Getting divorced, HELP

[Mr. Dumb]

Hi all, I have been reading this forum for over a year but never posted. I have a big issue just arose and have no idea how to proceed.

My profile name says it all, I really must be one of the dumbest Farangs to ever arrive in Thailand.

I am a successful entrepreneur internationally and never go into things without really investigating all aspects, that is except for my marriage. I met and married a lovely lady just 4 years ago and bought a house in HH last year and invested heavily into business ventures here thinking this was my final destination. Then yesterday a gent came to my house while my darling wife was out (she has not returned) and hit me with a letter demanding cash settlement and divorce or the option being they would take me to court whereby I would lose far more than requested in the letter. I am married 4 years and my little "Darling" is looking for a mere 6m Baht per year as settlement. I'm devastated, I had no idea this was coming I really thought everything was perfect between us.

I have been searching this forum and the internet and I am not sure what to do, the lawyer I have utilized for my business investments is overseas so I can't speak to him until his return mid January.
From what I understand the law is 50/50 split for all assets from the date of marriage, however does this include all assets I personally have purchased with money I brought in from overseas? My business ventures, property, cars etc, if so then I will be better off settling rather than go the 50/50 way. My "Darling" has never contributed 1 cent to our relationship. She comes from a small village and while not well educated she now appears to be very smart. Game well played on her part.
Come to think of it she has never used my name it is always "Darling" I am such a dumb ass how did I ever succeed in the business world.

Any help or shoulders to cry on will be very appreciated.

[bsdk1960]

hi mr.Dump.

I really cant help you, but i hpoe that everything sorts otu for you,and maybee your story will
get others to think twice before jumping in the deep water even its not gonna help you.
Good luck with the divorce and a happy new year and new start of your life.

[Mr. Dumb]

As I am new on here I cannot receive PM's so it would be appreciated if you could post publicly unless it is confidential

[frank1957]

I have spoken to a few friends of mine and they are of the opinion that, yes you are right she can get a 50/50 split, having been married 3 times but not to a Thai, mine have all been English, if it was me in your situation I would try and move whatever I had back to your country of origin ie cash and liquidate any assets you can as I am not sure if she could touch it then, I would also cut my losses and give her the house and a car and see if you can get away with that, hope all goes well for you, I am in the UK at the moment as I am still working offshore and my time off allows me to spend a lot of time in Hua Hin, I will be back over there on 11th Jan if you need to talk to anyone over a beer or 2

[alleykat]

Don't be too hasty.

It may not be too late to enlist the services of a Private Investigator. There are farang PI's here that can speak fluent Thai. Did she give a reason for the divorce? There is a good chance that she has/had other partners whilst you were married (more common than most realise). And you are still technically married. If she has or had other partners and it can be proven by photos, witnesses etc, you may still have a leg to stand on.

Another thing to consider is does she have enough money to engage a lawyer to start court proceedings? I think a substantial deposit is usually required up front. She could just be bluffing.

[Dannie Boy]

Hi all, I have been reading this forum for over a year but never posted. I have a big issue just arose and have no idea how to proceed.

My profile name says it all, I really must be one of the dumbest Farangs to ever arrive in Thailand.

I am a successful entrepreneur internationally and never go into things without really investigating all aspects, that is except for my marriage. I met and married a lovely lady just 4 years ago and bought a house in HH last year and invested heavily into business ventures here thinking this was my final destination. Then yesterday a gent came to my house while my darling wife was out (she has not returned) and hit me with a letter demanding cash settlement and divorce or the option being they would take me to court whereby I would lose far more than requested in the letter. I am married 4 years and my little "Darling" is looking for a mere 6m Baht per year as settlement. I'm devastated, I had no idea this was coming I really thought everything was perfect between us.

I have been searching this forum and the internet and I am not sure what to do, the lawyer I have utilized for my business investments is overseas so I can't speak to him until his return mid January.
From what I understand the law is 50/50 split for all assets from the date of marriage, however does this include all assets I personally have purchased with money I brought in from overseas? My business ventures, property, cars etc, if so then I will be better off settling rather than go the 50/50 way. My "Darling" has never contributed 1 cent to our relationship. She comes from a small village and while not well educated she now appears to be very smart. Game well played on her part.
Come to think of it she has never used my name it is always "Darling" I am such a dumb ass how did I ever succeed in the business world.

Any help or shoulders to cry on will be very appreciated.

Sorry to read your story - by no means the first and sadly not the last person to following similar footsteps!!

I believe that what you have said re the splitting of everything since marriage is correct, but by the sound of it, big money is at stake so the first thing you should do is find yourself a good lawyer.

