Sargeants humour thread

[traveller2]

Ive opened this thread for Sargeant to deliver his own special brand of humour and so we dont unintentionally hijack anyone elses thread.
Everyone is welcome to participate and the more 'smilies' used, the better (You can practice here GLC ).

[sargeant]

I must admit i am with the thread title so if anyone comes up with something better I would be happy to see it changed.
Anyway i will kick off with something that happened the day before yesterday which may help people understand my squaddie humour.

My wife and I ride our Bicycles almost every day normally about 22 Kms Pranburi city to Paknampran and back. We also have about 4 or 5 routes of about the same distance but sometimes up it to about 30KMs paranburi city to Khoa Kalock along the beach road to Paknampran and then home.

The other day we had done about 10/11 kms and saw a road going to our right which we had never ridden before so following my good lady of we went after about 2 Kms we hit the main road south to Phuket
my lovely wife turned and said ( innocently)did i want to go to a nice temple? up to you sweetcheeks said i being as wot a gentleman i are and slid into her slipstream my eyes firmly surveying her sweetcheeks
After a KM or 2 i pulled up alongside and politely arsked how far my darling 5 or 6 Km says she i was to learn later this was error Number one
after about 10 Kms i again pulled up alongside and said my dearest we have done 10 Kms how far is it now oh only 3 Kms error number 2 being a totally lovestruck iriot i believed her
After about another 5 Kms i pulled alongside and summoning maximum diplomacy asked how far now sweetheart, she said noon (over there and pointed sort of vaguely into the distance) 3 Kms later we arrived at said temple
Why did i fall for all this well its simple really after 15 years of learning maybe 40% of the Thai psyche i could see i had just learnt another 1%
They have no idea where they are going but beejeesus they are going to get there
I would also ask is it possible that the person or persons unknown that stole the saddle from my bike at the temple explain why they put it back when we stopped for a coffee on the return because i am sure my arse was perched on the tube that it is affixed to for at least 15 Kms
and i still love my lovely lady sweetcheeks i just have to find a nice way to tell her to bog of if she trys another 60+KM detour

[bsdk1960]

isn't that why we love them ,they never stop surprise you and you think to now how they think and act
but no no its keep coming even after staying whit them for many years.

[sargeant]

Hi 1960 that is also why i love thailand i will live forever still got 59% to learn

the day you stop learning is the day you die

what i am larfing at though is ME i actually believed her "3 Kms" that was after going over her "5/6 Kms" by some 4/5 Kms

Just as stupid is as stupid does

[dtaai-maai]

and slid into her slipstream

Couldn't you wait til you got home?

[sargeant]

nice one DM

Afraid i was totally pooped couldnt when we got home or yesty i was stiff as a board but still couldnt bend me legs let alone take the weight on me elbows like the nice guy i are

edited to add
Maybe this thread could be called the funny side of marriage in thailand

Rule 1 and only NO bitching and moaning just the funny things that happen during normal life

[sargeant]

1960

my wife was my caddie for 3 years we lost touch for 4 years and i was alone

she came to see me the first words i said were "are you going to live with me forever"

romantic SOB me

her wonderful reply "can i get drunk"

[Terry]

My favourite quote from Mrs. T

The small fib was absolutely harmless but she said...

"Honestly, I tell you the truth - I lied"

[GLCQuantum]

If..

= e
= o
= t
= c
= m
= w
= h
= i
= y
= p
= a
= r
= l

and...

= n

Can you decipher the following sentence...?

[dtaai-maai]

I'd reply in kind, but unfortunately there's no f, k or u...

[Arcadian]

Sorry GLCQuantum but I am far too busy watching my paint dry.

[GLCQuantum]

I know you did it really Arcadian

[sargeant]

Terry that is a gem and i bet her face was so angelic when she said it it melted your heart it makes it impossible to get upset with them dont it

wonderful i will look out for that one

[Terry]

Yep

It was nearly 20 years ago - I sometimes remind her of it

I get the same smile

[Khundon1975]

Considering that the Olympic torch has been carried around the country for the last 4 weeks and on the news every night and my wife had commented on the crowds lining the route, I was surprised to find a picture on her i phone showing her holding a flaming Olympic torch!

When I asked her why she had not shown me the pic, she dismissed it as trivial but then went on to describe, in minute detail, all the gorgeous Thai food she had eaten that day at her friends place.

You got to love em.