what a nerve tingling spine shattering f**k is it is the green vegetable on the workmate

it is not the lightly clad in red vegatable stood behind them
IMG_0593b.JPG
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