Date Listed 17-Jul-13
Price Please contact
Address Blarney, Co. Cork, Ireland
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For Sale By Owner
Make Toyota
Model Corolla
Body Type Sedan
Year 1995
Mileage 101602
Transmission Manual
Fuel Type Gasoline
1995 Toyota Corolla for sale.
Fabricated from rare minerals excavated from the core of Mount Olympus, artfully designed by Zeus and skillfully handcrafted in the Land of the Rising Sun by the deft hands of the infamous 7 Samurai. This Japanese rice-rocket is unquestionably the most heroic form of transport since the Apollo 11 lunar module. To date, the most monumental day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That’s about to change! In fact, you’d trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to test-drive this barbarian.
Searching for a delightful family automobile to ferry you to Easons to buy Fifty Shades of Grey, cart little Johnny to GAA practice or perhaps Thursday specials in your local ALDI?
If, on the other hand, you’re hunting for the most diabolical slab of precious metal to be synthesized during the Big Bang, please continue…
FACTS:
In 1885, this car transported the Statue of Liberty to New York City from Paris.
Cast as KITT in 1982’s Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role.
This Corolla was responsible for the Grunge movement. If Kurt Cobain owned one, Nirvana would still be thrashing out tunes.
I drove it to my last job interview and my employer handed me his résumé.
If you were to be run over by this beast, you’d have to fight off the strong urge to thank the driver.
When the Gardai pulled me over a few weeks ago, they were lucky to leave with a warning.
SPECIFICATIONS
Stereo system used for sound engineering the U2 360 tour.
Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1995 when you step inside)
Powered by nuclear fusion (makes Topaz fuel card redundant)
Windscreen wiper jets filled with the tears of Jesus (washes away the most sinful grime)
Tyre's (Has 4) are vital for our lives as the world would literally grind to a halt without them and it is not simply cars and trucks which would stop, but how many commercial airliners would be able to land without rubber tyres beneath them on the runway!
PRICE:
€350 or 6.5kg of freshly minted Swiss gold bullion
Reasonable offers accepted.
(Example of a reasonable offer: €10,000 +)
Simply brilliant - the ad not the car
