Loy Krathong will destroy the world!

[HHTel]

This is part of an article written by Arglit Boonyai in this week's GURU magazine. I thought it was very funny. A farang probably wouldn't get away with these comments but, hey, it was written by a Thai!

“PRAISE BE THE WATER GODS! THEY’RE SO GOOD TO US!. They give us lots of splashy water so that we can take overly long showers, leave the tap running while we brush our teeth and fill up buckets and buckets to wash our cars. Yes, the water gods are very, very kind! So it is only right that we thank them accordingly. And what better way to thank someone than by crafting a little boat out of banana leaves and Styrofoam, filling it with stuff and floating it down a river?

As you will no doubt already be aware, it is Loy Krathong time. Yippee! Thailand’s November festival’s answer to Guy Fawkes Night, Divali, Shichi-Go-San and Thanksgiving is here once again. But it can be a dangerous time with all those Krathongs floating about. You never know when you’ll be knocked into the river with a barge pole or smothered to death by thousands of banana leaves. Therefore I figured it would be a good safety precaution to take a closer look at this 700 year old festival and see if there wasn’t a way to get through it unscathed. The situation looks grim.

This is the translation of the official Loy Krathong song:

November full moon shines.
Loy Krathong. Loy Krathong.
And the water’s high in the river and local klong.
Loy Krathong. Loy Loy Krathong.
Loy Krathong is here and everybody’s full of cheer.
We’re together at the klong,
Each one with his krathong.
As we push away we pray.
We can see a better day.

All I can say is, wow, the waters are high at the local klong. That can’t be good! If your local klong looks anything like mine, it is a stagnant pool filled with Weil’s disease, old shopping carts, melting tyres and when the water is high the rats come out to play. This is certainly not a good omen for getting through the auspicious holiday.

Now I did some research and it turns out that the official story behind Loy Krathong states that it’s roots lie in a Hindu festival, where the water gods are thanked for their help throughout the year by floating a Krathong on their rivers. Who’s idea was that? That’s like thanking the air gods for air by releasing CFC gases into the atmosphere! Okay, maybe I’m being a bit harsh. 700 years ago, releasing a couple of hundred banana leaf boats into the river probably didn’t do much harm to the environment. But times have changed, Sonny Jim. Ain’t no organic Krathongs these days. They’re all made out of Styrofoam! Furthermore, we’re not talking about a little village here. We’re talking about the whole of Bangkok! That’s approximately 10 million! All polluting the rivers and klongs in one fell swoop! This is why we have global warming issues. Even if you don’t head out to revel in the festivities, your chances of surviving grow slim every year. Soon the sewage systems will be blocked because Styrofoam isn’t biodegradable thus forcing waste and rain water to fill the streets. Following that, we’ll have to burn all the Styrofoam, in turn causing a build up in green house gasses that will lead to fluctuations in weather patterns and more natural disasters. Then eventually we’ll all die. So go on, have your fun. Float your little Loy Krathong down the river. BUT REMEMBER, YOU DESTROYED THE WORLD!â€

[dtaai-maai]

I've enjoyed some of your postings, tel, but this one, I have to say, is a complete load of ballocks.

Without addressing the environmental (never mind commercial) issues of Christmas in the West, I'd say a better place to start having a go at Thailand is in the general state of waste disposal, particularly of those plastic bags in which 90% of 'fast' food here is sold.

I lived on the (sparsely inhabited) south coast of Koh Samui for a year, and had a lot of plastic bottles and styrofoam packaging wash up on the beach in front of my home. None of it was due to Loy Kratong.

Around Hua Hin you don't have to look far to find festering heaps of crap by the side of the road, or unofficial rubbish dumps, containing God knows what.

Not to mention the sewage outlets into the sea around HH.

By all means start a campaign for biodegradable Loy Kratong floats, but I'd suggest there are more appropriate ways to vent your frustration.

[dtaai-maai]

And having posted my reply, and then read the original again, I realise I might, just possibly, have overreacted... if the whole thing was a quote...

so possibly...

[HHTel]

Not just possible DM - absolutely. As I pointed out at the very beginning it was from an article published in the Friday GURU magazine with the Bangkok Post. Arglit is one of the writers with that magazine.

Do pay attention.

[HHTel]

Also, DM, I hope you understand the phrase 'Tongue in cheek' which this article obviously is!!

[HHTel]

I've produced the rest of the article by Arglit Boonyai to help Dtaai-Maai get a sense of humour and understand 'Tongue in Cheek' --- not to be taken seriously!