Do you intend staying in Thailand or if you can get rid of your assets, will you leave? Maybe you need to try and be as decitful as your "darling" and try to string her along by drip feeding her just enough money to keep her happy and then once you've offloaded your assets, disappear somewhere where she hopefully can't find you. Maybe others and/or the lawyer can advise on the wisdom of this, but that's how I would feel.

Good luck because I think you will need it.

[Bristolian]

My advice would be simple. You are not the first to face this situation and certainly you will not be the last. Unfortunately this is happens all too frequently. Usually the financial implications are devastating and often involve some poor guy losing his entire savings.

You should not wait until your own lawyer returns but you should seek immediate legal advice, which will at least give you the guidelines of what your options are and how best to proceed. You should certainly not make any snap decisions before taking legal advice.

I would suggest that you contact Chavalit Finch who are lawyers and sponsors of this forum.
You can always revert back to your normal lawyer upon his return

Good Luck

[Pagey]

As Bristolian says look at Chavalit Finch website as they have published a lot of documents available on the website about divorce. Good Luck.

[alleykat]

Are you legally married? Or did you just do the traditional Buddhist marriage ceremony?
Do you have any contact with her family? Who's name is the house in?

And did you ask the guy who gave you the letter who he was,Thai boyfriend/husband perhaps?
Sounds like it could have been planned right from the beginning.

[Nereus]

Just watch your back! If she can do this to you, then she would probably not have any qualms about hiring somebody to do away with you and get everything!

[heartofmidlothian]

Wow! - that advice is not going to help the situation! I have heard a lot of stories like this and I have heard a lot of outcomes that are favourable to the farang, if you take it to court. If you put land or property in her name, then she had to sign a document that said the money for the purchase came from herself. Obviously you can prove that was a lie. Sounds like it would be better for her if you just settled but better for you if you went to court. A good lawyer would give you the best advice.
In the meantime be very nice to her and keep her supplied with money - you don't want her to get angry. Chances are that she has been pushed into this by some Thai boyfriend. Probably be best for you if you went away for a few weeks and found a good lawyer in Bangkok to tell you your options and also get the lawyer to talk to her. Best piece of advice is don't get her angry, get out of town for a few weeks and get a good lawyer. Best of luck

[Nereus]

Wow! - that advice is not going to help the situation!

What advice?

[kendo]

Sorry to read of your situation, this is not uncommon i agree with most of what has been posted above.
Now for my take on this.........

Firstly keep calm don't show any strong emotions that could aggravate your x Mrs because their is probably a Thai boyfriend/husband behind this or greedy brothers.

I would also say your life will be at risk if you don't keep her sweet whilst this is all unfolding, you need to take reasonable steps with personal safety, i would put CCTV on your house could prevent you getting attacked on your door step.
Do not ride a motor bike at all rent a large truck that could give you maximum protection.
Maybe also think of learning some form of self defense Wado Karate sponsor this site.
I would also consider hiring the services of a high ranking tourist police that can speak English could be handy to have with you if you have to go and have a meeting with her.
Change any routeen that you have and carry a pepper spray and a stun gun if you can conceal it.

I am not trying to alarm you but based on what i know from other peoples experiences the above is sound info gambling and drugs is also major forces of relationships suddenly going sour that can have devastating consequences.

If i recall a very long time ago their was someone that posted on having the same trouble his name was Another Mug if you use the search facility you may well find his very long winded tail, the thread eventually got locked though.

Good luck and keep your wits about you.

Kendo.

[Brit Jim]

As Bristolian says look at Chavalit Finch website as they have published a lot of documents available on the website about divorce. Good Luck.

If you intend to use a legal adviser in Hua Hin then these are the best. They are not cheap but will give you first class professional advice. The first 30 minute consultation should be free unless things have changed.

Do not give her 6 Million! Even if the house is in her name purchased before marriage (from your funds) a good solicitor
may still be able to get you a 50/50 share. I believe that any assets accumulated after and during the marriage should be shared equally including property, cars, etc. There have been some recent cases in Bangkok where foreigners have taken their wives to court and the judges have favoured the foreigners. So I would not make any rash decisions. By employing
a professional legal company I believe you will be a much stronger position. This will hopefully scare her into a out of court settlement which will be more reasonable than 6 million.

If you fear for your safety go and see Hong at the Police Station and she will advise you accordingly!

Im sure you will be fine!

[Brit Jim]

As kendo points out there will more than likely be a new BF or family member pushing her into this situation or it will be a
gambling debt. Highly possible that she is being pressurized from a 'Third Party' .