Folks in denial

[fach3003]

Hi all hope everyones ok
havent been on for an age...
Im moving over in a year whatever happens
to house price etc etc....

I told my Mother shes ok
but my old man...keeps saying
think about it in another 3-4years son
get some more money behind you etc....

Ive stopping talking about the move
but it will come as a shock next year for him

everyone else ever have this bother???

Just interested.....

Happy weekend to all !!!

[PeteC]

No, not to me. You still have your Mom and Dad though so appreciate that. Regardless of how much he or they piss you off now, you'll miss them like hell when they're gone, even if he beat you for most of your life.

Maybe his talk comes from not wanting to lose you and not see you in his old age. You know, Fathers's aren't that good at telling their son's they love them.

You still must be in your 20's? You've got loads of time left in your life. Weigh your options and give some deep thought about what you're doing.

The other side of the coin is if you don't have a plan, a job, or are already wealthy, you may do a prodigal son routine in a year or so. Think long and hard what it would be like if you did fail and had to go home?

Just passing on some wisdom because I'm already old and not good for much else...LOL. Good luck in whatever you decide. Pete

[Vital Spark]

I know exactly what you're going through Fach, I had the same experience 11 years ago. The stunned silence from my parents when I joyfully announced that I was going to move to Thailand. They thought that Mr.VS was dragging me off (kicking and screaming) to an unknown and uncivilised land. They couldn't believe that I was giving up a good, secure job to venture into the unknown.

On one of our biyearly visits (after living in Thailand for five years) my mother was trying to persuade me to rent a house near them and get a job at the local doctors' surgery. It was quite an emotional time for both of us as I explained that I was happy living in Thailand, and would stay there unless something drastic happened and I felt I had to return to the UK. I still haven't got the heart to tell them that I'll never come back to live in England.

I think that they've now accepted that I have a life here, and I'm not on some kind of 'extended' holiday.

If it's really what you want to do, then you've just got to do it, but don't burn all your bridges back home - just in case...

Have you thought about how you're going to finance your living here? What job are you going to do. Are you legally able to do that job? There are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself before you make that major step.

Good luck, and I hope that eventually your father will understand. It may take some time though.

VS

[lomuamart]

I got the " Your father and I will support you any way we can as we know the move is what you want to do. However, we do not necessarily approve of what you're doing".
!0 years later, they've accepted the fact. I reckon they initially thought I'd last a year or two and then go back to the UK and try to pick up the pieces of my career.
It was certainly a difficult time for all involved as it took me about 6 months to get myself sorted out for the move and the first time over here only lasted 4 months. I'd got an interview set up with the BKK Post and details of other contract publishers, but nothing worked out. It was then about another 9 months back in London (working for 6 of them) and then "buy a bar - I'm going. Can't stand the UK any longer".

[margaretcarnes]

My folks were quite philosophical and supportive Fach, although looking back I realised that Dad didn't really grasp what was happening, because he was in the early stages of dementia. Never saw him again.
Family tend to try to protect you against bad news as well I found, saying things like 'oh don't bother to come back - so and so is OK' Which roughly interprets as 'by the time you get a flight they will be dead'
Doom and gloom aside, if you gotta go you gotta go. Theres never enough capital, so best to have some sort of regular income. Good luck!

[Zidane]

You only live once so no good thinking in 20 years time when you are stuck in the UK with your own children....."if only!"
So I'd definitely say go for it.Plenty of interesting places to see in SE Asia,not only Thailand.
Your not a Newcastle United fan by any chance are you ? In their current state you are better off a few thousand miles away from St. James Park

Zidane

[moja]

When we first told my Mum of our plans all she said was yes and then changed the subject, it continued like that right up until the day we left for Heathrow.

Through work and extended holidays I have alway spent a fair amount of time out of the country and I think she thought of this move in much the same way and we would be back in a couple of months.

These days with e-mail, skype, sms, phone calls there is no need not to be in regular contact with those at home.

Fach perhaps you should try talking with you Dad again and tell him how you feel and point out you will not be disappearing from their lives forever.

[Spitfire]

Good thoughts here, got the same myself when I left at 28, seems a long time ago now.

If you're set in your own mind, then just go for it and give it your best shot. If you don't then you'll regret it forever with the 'wish I had done it' routine. I find the way to keep future regrets at low levels is to do what you feel is right at the time and make the best decision you can under the present circumstances, then there's no giving yourself a hard time later because 'I did my best' or what 'I felt was right' at that time.

Good luck.