“Aside from the long term survival difficulties for ‘let’s pollute the rivers day’, there are some more immediate dangers to be aware of. First is the problem of the crowds. It is highly likely that you’ll encounter them at some point. If you’ve ever been to Phra Arthit during Loy Krathong, you’ll know the danger of being pushed into the Chao Phraya is very, very real….dun-dun-duh! But there are other, more subtle forms of danger to beware of. For instance, this is a day when anyone can get hold of flammable goods, the means to start a fire and the anonymity to disguise arson. Way-to-go water gods. Where will you be when little Ploy and little Petch get hold of some Chinese firecrackers, a box of matches, some highly flammable Styrofoam and a crate of granddaddy’s whiskey? That’s right, you’ll be washing pieces of soggy plastic off your shores!

One thing you shouldn’t have any trouble surviving during Loy Krathong despite my attempts to sweep my doomsday eye over it and find fault are the Noppamas Beauty contests. Yep, there’s nothing bad about beauty contests. They’re all good! I suggest you give up on that whole floating a boat for good luck thing and just go watch a beauty show! Who doesn’t love beautiful women? Well, except maybe ugly women. I think they’re resentful and more than a bit jealous of their looks. It’s understandable really. Many men feel that very same way about me. It’s hard being so good looking, but hey, when you get linked to the likes of Christina Aguilar, what can you do? What was I talking about again? Oh, yeah, Loy Krathong! Happy Holidays!â€

[VincentD]

I think they did try an 'all-organic' krathong festival once some years ago. The krathong base was made out of the trunk of a banana tree, and the krathong made out of plaited banana leaves. The trunk had to be cut quite thick in order to float properly.

What transpired was that all these krathongs ended up impeding the flow of the water in many klongs because they were IN the water. Styrofoam floats on the surface, and can be incinerated, so is less of a hassle to remove and dispose of.

While the banana trunks are technically biodegradable, they take quite a while to do that. Styrofoam is now seen as the lesser evil.

As for the author, he has to justify his existence by writing that sort of drivel. He's obviously spent a lot of time outside of Thailand, judging from his use of colloqialisms and his so-called 'tongue-in-cheek'.

Chill out and enjoy the festivities.

[sargeant]

Silly old me, and there was my goodself trained by not one but 2 TWO mrs sarges (over 24 years) that Loy Kratong was to float your bad luck away. I always put a few baht on my Kratong and watch the kids running around collecting it.

Please note Puncture ation and capital letters.

[Vital Spark]

By far the best Kratongs I've come across were at a university in Nakhon Pathom. The campus has a beautiful, huge lake containing loads of fish and a few water monitor lizards, so the kratongs were made of bread. All the decorations were natural and biodegradeble - no foam or plastic allowed.

The following day there was little evidence of what had happened the night before and the fish and lizards were (I guess) as happy as larry.

VS

[Jockey]

Let's be honest - Loy Krathong must be the most boring festival on the planet!

[Vital Spark]

Yup Jockey, can't help but agree with you there. We've only been to two (in ten years). The first was when we lived in Bangkok - what a nightmare! Kids letting off fireworks, too many people, etc. etc. Not my idea of fun. The second was at the above university. Much more fun, bingo, games, not too much noise - and Parahandy won a mini Pooh bear!

Haven't been to one since, and probably won't do again. But, bless them, the Thais do love any excuse for a party.

I guess you love it or loathe it. Depends on the circumstances.

VS

PS. Styrofoam was I believed banned in BKK, until the new governor (about 6 years ago) decided it was easier to clean up. OK - if it is actually cleaned up, but more often than not it wasn't. I think the present governor is a bit more eco-aware. But then again, I may be wrong.

PPS. The 'Miss Noppamas' contests are usually an excuse for the Katoeys to get dolled up.

[sargeant]

VS i thought daylight or street light was the only excuse katoeys needed to dress up i must look a little harder

[Jaime]

Let's be honest - Loy Krathong must be the most boring festival on the planet!

I love Loy Khratong around Wat Po in BKK - loads going on in a real carnival atmosphere - a really colourful expression of Thai life and culture. Wish I could get there for Loy Khratong more often but it always falls outside the school holidays.

[JD]

I think Loy Khratong is one of the most beautiful festivals in Thailand, not just as a visual thing but also as a spiritual thing. It is so nice to see so many people getting together, all with the need to send their bad omens off and settle in for another round of fun and wishing good luck for themselves and others. Good on 'em I say, long may it last.

[Jaime]