How much dowry do I pay?

[kirkyboy]

Just wondering when and if I marry my thai girl, how much dowry would be expected to pay the family. She is 24, would appreciate any input.

[caller]

How long is a piece of string? Sometimes none is expected, sometimes what's put down is just for show, sometimes too much is asked for.

It depends on so many factors, social background, wealth of family, previously married, kid, face etc.

Also on what you're prepared to stump up.

[johnnyk]

If she comes from the middle class and has a proper job, nothing.
If she comes from the rice fields and worked bar, nothing.
If the family wants you to buy her, walk.

[BOZ]

depends on a few factors... What can you afford, or willing to offer... This is done as respect to the family and to thank them for raising such a special daughter for you... Think something in the 300K to 500K would be a good number again if you are comfortable with this... Nothing really is an insult to her, the family and you... If you don't have the means than a decent token of appreciation would work, she can sort out the reasons for what ever you guys decide you can afford... This is a very big deal, traditional value to the Thai's... So do yourself a justice and do something that works for your situation.. There really isn't a set amount for such a thing... The scale slides accordingly... I have seen 100K all the way up to 1 million given at weddings...

[caller]

500K would be a good number again if you are comfortable with.......

........up to 1 million given at weddings...

Apologies for selective quoting, but.........

I must be a tight wad, because even in the good old day's of 73 baht to the £, I kinda drew a line in the sand, and not just because of the cash register I saw in the MIL's eye's!

[PeteC]

I've heard of barter goods being used also. A buffalo or two, a few dozen pigs, farm equipment like tractors, a new house etc. Probably best if you gauge the parent's feelings about barter before you show up riding a buffalo. Pete

[JimmyGreaves]

Jacko

[hhfarang]

You're wife-to-be will be the best judge. Explain to her that you want to do what's proper to make her family save face with their neighbors (that's the important bit), but with as little as possible so as not to break the bank. If she is understanding of your financials and sincere, she will figure out or negotiate a reasonable number. If she comes back with an outrageous number, it may be time to rethink the marriage as the family may be viewing this as a down payment to a lifetime of support.

My total cost was around two thousand U.S.D. 18 years ago (which was between 80,000 and 90,000 baht at the then exchange rate), but the lions share of that went to pay for the party which included open bar, rented chairs, tent, ginormas sound system, and food for approximately 150 people. The wedding part had costs too... payment for the nine monks (donation), payment for the person who actually performs the wedding, another meal for the monks with leftovers for the rest of the attendees, and rental or purchase of the brides traditional outfit (we rented), your outfit too if you go traditional (I wore a western suit and tie).

As an actual dowry I gave a small amount of cash and a bottle of Jack Daniels to her Dad and some gold jewelry for her Mom and all were happy. You do receive cash gifts back from the people who attend the ceremony, but how much will depend on the family's status and the wealth of the attendees.

[PeteC]

No sense of humor on here anymore, is there? Pete

[hhfarang]

^ I thought your comment was funny Pete, but imagine riding in on a Buffalo if she is from a hi-so Bangkok family. That would probably cut the whole affair short!

[johnnyk]

Visit the home with eyes open, you can usually read a family that sees their daughter as a chattel to be sold. Being naive and romantic can be expensive.

[oakdale160]

A friend married a HI-SO lady the dowry was huge, but the bride and her sister contributed much if it. At the wedding it was presented to the parents, the next day it was all returned. It was just for show.

[richard]

A friend married a HI-SO lady the dowry was huge, but the bride and her sister contributed much if it. At the wedding it was presented to the parents, the next day it was all returned. It was just for show.

quite often the case and all about 'Face'

[usual suspect]

hhfarang came close to how it was with me...my wife-to-be took care of things..she told her family in plain terms that I was a farmer same as them, & to not even think of taking the p**s with an inflated dowry-sum.
On the day of the wedding I think I gave her mum 150,000B in front of all her friends & family, plus 5B of gold..by nightfall mother had wrapped it all up in a silk head-scarf & passed it all back to me..she said she did'nt want money from me..just please take care of her daughter..now that's being fair..

[Aussie Mark]

Hi Kirky

Maybe just an West Coast Eagles jumper and a promise to show her sunny Perth pal