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Did you know that in the Central Plunge district the 'Buff squirrel' is ridden to death for sport!
Hoards of tiny toads ride the 'Buffers' bareback in an attempt to shake off their hungry rival's before reaching the inner safety of a big house. Once there the lead toad and his/her Buffer have to spin round whilst screaming wildly in a little known dialect until the Buffer looses its footing and plunges nose first into the dust. The remaining contestants then prance upon their own buffers until silence is observed.
Several thousand Buff squirrels die every week in pursuit of this mindless sport....
Several thousand Buff squirrels die every week in pursuit of this mindless sport
It made wonder why the squirrels would let the toads on their backs in the first place....................then it suddenly struck me - its obvious that those squirrels who survive, gain a natural immunity to mossies.
I once saw a BBC documentary that described the discovery and excavation of the fossilised remains of Mega-Sciurus Rex, or giant sabre tooth squirrel.
The amazing find was located in the little known province of Nng in north west Mongolia where many tribal elders still wear only a hollowed out sabre tooth of this extinct species as a cod-piece. The dentine cock-box heir-loom doubles as a defensive weapon in times of danger and is ironically used to hunt the placid pygmy 'foof' squirrel which is officially an endangered species due to its low reproductive rate. So why do they hunt the endangered pygmy foof squirrel I hear you ask? Well, the ratio of men to women in the province of Nng is 340 to 1 and not only does it release a slippery mucus when it feels threatened but the pygmy foof squirrel bears an uncanny resemblence to a lady's front bum in both visual and tactile respects. The similarity is particularly apparent when the foof squirrel is shaved, which is often.