Adopting a Thai child

Post by **Lily** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:55 am

Hi,
As there are quite a few Thai/Westerner couples here I am hoping that someone may be able to help friends of mine. The Thai lady has a young child from a previous relationship.She has now married a westerner and is shortly to be giving birth to their child. Her husband adores her existing child and would really like to legally adopt him. They have been told that he can do this but only if his wife ( the child's mother) gives up all her rights to her son which would mean that if anything happened to her husband she could also lose her son.
Has anyone had any dealings with this type of thing and, if so, is there a solution. They are a lovely couple who really want both of their children
to share the same surname. The child, by the way, adores the father too and already classes him as his daddy.

[Admin edit: title typo correction]

Post by **buksida** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:06 am

A friend of mine has done it and it was far from easy, I don't have full details - only what he has told me in conversation. Yes the biological parents need to sign a lot of forms releasing the child, the farang needs to have a criminal record check from his own embassy. There will be a lot of social visits from the local welfare department to ensure that it is a 'happy living environment' for the child. The whole process took around three years, it may differ in your friends situation, this was for a Canadian citizen.

Post by **BaaBaa.** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:44 pm

buksida wrote:The whole process took around three years, it may differ in your friends situation, this was for a Canadian citizen.

I have heard it said that some adapt quicker than others.

Post by **migrant** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:18 pm

I looked into the details a while back so I'll post this as a "I think"

Different rules depend on age of child.

For infants I think I remember that the husband must be under 45(?) and wife shown to be infertile.

If you google "adoption Thailand" I believe you will find the info I did. A little short on time this morning or I would look.

Post by **Jaime** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:26 pm

Lily - where are your friends based? In Thailand or in the UK?

I feel the need to ask the question; if they all live together as a family then why the need for a formal adoption? Names, including surnames of children & step-children can simply be changed by deed poll in the UK and names are changed willy nilly in Thailand.

Post by **DawnHRD** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:05 pm

Not criticising, but maybe a mod could change 'adapting' in the title to 'adopting'. It might generate more interest or relevant replies. Hope I'm not overstepping.

Post by **STEVE G** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:24 pm

I would like to echo what Jaime said above; is it really all that important to have a legal adoption?
I’ve taken on the care of my partners son, and my closest friends in Thailand all have done the same thing with their partners children, but none of us has gone through the process of legal adoption and never really felt the need to.
Perhaps the friends of the OP are in a different situation, but in Thailand it seems to be acceptable to live together quite happily without going through all this legal rigmarole.

Post by **HHTel** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:13 am

Some years ago in the UK, I looked at adopting my wife's child, who was already living with us, but turned out to be quite involved. Also as the poster says, the child's real mother has to adopt her own child changing her own status.
We were advised just to change the child's name by deed poll which was very easy. Couldn't really find any good reason to go through with adoption. It seems the only advantage of adoption was to give the child legal inheritance rights. If you make a will, then even that is not relevant.

Post by **DawnHRD** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:06 pm

STEVE G wrote:I would like to echo what Jaime said above; is it really all that important to have a legal adoption?

Yes, if your partner (their parent) dies & you want to take them out of the country for anything from a holiday to a new life.

Post by **STEVE G** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:35 pm

I was forgetting the type of situation that you are in Dawn.
I personally wouldn’t consider removing my partner’s son from the extended family if I was in that unfortunate situation, but I realize that you don’t have that option open to you.

Post by **DawnHRD** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:45 pm

The family don't always want the child.

I can't see that adoption (whilst the parent is around) can hurt. Sure it's complicated, but so are a lot of things worth getting. If (God forbid) the parent ever isn't around, it can be a necessity. I'm not even talking about taking the child away from Thailand or family, if they're around, permanently. My Mum is getting married next year. I can't take littl'un. I can't go on holiday abroad with him.

If you can go for adoption (& plan to be around long-term for the child) I'd say, do so.

Post by **Big Boy** » Fri Aug 15, 2008 1:15 am

Dawn wrote:

My Mum is getting married next year. I can't take littl'un. I can't go on holiday abroad with him.

Is that definitely correct Dawn ie have you checked it out? I ask because from my experience, so long as you are genuine, can prove the event, and have good reason to return to Thailand the British Embassy are quite reasonable.

Or is your problem actually obtaining a passport/getting permission from his parents? Is the problem with the Thai authorities rather than British?

Assuming you would like to attend the wedding as the family the 2 of you so clearly are, it must surely be at least worth making a few enquiries.

Post by **Nereus** » Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:55 am

I know that rules and regulations change, and that you will have a hard time (and probably expensive), trying to do what would be a fairly straight forward exercise in the West.

But as BB has stated, it should be possible. I did this myself many years ago with my stepdaughter, albeit her Mother was still alive, and with me. The first step is to get a passport for the boy. At the time my wife made a declaration that the girls Father was un-traceable, but I guess in your case the authorities would require his Mother to agree. Once she had a passport we took her to the Embassy (Oz) for an interview. She was given a visa and I took her with me without her Mother. She was about 13 / 14 years old at the time. The fact that she did not have my surname, in fact she had her Fathers surname--not her Mothers, was not a problem.

It is a very sad situation that you are in, and I am afraid that it is another reminder that there is no social security system, as we know it, in this country. As usual, the child is the one that misses out.

Post by **DawnHRD** » Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:32 pm

Big Boy wrote:Dawn wrote:
My Mum is getting married next year. I can't take littl'un. I can't go on holiday abroad with him.
Is that definitely correct Dawn ie have you checked it out? I ask because from my experience, so long as you are genuine, can prove the event, and have good reason to return to Thailand the British Embassy are quite reasonable.

Or is your problem actually obtaining a passport/getting permission from his parents? Is the problem with the Thai authorities rather than British?

Assuming you would like to attend the wedding as the family the 2 of you so clearly are, it must surely be at least worth making a few enquiries.

It's nothing to do with UK rules. It's Thai rules.
It's pretty difficult to get authority from the parents when one's dead & the other's disappeared.
None of my comments are about UK/other countries. They are about Thailand. You have to get past Thai legislation before you can apply to your own country.

Post by **nevets** » Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:12 am

May be when he is a older Dawn he can adopt you he is a great kid, you have done a good job so far bringing him up.