No devices to guarantee world peace (ie an all human killing virus) or give freedom and liberty for all.....
gadgety stuff that does an annoying awkward job or at least provides a laugh. The sort of junk they sell when the main Thai channels switch off or on the "shopping channels" back home.
Heres the Sandmans Mad Science Laboratory entries:
Personal Soundtrack Generator
Is your life dull and boring?
Is mundanity getting you down?
Isn't TV just so much more exciting?
Know why?
Its the soundtrack! The background music! The laugh track!
Improve every moment of your crappy dull life by adding a personal soundtrack to it!
(cue soft focus running to sharp with a starburst filter to show off the nice shiny ally alloy case of what looks like a walkman, but has 10 big buttons on it instead of a tape window).
The new SandLabs Soundman will add drama, pathos and comedy to any awkward social engagement!
Tell a joke? Hit the "Laughs" button!
Say something dumb? Hit the "wahp whaaa" button
Cant remember where your wallet is? Hit the "dahn daaa" button.
Just been told your best mate is in fact having an affair with your missus? Hit the "Drum roll from Eastenders" button.
Spice up standing in a Tesco que with the "March of the Clowns" music.
Your life can be richer, fuller, and a hell of a lot funner. 10 .... yes thats 10 whole programmable soundtrack buttons that on an easy press blast out whatever sound snippet you deem appropriate. At an adjustable volume!
Add a little colour to your sad empty life
59.99 from any good electronics store.
NB: SandLabs are not responsible for any legal action arising from ownership and/or use of a Soundman unit.
so
what would you invent for the masses?
see I own a Beavis and Butthead TV Remote....like a normal remote but ruder
I love gadgety junk
"Science flew men to the moon. Religion flew men into buildings."
I would invent super fast lightning band 'Randywifi' services anywhere in the world for 1p per hour.
This may sound cheap but as mine would be the only service like it I would clean up...
Just imagine. No cables, no wires, no boxes, no contracts. Just instant wifi anywhere in the world, from the deep jungles of Issan to the top of everest. All for 1p per hour.
TRAVEL INNOVATION DOWNS AIRLINES; FEARS FOR INVENTORS LIFE
HUA HIN, THAILAND
The former sleepy fishing village of Hua Hin has been a media circus since the inventor of the 'iTravel', the instantaneous travel gadget that allows people to go anywhere at the touch of a button, let slip in an interview with Time magazine when he was announced as not only Man of the Year but Man of the Millenium, that he has made the Thai resort his home. Simply called Wanderlust, to protect himself, his friends and family, the man who has become a multi billionaire almost overnight announced the invention only 3 months ago, and the iTravel has broken all sales records ever known of any product, racking up a billion sales in two months worldwide.
The airline industry has been destroyed by the invention, priced at just £10 (600 baht) in the UK, with every major airline going bankrupt, and most of the others expected to end trading by the end of the year. Mr Wanderlust has been apologetic to the staff of the airlines and has promised to give every one of them a lump sum payment, as well as a free iTravel. However a number of death threats have already been received, while several people have been arrested in connection with a plot to assassinate Wanderlust, the most high profile being Sir Richard Branson.
No one is quite sure how the device works and pressure has been put on governments worldwide to ban the invention as not only have the airlines suffered, but also all transport and communication related industries. Mr Wanderlust has been quoted as saying that he almost didn't release the iTravel because of the severe effects it would have on the world, but felt that not to allow people the freedom it gives them outweighed this. It has also had major implications for the worldwide system of passports, visas and customs controls, and the world is looking at a future where these restrictions will have to disappear; however fears are that crime using the iTravel will be a huge problem, and the Wanderlust Corporation has already announced that it has perfected an iTravel barrier to prevent unauthorised travel into people's homes for example.
In London, trains, tubes, buses and taxis, as well as all other forms of transport have stopped running. People have already noticed cleaner air, a reduction in noise and the city's streets have become like a bizarre sci-fi movie, with people appearing and disappearing all the time. Some people have already been caught on camera appearing in Parliament before disappearing again almost immediately after mooning at the Prime Minister, but Jeremy Beadle has now been arrested and his iTravel taken away from him. A rash of other pranks, mainly by students has now died down, although the nightly TV news broadcasts are still being interrupted as pranksters and protesters use the iTravel to make a point.
As well as the iTravel barrier, Wanderlust has said that as part of his agreement with Apple new integrated iTravelPods will be released later this year, while the iPhone and all other phone equipment is being scrapped and telegraph poles and phone wires being torn down all over the world as people can just go and talk to whoever they want to in person.
Conspiracy theorists are making dire warnings that this is part of an alien plan to take over the world, with many believing that the science behind the iTravel is not of human design. Some deaths have already occurred as a direct result of iTravel use, although the manual clearly states that use of the iTravel must be done with care; unfortunately Tracey Pinner, 22, from Essex evidently did not heed those warnings or had a previously unknown suicidal streak, as she travelled to the North Pole wearing only a bikini. The pretty blonde was found frozen by her friend Sharon 30 minutes later, who revealed that Tracy had 'just wanted to give Father Christmas a big present'. Strangely though, no one has been able to enter the infamous 'Area 51' nor Stonehenge using their iTravels, and Wanderlust has refused to comment on this.
Sales of iTravels are now being restricted so that everyone has to pass a basic intelligence test before they are allowed to own one. However a black market has now appeared with iTravels changing hands for ten times their asking price, but many of these have turned out to be fakes manufactured in China. All government employees and many private companies are now insisting that all iTravels are handed in before starting work, while golf courses have reported massive increases in people playing, with average 18 hole rounds now only taking an hour as people use their iTravel to speed up their game.
Doctors have been carrying out a series of tests on people using iTravels to ascertain any physical or mental effects it may have, but have so far given it the thumbs up; however a study commissioned by Nokia has stirred up considerable worries as it revealed that a higher than normal percentage of iTravel users were developing cancer, ironically the same accusation levelled at mobile phones some years ago. The figures have been rubbished by the Wanderlust Corporation though, who claim to have carried out extensive testing to ensure no harmful effects can be attributed to the product.
The world will never be the same now we have iTravels, and Wanderlust has hinted that they may be capable of much longer distance travel than currently possible; NASA are already in talks with the company, so could we soon be seeing day trippers on the moon, Mars or even exploring another galaxy?