[crazy88]

The when are you coming home to get a "proper job" thing died off after about 2 years then kicked up again after I got married from both sides of the family .My wife went to live with her family in Dubai and I stayed here .3 years on and my mother is now living here full time .Go for it .



crazy 88

[Cowtown Comedy]

Brilliant topic!!
I left the corporate snob world behind a few years, and discovered a bright new world beyond BMW's and stainless steel kitchen applicances. My co-workers were far more shocked about my departure than my freinds and family were. My co-workers couldn't believe I was leaving the bubble. How on earth was i going to survive without a steam shower and a german car? My family have always been world travelers, so it wasn't a big shock to them. I dont know if there is a right or wrong time in life to embark on these life adventures. I do feel that its important to "do your time" in the western world before you make the leap to LOS. IMHO, i feel sorry for the 18-20 year olds that move their with there familes, after never really "living" in their own country. Thailand is the final layer of sweet icing on a cake you've been baking for years.

[sandman67]

When I lived in the UK I lived in Berkshire and my parents lived in Bolton/Wigan

That was the best part of a days worth of travel by rail and bus.

Here I live, half a world away, yet I can get here to there faster (by plain and them/mates collecting me)

try that pitch.

The other one was mum and dad were worried about the "hospital" thing here in LOS.....I just pointed out that a mate virtually bled to death in a UK A&E whilst waiting for a doctor....here he would have had 1st class attention.

again...try that pitch.

The one that hurts me is for some reason, even though I now call mum and dad more regularly and see em just as much as when I lived in the UK.....sometimes I feel a long long way from "home". Sometimes the miles do seem to count

[fach3003]

Back after a weekend....

Thanks for all the responses!!!
It has been playing on my mind alot....
Me and the old man are close we have
a Motorcycle racing team and its in are blood etc
I have been racing since 95 but next year my dads
retiring and im finding sponsorship hard to find....
( Credit Crunch again! ) and im forking out alot for it aswell...
So next year is the final year for racing and here in the UK..

It has been interesting reading all your comments of what others
have been through and i know i have alot to think about and
take onboard...


VS - Moneywise we will get by...better off than we are here...
I have a good but stressfull well paid job here and all
the mod cons....i could ever want the car, house etc...
but it means nothing to me....just want a simple life
more time for the wife and my baby!

The wifes a local so she can work in LOS and ill
be a househusband running my Air Conditioning design
business from my Laptop (as i do as a sideline here in the UK)
Mind i could happily sit on my backside and do nothing also!!!

Im just unwilling to run in the hamster wheel
for much longer and all the stresses etc...
and costs of living in the UK....
But VS it will be hard leaving the folks

Margaret,
My folks health worrys me but they wont want me to hang round
till they pop off i know....i just hope i get back in time when
'it' happens


Zidane,
If i was a Newcastle fan id have left a longtime ago
its bikes for me only im afraid

Mojo
Ill keep trying to chat to my dad...he talks through my wife
(Supida) and she tells me he hopes we dont go as he loves
the little one (my 4month old son) so much as loves being a
grandad...its awful but we need to leave....

Our reasons are her family has fell apart since she left there
(3 years ago) and ive had enough of putting up with the UK
full stop!

Crazy88
Im hoping my Mam and Stepdad come over longterm as
there worried about life in the UK after retirement..£££
Most of the their friends are selling their homes and living in
Luxury Caravans in the country now!!!

Cowtown
I have known for af ew years were off to LOS
So were just enjoying it as long as it lasts here
Got 1 year to go before i give my big German Audi
Back...roll on batter old pick up , showering out of
a bucket (Joke) and wearing my flip flops...Seriously
i know it will be v different but i will go along with the flow....

Sandman
Im on the phone to my folks and see them for about 3 hours
a week max....i can see a calculation coming on here!
i mean the unhappiness in the UK versus seeing my folks
3hrs a week....the balance tips to Thailand....
and i understand the long long way from home feeling...

Sorry everyone for the novel (and typos)
but i feel its a worthy subject....
I know we have to leave the UK......soon rather than later

Regards to all

Fach

[JW]

Fach,

All the best, i left UK 6 years ago and love life here - all we here are tales of woe from visitors from Uk - your doing the right thing and it seems for the right reasons.

You may have met your match as far as bikes are concerned - no race craft here!!

Look forward to hearing more about your coming move!

All the best,

JW

[fach3003]

JW - Cheers

im a good egg and looking forward too being there....

head well screwed on....and a good boss (the missus!) in tow!!!

[sandman67]

mate

when you are over call in the Moto GP bar and have a laugh with Will......whole racing bike themed bar for you

Theres a few big mad machines about town but I stick to peds now.....easier to ride round town and a lot better fuel consumption than proper bikes