"saying No" !! to Thais.....

[KateB]

I've been struggling with Thai for years but am no expert KateB but here's goes:

Mai Aow (Kha/Khrap) - I don't want it (thank you)
Mai Aow Jing Jing - I really don't want it
Miow (sounds like a cat) - local dialect means same as Mai Aow

Good luck!

Thanks Johnnymac, that's really helpful.

[margaretcarnes]

I've been struggling with Thai for years but am no expert KateB but here's goes:

Mai Aow (Kha/Khrap) - I don't want it (thank you)
Mai Aow Jing Jing - I really don't want it
Miow (sounds like a cat) - local dialect means same as Mai Aow

Good luck!

Thanks Johnnymac, that's really helpful.

Just be careful with the 'miaow'. If it sounds like a cat it does mean cat. If it's 'My-ow' it's 'no'.
I got the numbers cracked pretty quickly simply by playing darts with Thais. Once you can get to 20 it's a very repetative pattern - just like English.
But back to the sellers - I do agree that a firm but polite 'no thanks' in Thai works most of the time. The polite bit is important though. The kids can't help being in that situation, and 'one arm' has been doing the rounds for years. In a way I admire her for keeping going more or less legally in a country which provides little help for people with disabilites (unlike some of the beggars who sit with one leg tucked underneath them and rent a baby and dog.) And these days if I bump into her more than likely she will give a rose away - well - she can afford to I guess.
The frog sellers aren't annoying - it's the damn frogs that are annoying! (Actually musical instruments) but it's surprising how many they do sell to tourists, and at full price plus. What concerns me about the Hill Tribe people in HH is who is running THEM now, because they seem to regularly convene by the rail track followed by certain Indian expats.
On the plus side the frogs are made in workshops which provide work for the disabled, so it ain't all bad.

[Coldmike]

I really really don't like peddlers who disrupt my dinner by placing stuffed animals or wind-up toys on the table while I'm eating. I use my best Thai to "Mai ow" them but right when they're about to give up, my wife gets soft and gives them some baht (keep the toy). I am simpathetic, but time and place PLEASE.

[Coldmike]

Moving past my pet peeve and addressing the OPs question, yes I think there is a bit of loss of face if the 'no' is delivered in an impolite way. As mentioned above, smiles and polite language seem to mitigate the loss of face. My experience with kids selling flowers etc is that, for them, any loss of face is part of the act or sales pitch

[margaretcarnes]

I really really don't like peddlers who disrupt my dinner by placing stuffed animals or wind-up toys on the table while I'm eating. I use my best Thai to "Mai ow" them but right when they're about to give up, my wife gets soft and gives them some baht (keep the toy). I am simpathetic, but time and place PLEASE.

Agreed - but to a Thai vendor you are a sitting target. Remember that to many of them the feeding experience is very different - less formal and more fun. I think the only way to deal with that situation is to play along with it and chill out a bit. TIT rules sometimes

[samman]

The other one to try if all else fails is 'mi laaw' or phonetically me low (sounding like now). It means 'have already.'

[samman]

Actually my daughter bought some jewellery of a Hill Tribe woman. It was surprisingly good quality!

[Troyron]

My wife, me and an older friend of hers where out shopping and the friend asked if my wife could ask me to go to another shop. It would be a 15 min detour and I was in a rush, as I had a meeting coming up. I therefore said no, and the my wifes friend was shocked. How could I say no to an older lady? Well she did not say it directly to me, but to my wife a few days later. After that she has never asked me for anything, and I feel she holds a grudge towards me. So there are something to it for sure, but I think it depends if it is to an older person than you or not. Younger people are expected to be there for older people. Surely this does not ably when it comes to buying/selling.

[dtaai-maai]

I don't think it normally applies to shopping detours either, especially when you're driving, already doing someone a favour and have something else planned! I hope you didn't lose any sleep over it.

[Troyron]

I don't think it normally applies to shopping detours either, especially when you're driving, already doing someone a favour and have something else planned! I hope you didn't lose any sleep over it.

Sure did not Was a bid shocked over it thou.

[Vital Spark]

From a slightly different angle, but still on the subject of saying no to Thais:

The father of our landlord asked us if we could teach his grandson English on Saturdays or Sundays. 'No', we politely said in Thai, and explained that although we weren't at work, we still had a lot of correcting to do at the weekends. He persisted saying that he saw us at the house, so we obviously had free time, so his grandson could just be with us and learn English. 'No', very politely again, we really don't have the time or inclination. He still persisted, and it wasn't until the third 'No' that he finally got the message. He wasn't annoyed or upset, he just said OK and got into his ratty pickup.

I had a chat with my Thai colleagues about this and they chuckled and said, 'That's the way we do it in Thailand'. If someone asks you to do something you don't say 'Yes' straight away. You say 'No', even if you mean 'Yes'. That way you make the person asking the favour feel that you're really doing them a big favour. After the third 'No' they know you really mean it.

We've found out that the 'three-time rule' also works when we ask for something to be done at work. Blimey, it's a bit confusing here sometimes...

VS

[Troyron]

If someone asks you to do something you don't say 'Yes' straight away. You say 'No', even if you mean 'Yes'. That way you make the person asking the favour feel that you're really doing them a big favour. After the third 'No' they know you really mean it.

We've found out that the 'three-time rule' also works when we ask for something to be done at work. Blimey, it's a bit confusing here sometimes...

VS

I will try that one out on my wife

[margaretcarnes]

My wife, me and an older friend of hers where out shopping and the friend asked if my wife could ask me to go to another shop. It would be a 15 min detour and I was in a rush, as I had a meeting coming up. I therefore said no, and the my wifes friend was shocked. How could I say no to an older lady? Well she did not say it directly to me, but to my wife a few days later. After that she has never asked me for anything, and I feel she holds a grudge towards me. So there are something to it for sure, but I think it depends if it is to an older person than you or not. Younger people are expected to be there for older people. Surely this does not ably when it comes to buying/selling.

Status applies in every walk of Thai life Troyron. Yes, age comes into it. Your wife would be expected to defer to her older friend. But if you had been Thai the older lady would have to defer to you regardless of your age.
Which shows just how far down the pecking order farang are.

[Troyron]

My wife, me and an older friend of hers where out shopping and the friend asked if my wife could ask me to go to another shop. It would be a 15 min detour and I was in a rush, as I had a meeting coming up. I therefore said no, and the my wifes friend was shocked. How could I say no to an older lady? Well she did not say it directly to me, but to my wife a few days later. After that she has never asked me for anything, and I feel she holds a grudge towards me. So there are something to it for sure, but I think it depends if it is to an older person than you or not. Younger people are expected to be there for older people. Surely this does not ably when it comes to buying/selling.

Status applies in every walk of Thai life Troyron. Yes, age comes into it. Your wife would be expected to defer to her older friend. But if you had been Thai the older lady would have to defer to you regardless of your age.
Which shows just how far down the pecking order farang are.

Normally I just use common sense, if I can help out I will, if not I will say no on a polite way and take the heat as it comes.

[TingTongJohn]

I guess You could use..Mai tong gan ali khop khun Khrap...I do not anything thank you on cetain situations..Could work I guess... Mai ow khop khun khrap is the safe one..
As for the little kids not so much losing face as comign back to their handler and saying no sale and getting a smack..You could do it just just because if its only a few baht
really up to you..Pick your poison..Don`t and the kids gets in trouble or do and feel like a smuck or smucket..If its like 10 baht I would do it...Remember that buddists think what ever you do in this life comes back ten fold in the next(if you believe in that) IN ending its up to you...